Begin Again

chapter seventeen

I DON'T THINK I've ever heard the apartment as quiet as it is now. You can practically hear a pin drop. Usually, I would wake up to the television blaring in the living room or the sounds of pots and pans banging around in the kitchen as either Talia or Veronica attempted to cook breakfast. But this morning, there is nothing.

This is the third morning in a row where it's just been nothing.

Sitting at the kitchen table, I haphazardly sip my hot coffee, switching between reading the news from my phone and looking at Talia and Veronica's closed doors. I know they are both in the apartment, primarily because I had heard Talia speaking on the phone while I was brewing coffee, and Veronica had been in the bathroom taking a shower before I had the chance to.

After the disastrous events at Helena's party, the mayhem seemed to follow us when we returned to the city. As soon as Veronica and I stepped into the apartment, Talia barely lifted a finger to regard us. She'd been sitting in the living room with Nick, and as soon as we popped our heads in, she had already begun bulldozing towards her room, slamming the door behind her as Nick shot us both apologetic looks.

Since that encounter, she's taken extra precautions to avoid running into Veronica and me. She will leave early for classes and hide in her room until the common area is empty. I'm impressed by Talia's willingness to go to avoid talking to us.

Suddenly, a door flies open, jolting me from my thoughts. My heart speeds up, thinking it was Talia, though when I saw Veronica instead, I let out a sigh of relief. I don't know what I would've said or done if Talia had chosen this moment to confront me.

Veronica looks exhausted. The deep bags and rumbled clothes hanging off of her body are a sure sign of that. She looks as if she hasn't been getting any sleep.

She manages to smile weakly at me, her feet padding into the kitchen as she pours herself some coffee.

"How're you doing?" I immediately cringe at the question. It's obvious she isn't doing so well.

Despite the awkward inquiry, Veronica shrugs, leaning against the opposite side of the table. "Shitty." I nod thoughtfully, taking another sip from my mug.

"I should be asking you that question," she continues. My back stiffens when I realize she is referring to Sebastian. After leaving when I heard about his engagement, he hasn't tried texting or calling like I'd assumed he would. I'm still debating whether I'm glad for the radio silence, considering I have absolutely nothing yet absolutely everything to say to him.

"Helena said she's been engaged for the last two months," I whisper. "Sebastian and I broke up in the middle of October." If I am doing the math correctly, that means that Sebastian proposed either the day of our breakup or the day after, which makes me even more enraged. Did he end our relationship to be with Helena?

Veronica looks remorseful. "I'm sorry, Eves."

"Yeah, me too," I mumble, rubbing my thumb over the rim of my cup. "Have you spoken to Olivia since that night?"

"No," she says curtly, looking down at the floor. "She's been calling me nonstop, but I-I just can't right now."

"You know none of this is your fault, right?" I ask tenderly. "It might all seem that way, but you were just trying to protect Talia and this friendship."

"Isn't it?" Veronica counters, briefly meeting my eyes. "I mean, I lied to my best friend. I hurt her immensely. And it's all because I was too cowardly to say anything to her."

My expression softens a little. It's a tricky situation, and maybe Veronica is right. Perhaps this could've all been avoided if she had told Talia from the beginning that she was moving to Paris. But she didn't. And we can't go back in time and wonder if the outcome could've been different.