An Honest Woman | Female Jaime Lannister | GOT/ASOIAF

Strong Words

EDITED 16/12/20 - some rather crucial changes

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Awaking that morning in a feather bed with plump pillows and embroidered sheets, rather than a forest floor or hard dungeon wall, was rather surreal for Jaime. It was dawn, and she did not wake to dozens of men preparing to ride off for the day, but instead to two girls - my daughters, and didn't that thought make her smile - sleeping soundly, the morning sunlight blocked by thick curtains. It felt strange to wake up and not find Brien's broad face glowering down at her.

Jaime silently slid out from under the blankets, trying not to wake Helia. Instead of simply sleeping in the same clothes she'd been wearing for weeks, she'd had the luxury of changing into a soft nightgown, white and spotlessly clean. Well, until she'd worn it, at least. She needed a bath desperately, and grimaced at the travel dust and grim she had left on the pristine sheets, greying the edges of her nightgown. 

Deciding to chance that her old rooms were still hers, she padded barefoot out of her daughters' chambers and down the corridor. Thankfully, her belongings were untouched, the room was unoccupied, and she found Pia there already awake, leafing through her wardrobe with an expression of mild awe. Jaime cleared her throat.

"Oh!" The girl jumped, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry, milady, I - "

"You're a lady's maid, it's your job to go through my dresses," She shrugged. Pia smiled rather sheepishly. "You can have one of the plainer ones, if you like, I'll give you coin to get it altered. You still look like a girl from a buttery,"

"Really?" The girl beamed, forgetting her title as she often had during their weeks travelling from Harrenhal. Jaime had to laugh. 

"Yes, really," She moved over to the window, taking in the familiar view over Blackwater Bay. It's as if no time has passed at all. "Pick one out for me, too, and send someone for bath water," Her stomach rumbled, reminding her she hadn't eaten since noon the day before. "And breakfast,"

After her bath, she found that all her clothes fit poorly, and not only for the obvious reason that her chest had rather unevenly halved in size. Jaime had known that since Riverrun that she had lost weight, but hadn't fully appreciated it in the borrowed collection of clothes she had worn. It was startling to see how gowns that had once fitted like a glove hung off her, how the bodice gaped loose even on the side of her chest that hadn't been mutilated. 

Pia chose well, however, selecting a rarely-worn, high-necked gown of dark red, which concealed the fact she was stuffing half her chest at least. Despite the ill-fitting clothes, Jaime felt more like herself than she had done in months as she sat down to eat. She had never been a lady to religiously watch what she ate, as training with a sword took care of her figure, but now ate intentionally more than she would normally, intending to get her strength back as soon as she could.  

It was still early morning when the door to her chambers burst open and two dark haired blurs flew in.

"Mother!" She was scarcely on her feet before they collided with her legs. Jaime felt a lump rising in her throat as she knelt on the ground beside her youngest daughters, flinging her arms tightly around both of them, unable to say a word. They smelt the same, she realised, both dressed in their nightclothes still. At least they're glad to see me. But Argella and Roanna were too young to understand everything that had happened. There was no guarantee that the others would be as enthused by her return. A tired, caught-off-guard Helia was one thing. I'd be surprised if Orryn could even look at me, and gods, Myrcella.

Jaime pulled back after a while, and the questions started almost immediately.

"You look different, Mother," Argella frowned.