Jumbled

Hatred will never be erased!

I am feeling dizzy. I couldn't sleep a bit last night. I felt like a pendulum swinging left to right-right to left and left to right as I was thinking about this situation; lying flat on my bed.One thing I couldn't figure out that how would I work with Danny. But then again,Niaz told me I was a white canvas with colors  splattered on it. I closed my eyes and saw Niaz's smile. I opened them and saw Danny smirking at me. 

I am in a juxtaposition now and it feels like the world is ending. Actually, I will feel a lot better if I knew the world is going to end in one minute. I would look at my phone,sigh happily, and then boom! The world will end.

Ugh!!!!Niaz is looking at me right now with his beautiful smile and I can't fail his expectations. I simply can't.

I give my chair a quick spin. I was trying to do homework,but in vain. I take up my phone. Notifications from my social media pop up on the screen. Nope. Not in the mood.

What the HECK! It's 3:30 already! I've to change and get ready! Wait! Have I already made up my mind to go there? I guess so.

I am putting on my lipstick when I hear the sound of a car ignition.

Alisha!

I haven't told her yet!

Run!

I jump and leap and skip some stairs to catch her. She is almost going away. I can see it from our living room's front side that is enveloped with glass.

"Waaaait!" I shout and pant at the same time.

At first she doesn't notice me. But then she sees me on the mirror and stops the car.

"Nat? What happened ?" she says when she finally swivels the car at my direction.

"I..um...ahh....I'll go."

"Err..why are you panting?"

"Because....I ran....all the way from second floor..in five seconds!"

"You could've texted me or simply told me before-"

"Oh right! Phone! I forgot. Just give me a sec. I'm going to get it quickly from my room."

"I am waiting. You don't have to hurr.......okay you're gone."
.
.
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I come back before Alisha could even switch off the engine. 

"Okay,now you can go." I say. Hot breaths are coming out of my ears. My heart is thundering like it will come out of my rib-cage at any moment.

"What changed your mind?" Alisha says when she pulls the car on the main street.

"I couldn't just left you to Danny, now could I?"

"Are you sure you are not killing yourself in the process of saving us? And why would we need saving? He is not some bloodthirsty monster." she looks irritated.

"I no longer can have you having the title of 'mother of all humanity'. It's time for me to step on and snatch the crown from your head."

She and I both laugh.

"No,tell me the real reason. Are you worried about the college application? You know volunteering is not the main key to get somewhere. Colleges seek what you're  passionate about. You love modeling. Why not do that?"

"I don't want to let mom down." I say.

It's a lie,but also a truth. The real  reason I'm doing this,is well- because of Niaz, but I guess I can't let mom down,either. And, I can't let Alisha down,too. So,well.

"I see." she says.

Niaz is already here when we parked in. "My mom gave me a ride,so I had to come early." he says when he sees us.

I am already being jealous at Alisha for having the chance to work with Niaz. He is wearing a turquoise colored T-shirt today, and if Poseidon was here,he would claim him as his son instead of Percy Jackson.

Sorry,that was mean. Percy was only twelve when he claimed him. Obviously he didn't claim him because he looked hot. I don't even know if a twelve year old tween can look hot.

But how can I describe this? When we got into high school, somehow, Niaz got prettier,hotter,more attractive. Puberty hit him like a roller coaster.

It's not like I didn't see him in summer that year, we practically spent our whole vacation in his basement,playing video games. But when I saw him in the hallway on the first day of high school, I crushed and tripped and fell hard. I didn't know what changed. Maybe I did. Maybe he did. But he was not Niaz anymore.

Three years later and I am still acting like a loser. I should have gathered up my courage a long ago and ask him out. I could've told Alisha. But I kept it hidden. 

"A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets"

Thanks Titanic,for teaching me that line and ruin my life forever.

"Hola amigo." Danny says,while coming towards us and flashing his stupid teeth.

Just R.U.I.N.E.D my mood.

I grit my teeth.

Niaz holds his breath.

Alisha comes forward in our aid and breaks the ice.

"Hi Danny! "she says as she goes towards him and hugs him.

HUGS him?!?!

What the freaking hell is she doing! 

Alisha retreats before I could jerk her back.It was a brief, friendly hug.

Friendly? He should be happy I didn't slap him the moment I saw him.

He looks dumbfounded too.

Volunteers are being called for receiving their first assignment.

I march forward, not caring to see if Danny comes after me.

But he does. And when our subgroup leader, Alex hands out our assigned duty, he starts questioning him about terms and conditions and what not.

You think he is eager to know top to bottom about the assignment ? Jokes on you. He actually is trying to perturb me by making me hear his obnoxious stupid voice every ten seconds. I swear, devil himself made Danny. I swear.

But I don't show any reaction. I am not giving Ellen another reason to chide me. [HOW DARE SHE SAID THESE THINGS TO ME THE OTHER DAY!!!!]

We are assigned to help a library categories their books in spreadsheet. It's an old library, and they use handwritten records still to this date. So we have to digitize their records so they don't have to suffer anymore.Though I wonder, what will they do once new books arrive?Will they ask for another batch of volunteers to categorize their books in spreadsheet? Or will they use record book again? If so, then what's the point of this job?

They have sent the record books they used to store books' information in this organization. Alex tells us to pick the records from our group's activity room.He tells us to head off to the tech room, where all the computers and laptops are being kept.

At least there's a plus point.It's a Data Entry job. That means no interaction with Danny.

I smile at last. It's a brief smile, but at least I'm smiling in front of Danny.

[And this is how my days at Hell camouflaged in the form of community care began.]

I know the chapter title is somehow deceiving. But I guess by now you've got acquainted with my foul-loathsome-evil-little-writing-style and also understood that there's no hope in my improvement. However, you deserve a clap for coming this far into the story.Also, don't be lazy (like me) and put up a critic comment,right now!

Title:Shinobu Ohtaka