Comatose

The Things You Miss

Chapter 18

Marching up to the car as it sat frozen in the road Angelica squinted her eyes trying to see through the glare on the windshield. It wasn't until she had made it to the driver's side door however that she was able to make the driver out. Shock vibrated up her spine as she stared wide eyed at the man behind the wheel. She thought after she had seen him on her campus at college that he had exited her life for good. What Angelica was discovering however was that there are many things she still needed to learn.

Angelica let the scene move forward slowly allowing her to observe Trent's reaction. She wasn't sure why it was so important to her to know if he had been aware of her at the time or not. In that instant however it mattered at great deal to her. She watched him as his head moved to the right just enough for his eyes to be able to follow her past form across the street. There was no surprise expression on his face either which could only mean he had been aware that she lived there. An uneasy feeling began to settle in her as she pondered the implications of the stolen moment. Turning her gaze to the other her Angelica watched as she waved at the motorist completely unaware of who it actually was.

Angelica took a few steps away from the car before rewinding the scene to where her past self was behind her again. She scrutinized the end of the street as she released her hold on the memory setting the time to play normally again. She watched as his car turned onto her block and creeped along until her past self stepped into the street to cross. At that point, his vehicle sped up as if he had been waiting for just that moment. Seeing the whole thing play out again it appeared as if Trent had wanted her to see him. In fact, when he turned his attention back to the road Angelica froze the memory once again. Trent's expression had changed from neutral to almost disappointed. Scowling she marched over to the memory of herself smiling away like a fool. An apt description for that's exactly what she had been.

"How can you be so blind!?" Angelica screamed out wanting nothing more than to slap herself. Tossing her head back in frustration she wondered how she had become so obtuse to the very things happening around her. Deciding to move on she released her hold again ready to keep going. Movement from an upstairs window however distracted her. Rewinding time once again Angelica kept her gaze trained on the window. Ignoring what was going on behind her the memory played again. Frowning she watched in annoyance as the couple groped at each other. If it hadn't been for their hair coloring she wouldn't have been able to tell who the young couple was. As Trent honked behind her Angelica jumped in surprise as did the young woman in the window. She watched the girl scurry away as her past self stood next to her on the sidewalk. Angelica scrutinized the young man who now stood alone in the window glaring out at the street. Or so she thought but instead of his gaze moving with the car as it drove off down the street he instead watched Angelica walk back to the house before moving away too. She had a vague recollection of being scolded for almost being run over. Even though the events that were to follow were hazy at best Angelica tried her hardest to come up with as many details as she could. Moving quickly, she rushed after herself worried the door would close before she made it inside if she weren't fast enough.

Angelica had just skimmed past the front door as it was closing only to encounter the memory of herself passing right through her. Spinning around she watched the image shake momentarily as if she had interrupted a projection playing out. At least now she knew what would happen if she tried to pass through things in a memory. Turning to the staircase Angelica debated heading upstairs. Since she never headed up to the second floor in the memory it probably wouldn't do her any good. She wondered if she would find an empty upstairs or if her mind would conjure up images to fill in what she thinks happened up there. Sighing she gave up knowing that whatever she saw up there either would be a figment of her imagination or another memory completely. She wasn't ready to leave this one quite yet, however. It's not like she could interact with the occupants of her mind, other than herself that is, so she wasn't sure what more she was looking for. One thing was for sure, those kids were all getting a lecture on what was acceptable to do under her roof and what wasn't when she woke up. The thought stalled in her mind festering as she mentally poked at it. What would she do if she woke up? A scowl fell across her face as Angelica crossed her arms in front of her chest. She had been running under the assumption that she would one day wake again. Now however, nothing was assured. If it were up to Kevin, he would let her die no matter her chances otherwise. Although he may not get the chance too if her memories ended up killing her first. Then there was the fact that her would be killer had possibly found her. While the doctors and police officers could hold off her husband, no one would be able to stop someone with no identity yet. Even if she could figure out who it was that night, there was no guarantee that she would be able to pass that information to the authorities before passing away. What good would hunting through her memories do anyone then?

Angelica violently shook her head as if she were trying to dislodge the doubts before they had time to settle in her bones. She couldn't give up. Not now. She needed to function on the belief that she would come out of her coma before it was too late. She would just have to push herself forward step by step if need be until there was no longer any desire to give up. The first thing that would be going was her reaction to just quit. She never used to be like that, and it irritated her to no end that she was now. It was pretty clear that there were a few things she could not find acceptable in her life now that she had seen them for what they were. After all, if she was going to have to confront her attacker, whether in the police station, or in court she needed to be emotionally strong enough for it. If it had been the old Angelica there was no doubt that she would be able to handle the situation. The Angelica that Kevin molded her into? Not so much. She had become to dependent on her husband's approval over the years that she couldn't seem to do anything anymore if it didn't involve her family in some way.

The sound of footsteps on the stairs pulled Angelica out of her musings. The boys were the first two to come down. Her past self moved to her side while smiling up at her son and his friend from college. Angelica observed her likeness feeling disgust at the serene smile that fell naturally upon her features. She rolled her eyes at the woman realizing how idiotic she must have looked to her children over the years. No matter what Kevin did or said to her she had always smiled complacently and adjusted to make him happy. She knew from listening to her children talk inside her hospital room that they both saw their father as a fallible man. She wondered if she ever had or if he had manipulated her right from the very beginning. She knew what she wanted the answer to be but feared it was the opposite.

"I was wondering when I would begin to see signs of life from all of you." The past her teased them before heading to the kitchen to cook up some food for them. She had figured if the boys were awake the girls would be soon as well. Angelica sighed watching the oblivious version of herself traipse off to dutifully do her job as a mother. It didn't seem to matter that all four of the youngsters staying in their house were young adults and more than capable of foraging for themselves. It seemed to give her purpose. Just as calling her children to make sure they were up in time for their college classes and sending both her children care packages biweekly with enough in them neither would want for anything. Thinking about it now she realized she had done both of them a terrible disservice. How were they supposed to stand on their own once she was gone? Sighing in defeat Angelica brought her eyes up to the boys just in time to see their expressions as they watched her walk away. She did not expect to see the reactions that she did. Tyler appeared to be disappointed and slightly angry with her. His friend Jacob just watched her with a deep sadness.

Cooper came barreling across the foyer from the living room wagging his tail happily that Angelica was back. The ruckus he made drew the attention of all three of them allowing each to momentarily forget about what was going on. Angelica felt a pang of longing as she watched him clamor happily behind his owner. As she turned her attention back to the boys her eyes snagged on a vase of flowers sitting on top of the mantle. She would have disregarded it and moved on except for the fact that they were lilies. Figuring it was a manifestation of her mind to explain the smell. Taking a deep breath, she paused. She couldn't smell the lilies anymore. Not even a hint lingered in the outside world at this point. Letting out her breath she looked at them in confused aggravation. If she wasn't smelling the lilies anymore then how did a vase of them end up in the memory?