dicey ↬ nomin

Ch.40

The assembly of police cars outside the orphanage was too interesting for most people in the town to ignore. A few people stopped across the street and watched from afar as Mrs. Kim conversed with the policemen and a group of the little children clung to her trousers like a lifeline. None of the kids understood what was happening. All they knew was that Jaewoo had done something bad and he was going to the police station to be talked to.

As a policewoman held his arm and encouraged him through the doorway and into the garden of his home, Jaewoo kept his gaze on Jeno. As he got closer and Jaewoo stopped walking, the policewoman knew that she had a good hold on him so she wasn't too bothered when he began to stare menacingly at Jeno. "You are who you are today because of me," he growled.

Jeno looked at the hands cuffed behind the boy's back and felt some colour return to his face. "And you say that like it's a good thing."

He tried to lean closer to his victim, but the policewoman pulled him back sternly and attempted to push him into the car. "I'll be back for you soon. You know I never break a promise."

Jeno looked into his eyes and fought with him for what felt like an eternity although it was only a split second before the taller boy was shoved into the car seat. "Please, tell me what Hell is like when you come back, okay?" Jeno simpered and watched as the door slammed closed to show a very sour and enraged Jaewoo through the nearly blacked out windows. Jeno folded his arms and walked away. He didn't need to look at him anymore, so he wasn't going to. There was no need to burn a picture of his face into his memory because there was nothing good to remember about him.

"You really did it," Chenle and Hyuck were waiting for him in the doorway and pulled him into a huge hug. It was so comforting and they were so soft and welcoming. "I'm in shock," Chenle added with some tears running down his cheeks. He had waited so long for this day for Jeno and the reality had only just hit him.

"I guess you're free now," Donghyuck smiled weakly, but he knew that there would never be real freedom when he had the horrible memories to keep him company at his darkest hours. "It's a strand of freedom, at least."

Jeno nodded and couldn't help but feel his own tears surface. He hadn't cried yet because he knew the police needed to take him down to the station for a chat and he didn't want to seem more weak. But it just wasn't enough that he wanted to seem strong, because the bigger picture was that he was ready to move on and leave the tears behind. They had to be shed to be turned away from.

"Cry all you want," Jaemin's voice chimed behind him and he turned around, breaking away from his brothers. His pink hair was catching the breeze and strands were being taken in different directions, but he looked beautiful. Jeno leaped over and buried his face in Jaemin's neck. The tears were there to help, but he was moving on little by little. Over Jaemin's shoulder, he watched the car with Jaewoo pull out of the driveway. There was his first step.

As he sobbed and held so tightly onto Jaemin that his arms began to hurt, he absorbed the scent and the feeling of being hugged. Jaemin's arms were securely wrapped around him and were going to hold him for as long as he needed. He was also feeling as light as a feather because the boy he loved was away from the boy who had had such a hold on him. He leaned his head down on Jeno's shoulder and they stayed like that until a policeman had to interrupt them.

"Excuse me," the man said politely. "Mr. Lee, are you ready to go to the station with us?"

Jeno nodded but hesitated to leave Jaemin's touch. He held on for as long as he could before he needed to let go and his eyes stayed on him until Chenle and Donghyuck took his attention. "We'll all be waiting for you when you come back, alright? Stay strong."

He nodded and smiled through his bleary eyes and wiped them free of the salty tears. Mrs. Kim, who had puffy red eyes as well, held his hand for the whole car journey up to the station and wouldn't let go. She was dealing with so much that she couldn't think straight. Jaewoo was abusive, Jeno was being abused, one of the littlies was being fostered and she was expecting a nice couple to visit Heeoh today. Her mind was looping with everything going on in it, but Jeno's case held her the most.

***

When they got back from the police station, it was quite late and the older kids were entertaining the scared younger kids. Mrs. Kim had to explain to them that Jaewoo wouldn't be staying with them anymore because he found a nice family. None of them were at the age to understand that he had been a terrible person the whole time, but Ki had caught on with all the police and some of the conversations.

Jeno stayed in the kitchen with Mrs. Kim as she leaned against the counter for support. The usual life in her eyes was waning and it hurt Jeno to watch. He walked over to her and gave her a hug from behind. "You didn't fail at your job, if that's what you're thinking."

She sighed and rubbed her raw eyes tiredly. "I didn't even catch on. I knew something was different with you and I couldn't tell what."

He shook his head and lay it on her shoulder. "I just know how to hide things. We all do, so don't take it to heart. I simply didn't want you to know."

Her arms relaxed and she turned around to pull him into a hug from the front. "I can't believe you've been such a strong boy for so long. What happened to the little Jeno who couldn't even ride a bike? Who couldn't walk down the stairs without holding someone's hand?"

"He's just on vacation," he chuckled and rubbed her back soothingly. He knew that this was very hard on her. "You're the only mother I've ever had, I've ever wanted and I've ever needed, so please don't cry because of me."

She let a few more tears go before rubbing her eyes again and making them sore. "Well, you older kids have really been the best things that ever happened to me. The younger ones have so much personality and they need parents to dote on them and only them, but you guys were always different. You're the sons I never had."

He pulled away from the hug and patted her shoulder. The air was calm and more relaxed now that the bite had been taken out of the day. They were left raw, numb and unsure of what to do next, but it was definitely a step in the right direction. "I'm going upstairs, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her cheek and made his way up the stairs to where Donghyuck and Chenle were lying together on Chenle's bed with phones at their ears.

"Mark, I love you so much," Donghyuck was saying. "No, nothing has happened. I just wanted to tell you that. You're just really- Oh, sure. I just want to express how much I care- No! I'm not at the bridge! I have so much to live for!"

Jeno chuckled and eavesdropped on what Chenle was saying on his phone. "I promise. We'll get through your OCD together. I won't let you face it alone."

He sat down on his bed and began to daydream at the floor. He wanted to see Jaemin again. He wasn't ready to leave him and he felt like he was missing a piece of himself. He sighed and lay back, the ceiling he had slept under for nearly fifteen years suddenly becoming more interesting to stare at than ever before. He rolled over and pulled his pillow into himself. When had Jaemin even left? He was hoping that he'd be here when he got home, but he knew it was a big ask.

As he was thinking this, he heard a knock at the door. He wandered over and opened it because the other two didn't move an inch. Jaemin was there and he had various disassembled pieces of Donghyuck's bed from his room downstairs. "Hey. Hyuck asked me to carry these up because he'll be moving in here with you guys."

Jeno opened the door wider and watched him lumber in with a heavy headboard under his arm. His face lit up and he was glad that he hadn't been left. It was just criminal to even think that he used to detest this guy. Then, one day out of the blue, they began to get along. It led them from petty fights to awkward moments to eavesdropping to being stuck in a bathroom cubicle. When he thought about it, it all helped to build up to their magic moment last night. Without Jaemin, his life lacked colour, and with him, everything and everyone around him brightened up.

He hadn't been very happy around the time they got to know each other, and after a few hangouts and some time spent in each other's company, he was able to joke and take everything a little less seriously. He hoped it was the same for Jaemin, but he highly doubted it. Na Jaemin didn't change for anybody, and Jeno liked that.