complicated ; clifford

chapter ten

I woke up to somebody knocking on our front door. I checked my phone, and it was only nine in the morning, so I assumed it was just the mail guys.

I brushed my teeth, checked on Mom, and ran down to get the door. I pulled it open, and to my surprise, there, standing right in front of me, was Brandon Dawson.

It had been a week since the day I had come back home, and he was finally awake.

Before any of us could say anything, Brandon pulled me in for a hug.

"Brandon..." I said, trailing off, not knowing exactly what to say. "How, why, you're all better now! Can I get you something to eat or drink, or are you just stopping by, and I'm so sorry for how I look and for not opening the door and I'll just shut up now."

Why was I rambling on like this? I never do that. Like ever.

"Wow Anna... I... Have you been eating?" Brandon questioned. Kind of ruining the mood. I would never tell him, but he was kind of ruining the mood.

"No." I simply stated.

Brandon tilted his head down and he ruffled through his messy hair.

There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, and I had no idea whether now was the right time or not.

"Hey, Brandon?" I asked, automatically attracting his attention, making his hand drop and his head snap up. "Can we talk? Please."

"Yeah, sure."

I didn't know why, but Brandon seemed a little troubled. Not even a little, a lot. It seemed like there was something he was trying to hide from me.

We sat down on the couch in the living room, and as I curled up into a ball and looked at him, Brandon just sort of blankly stared ahead.

"Are you okay? Is there something bothering you?" I asked quickly. They weren't the two questions I would've ideally asked first, but I had to get that out. Brandon had been there for my countless times, and now it was my turn to repay the favor.

Brandon continued staring ahead, until he finally gave me a "yeah," and turned to look at me.

"Okay then... There goes being honest with each other" I said that last part under my breath, praying that Brandon wouldn't hear. "Brandon, who was it? Who hurt you like that?"

"I did it. It was all me." He stared ahead again, and at that, I walked directly in front of him to where he was staring.

"Brandon Dawson, let me know if you're in there. But for now, get the fuck out of my house. I have so much to worry about right now, and I just want to help you. But you don't want me to help you, and that's fine. So just leave."

I had no idea what made me say this, but some part of me just couldn't handle this anymore. As Brandon stood up, I went over to the front door and opened it for him. He walked out silently. Without a word.

I really hope that Brandon isn't going to turn into how I had been for the past almost two years. Because that person was not only toxic to the people around her, but also to herself.
----<3----
I ran upstairs to check on mom, glad to see that she was still sleeping. Then, I left her a note telling her I would be out. Just out.

Then, I grabbed a sweatshirt, because it was February after all, and ran over to my shed. Driving there felt too weird. I had been running there ever since seventh grade, and I really didn't like change.

Once I got to the shed, I slammed the door behind me, ran to the corner, sunk down to my knees, and cried.

When I was done being a baby and shit, I took my cigarette lighter out of my sweatshirt pocket. I lit it up and brought the flame toward my hand.

Once the flame touched my hand, I jumped a little, but I kept it there. The skin started to brown, but it's not like anyone would care. I mean, I didn't. Michael probably hated me, and same with Brandon. Mom, well, I really didn't know what to expect out of her when I got back.

I heard someone outside of the shed, so I immediately turned the lighter off to reveal a very burned hand.

The door opened, and to my surprise, it was Brandon.

I decided that he was the one who should be talking first, so I just stared at him and left the awkward silence (which I didn't find very awkward) for him to break.

" I stopped by your house again. Your mom told me you would be here," he said in a rush, but since I didn't say anything, I guess Brandon thought that putting himself down would make me feel better again.

"Anna, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking cunt. I don't deserve for you to care about me, but let me just explain here." He looked at me, for some sign of approval or something, so I just nodded, and he continued.

"So I called in a couple days before the trip and made sure that you and Jackie were roommates. I thought it would be better for both of you, but it obviously... wasn't. Then, when I saw how upset you were, I hated myself, and I may have... done some stuff to my self." That was it.

"Brandon. You- What did you do to yourself?"

I was praying to God that he was talking about masturbating.

"I got a knife from the counter downstairs, and..." he trailed off.

"Fuck, Brandon. I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have made such a big deal out of this. Shit," I said, shaking my head.

"Anna, it's not your fault." When I didn't reply, he continued with his story. "Well, then I cleaned myself up. I was just sitting in the bathroom with no idea what to do with myself, when somebody walks in the room. At first, I had assumed it would be Garrett- my roommate. But, it was this dude, blonde, curly hair, short, pretty good looking. He came in to the bathroom with a glass of water and threatened to hurt you if I didn't take a pill, so I took the pill."

"Brandon. You don't have to almost get killed to save me. You know better than anyone that I'm fine with- I would be better dead," I said assuringly, as if that would make anything better.

"But this is you we're talking about. You are such an important person in my life, Anna. Well anyways, I woke up in the LA hospital like three days ago, and I flew back with my mom."

"I- Brandon, I have no idea what to say."
----<3----
Brandon and I had been sitting in the shed for a long time now. This was always where we made our best memories. As of right now, Brandon was sitting next to me in the corner, his arm wrapped around me, and we were just making jokes and talking bad about people we don't like.

I checked my phone to see the time, and as of right now, it read 3:00 PM. I also saw that Michael Clifford had posted a new picture on Facebook.

"Are you going to look at it or not?" Brandon asked, staring at my finger that was hovering over the notification. He obviously didn't know that Michael and I weren't exactly on speaking terms at the time.

But before I could think about what I was doing, I opened my phone to see Michael's picture. He was with another guy, maybe around twenty one years old, and looked very familiar. I couldn't exactly think of where I would've seen him, though.

"That- That- Anna, that's him," Brandon whispered. "That's the guy who tried to kill me."
----<3----
OMG THIS CHAPTER SUCKED IM SO SORRY BUT I JUST FINISHED THE MOST AMAZING FANFICS (the fuck list and she (the sequel)) AND THEYRE SOOO FCKING AMAZING OMG SOO YEA LOL UHM BYEEE :))