ONE: Vanilla on My Hands

10: I'm Blaming it on You and Your Tongue

Frank held his breath when he heard keys jingling in the door. He mentally crossed his fingers and hoped that Ryan wouldn't blow his top when he found out what Frank had done. He knew that Ryan was going to react one way or another, but Frank did hope that Ryan would just roll his eyes and just mention how Frank was being 'Frank'. But this version of Ryan wasn't the real Ryan, this was Frank's own in-head creation who far differed from the original. Unfortunately, Ryan in Frank's head was more okay with his body modification choices than the one who had opened the front door. Frank hoped that real-life Ryan would be a little bit more chilled about the upcoming discovery. 

"Hey, sweetheart." Ryan called out when he let himself in and dumped his keys in the bowl by the front door. He made his way into the kitchen and set his brown briefcase down, "Are you home?"

Frank didn't entirely know how to respond. He knew that whatever he said to Ryan right now was going to be affected by his swollen tongue. He didn't want to ignore Ryan but he also didn't want to draw attention to himself. He didn't want to make Ryan curious as to why he was talking like Sylvester the Cat.

"Hey, dude." Frank finally called out from the sitting room and waved his hand when Ryan's head popped into view. Frank winced lightly at his own voice and was so glad when he noticed that Ryan hadn't heard any difference just yet. Ryan walked into the sitting room and saw the water bottle.

"What did I say about this?" He sighed as he walked over to the coffee table and picked up the bottle. He pulled a tissue from his pocket to wipe the surface of it, "I don't like it when you drink straight from the bottle. It's our water. Can't you just pour some into a glass like a normal person?"

"Thorry." Frank apologized, wondering how long it was going to take Ryan to notice his speech. Any moment now. Frank knew it. Ryan did notice it and he paused for a moment, still holding the bottle in his hand. He looked like he was about to go and put the water bottle back but he stopped halfway into turning. He frowned at Frank and Frank just stared back, noting how he could literally see the cogs working in Ryan's head.

"You okay there?" Ryan asked curiously and Frank felt like a deer in the headlights. Shit.

"Mm-hmm." Frank nodded, his hand instinctively coming up to his mouth to hide it. Even though his mouth was closed, he felt the need to shield himself. He felt like Ryan already knew, even if he didn't. Frank hoped he didn't. But he was going to find out. 

"What is going on with you?" Ryan pushed further when Frank covered his mouth, "What are you doing?" Frank tried to play it off, he tried to play it cool but it clearly wasn't working for Ryan. Frank tried to be more casual about it and not be as obvious about his mouth. Ryan squinted and went to bat Frank's hand away but Frank intercepted and Ryan frowned, "Honestly," Ryan snapped a little, seemingly losing his temper and getting a little annoyed with Frank, "What is going on? What are you hiding from me?"

Frank knew that there was no getting around it now. He knew from the moment he had gotten it done that it would happen. But he had hoped that there would be some gap before Ryan would get into his business. Who was he kidding though? Ryan was going to notice pretty much from the word 'go' and it looked like he was already super close. Even if he didn't notice the way that Frank had a lisp, then he was going to notice the piercing one way or another. Frank sighed and rolled his eyes before he moved his hand. There was a second of pause before he just opened his mouth and showed Ryan his tongue.

"Oh my..." Ryan started as he brought his hand up to his mouth, clearly unable to finish what he had wanted to exclaim. His eyes went wide with shock, staring down at Frank's swollen tongue and the metal bar that was stuck in it, "What have you done?"

"Goth my tongue pierthed, dude." Frank stated the obvious as he gave Ryan a small smile because even though Ryan was about to explode, Frank was still ecstatic over his choices.