Addicted to you- Alec Lightwood

28-The Life Of a Vampire

Raphael walked over to Ethan and lay a hand on his arm gently.

"You wanna come back to the Dumort for a little bit, amigo? We can speak to the clan and tell them to look for Simon" Raphael asked, smiling warmly at Ethan. 

Ethan smiled back weakly. "That would be nice, Rafe. I have a lot of questions for you anyway, hermano"

Ethan walked into the Institute to grab a jacket. As he did so, he felt a light tap on his back. When he turned around, he saw Alec staring at him, inquisitively.

"Where you going, E?" he asked.

"I'm going to the Dumort for a bit. I... I need to know what Simon is going through and what he will have to face in the future," Ethan replied, shrugging on a jacket, "he shouldn't have to go it alone and I want to be there for him"

Alec nodded in understanding. "Okay, Ethan. I trust you, but just be careful. You don't know how tricky some vampires can be"

Ethan smiled at Alec. "Thanks, Al. I'll be back in a couple of hours. Don't wait up!"

And, with that, he met Raphael outside and they made their way to the Dumort together. An uncomfortable silence ensued for a while before Raphael tentatively broke it.

"So... you mentioned that you didn't agree with Clary's decision to turn Simon. You want to talk about it, amigo?

Ethan shook his head. "Not really. I just... of course I feel guilty for wanting to kill Simon. But did you see his face when he realised what had happened? He looked so ashamed"

Raphael nodded knowingly. "Yes, and for good reason. The life of a vampire is a shameful one. I'm still trying to learn to live with it. And I was turned in the 1950s"

Ethan turned to look at Raphael, still walking as he did so. "Do you really hate yourself that much? I thought you built your clan up, made them believe they weren't as bad as they thought they were"

Raphael looked sorrowful, a lone tear crawling down his face. "I've done some bad things in my time of being a vampire, worse than anyone else in my clan, aside from Camille. Things that I regret everyday, and wish I could take back"

Ethan and Raphael paused outside of the Hotel Dumort, and Raphael faced Ethan and wiped the tear away from his cheek. "I don't hate all vampire kind. Just me"

Ethan lay a hand on Raphael's hand. "Rafe, you have been there for me a lot more in the past month or so than someone I have known my entire life. Don't carry on beating yourself up over the mistakes of the past. Focus on the good you have done in the present, and what you can achieve in the future. If you put your mind to it, you could help all Downworlders to become more equal"

The corners of Raphael's mouth turned up in a smile. "Really? You mean that?"

Ethan grinned back. "Of course. I'm proud to call you a friend Rafe"

Raphael laughed before leading Ethan inside. "A nickname, huh? I really must have made an impression. I mean, you insist on calling your sister, Clarissa"

Ethan's mood soured a little at the mention of his sister. "I don't want to talk about her"

Once again, Raphael nodded in understanding, then turned to a vampire who had run to greet them.

"Raphael, the new vampire has returned, " she said, eyeing Ethan up and down with curiosity, "and who might this very attractive Shadowhunter be?"

"Thank you, Lucy, for your message," Raphael stated, giving her a warning look, "but I advise you to stay away from Ethan"

Raphael and Ethan walked past her, as Ethan glanced backwards, and saw that Lucy still didn't seem hesitant to flirt with him. So he left with a parting comment he knew would knock the wind out of her sails:

"I'm gay, by the way"

                                             ..............................................

Ethan and Raphael found Simon sitting in Raphael's room, seemingly uncomfortable. As soon as Ethan saw him, he sat on the bed and tried to wrap his arms around Simon in a hug, but Simon backed away.

"You can't be near me, E," he said, his arms held out in front of him as if to ward Ethan away, "I'm dangerous"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Simon, you're about as dangerous as a Pop Tart. And, trust me, when I've seen you in a tree costume, you could never be scary to me"

"That was for a school play!" Simon groaned in frustration, and his fangs showed clearly. He covered his mouth in embarrassment

"Si, I'm so sorry you're like this..." Ethan said, feeling so much sympathy for the boy, he couldn't put it into words.

Simon laughed bitterly. "Why didn't you just kill me? Why did you turn me into this?"

Ethan looked into Simon's eyes, terrified to say these next words to his face. "Si, it wasn't my idea. I knew you wouldn't want to be like this, and I told Clary this, but she wouldn't have it. Im so sorry, and I feel so guilty for saying this, but I wanted to kill you. I thought it would be what you wanted."

Simon gaped at Ethan for a moment, and that was what made Ethan suspect the worst.

'He's going to hate me now,' Ethan thought, 'He's gonna think I hate him , and that's why I thought we should stake him'

But, to Ethan's utter relief, Simon flung his arms around him.

"E, I didn't want to be like this. You know me. She should have just staked me. That way I could have died human" he said, crying.

Ethan rubbed his back soothingly. "Shhh, I know"

"Mom and Rebecca are never gonna want me in their lives again. I have nowhere to go"

Ethan held Simon by the arms. "Look, Elaine won't kick you out. I know her. And, even if she does,  you will be able to stay here. Right, Rafe?"

The two boys turned to look at Raphael, who nodded and smiled lightly. "Of course, my little fledgling. There will always be a place for you at the Dumort. You too, E. Never has a Shadowhunter been so respectful to our kind. You are welcome here anytime you want, and you will always have my assistance"

Ethan smiled widely. "Thanks, Rafe"