Chocolate Bar-bie

13

Trigger Warning: The ending of ones own life.

-

I stood on the railing of the bridge. Hot tears rolling down my cheeks, but I don't understand why I'm crying. Why am I so sad? It was too good to be true, right?

Maybe it's because this time what he did was so sick that it flips my stomach.

Maybe because I for one second really thought I could be likable.

Why are you crying, Park Jimin?

How pathetic you look here on this bridge. People calling out for you and begging you to come down. How they're frozen, afraid to take another step incase you might lunge yourself forward. How you know that you will jump regardless.

It's an odd feeling inside of me now. I'm crying, but I'm not shaking. I'm not having a melt down. There's no panic left in me. I didn't go home and tear apart my room while screaming. This pain is past that point. Instead I ran to the heart of the city, climbed onto the railing of the bridge. Now I'm staring down at the water.

I don't have it in me to do anything. Nothing besides stand here and cry expressionlessly. Nothing but lick my lips and blink at the water.

The current's strong today. It's winter after all.

I'm real tired of the games. I'm tired of school and homework. Tired of my mom trying to cheer me up when there's nothing left in me. So tired of seeing myself in the mirror. Tired of having to deal with Taehyung and his friends. Tired of Jungkook.

I deserve to rest, despite what the cries behind me are saying. Background noise, really.

My eyes fluttered shut as I let out a heavy sigh. I blink once more to finish off my tears, and then I shut my eyes for good.

I move forward, dropping down to allow the current to decide what happens next.