I see you, Tsu'tey

Chapter 31

"You know you don't have to stare at them every second." Ngeha told Awa as they looked over at the ten, maybe 15, of Na'vi children playing a mix between hide-and-seek and tag. They had chosen two of the children, this time the smallest and thinnest of the group, to the chasers and their job was to chase the children they found and once they tagged all the other children they had won the game and a new round began.

Awa laughed and shook her head, almost motherly and with longing, at the children laughing as they rushed around the trees. "I know I don't have to but just look at them, they're so happy all the time and carefree. I wish I could be like that and just forget about everything."

The older Na'vi smiled at the younger one and placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're one of the strongest people I know, Awa, don't lose that strength now that you need it more than ever"

"I just want to not feel this way" She sighed and turned away from the look of pity Ngeha was sending her. Awa was tired of the constant pity she got from both Atxa and Ngeha whenever she said anything they thought sounded self-hating or bad for her mental health. She was recovering, but just like everything else that takes time. "Don't look at me like that... You know I don't like it. This pity needs to stop. I'm handling it, and Tsu is being extremely supportive and understanding"

"You've been more upset lately. Ever since JakeSully started training with Neytiri, why does this bother you?" Ngeha pressed the matter with a careful smile and veiled eyes. Awa could feel how hard Ngeha's heart was beating through her hand, and if she focused hard enough she could almost hear the organ beat in her chest.

She sighed, "I don't know, Ngeha. I'm so confused all the time. I want to hate him but I can't- it's like there's this force holding me back from hating him. He's doing all the things I wanted, and had to fight so hard for, without any of the hard parts. I guess I'm jealous." Awa ran a hand down her fatigued face and then let the hand fall on her lap limply. "I don't want to talk about it. It's fine, I'm handling it."

Atxa walked up to them and sat down on the branch the pair was occupying. His hair was newly braided, by Awa just an hour or two ago, and his face was still twisted up in a mix between a frown and wince. She imagined that the braids were still pulling uncomfortably on his scalp and that he had a headache.

"Don't push too hard, Ngeha, if she says she's fine then we'll have to trust her on that" He said after draping his arm over his mate's shoulders, making Ngeha melt into his embrace. Atxa leaned down and pulled Ngeha up to meet him in a gentle, brief kiss before tucking her close to his side. "Hi" He whispered to her, smiling brightly.

"Hi" Ngeha whispered back. "How's your head doing?" She winked at him and then snickered at the wounded look he sent her in response. Atxa looked away from his mate to send Awa a glare that promised payback, before looking back down at his smirking Ngeha.

"Better"

Ngeha tsked and shook her head as if disappointed. " A shame. I'll have to ask her to do it better next time then. You've always been so tender-headed. His mother told me this, Awa, that he would never let her manage his head as a child, unruly as it was, and would cry rivers whenever she got close to him for two weeks after she finally braided it." Ngeha chuckled and hit him lightly in the side when he turned his affronted glare over to her instead.

"I was gentle" Awa protested with a relieved smile after the change of topic.

"She's lying, love. I can still feel the harsh tugs and mischievous eyes." Atxa told Ngeha and brushed his fingers through the loosened braids there, working on freeing her hair from its confinement. "She must have forgotten that I know many of her secrets and my tongue is starting to loosen with age" His eyes shone with mirth as he teased his former student.