Begin Again

chapter nineteen

"THANK YOU, HAVE a nice afternoon." I smile at the Uber driver as I quickly exit his car, closing the door behind me.

Looking up at the small house on the street corner, I swallow down the ball of nerves forming in my throat. I've never been to The Bronx before, and unfortunately, my first time will be to interview a mother who's just lost her son.

When I woke up that morning, my phone had blared with the reminder for my interview with Jermaine Bowers' mother, Grace Bowers. I've done an excellent job of saving my nerves leading up to today, trying to keep my mind on other things, like finishing my second to last semester of college. But now there is no running away or trying to distract myself, not when her house is staring right at me, the street surrounding me as quiet as ever.

I'd half expected to see vans upon vans of different news crews or maybe people milling outside, waiting for Grace to make an appearance or something. But, it seems that the only thing that alerts me of being at the right house is the immense collection of flowers and paper hearts at the edge of the sidewalk, centered around a picture of Jermaine himself. He is smiling, a pearly white grin that has my chest constricting in pain.

I look down at my phone, seeing a few texts from my mom and brother in the family group chat, wishing me good luck with my interview. As I read their good wishes, my lips pull back into a smile as I quickly type back a thank you message. When I swipe out of the messages, my fingers twitch, seeing Miles' name at the bottom of my screen. As I'd been getting ready the entire morning, the only person's voice I'd wanted to hear was his. His soothing tone as he coaches me through my anxiety and tells me that he knows I can walk into Grace Bowers' home and talk to her. Except, I am not able to call him. I had royally screwed things up with him, and it has been almost a week since I'd kissed Sebastian while simultaneously stepping on Miles' heart.

Sort of in the same way Sebastian had stepped on mine.

Shaking away my thoughts, I pocket my phone before I decide to do something stupid. With a heavy sigh, I walk towards the metal gate, pushing the lock up and gently leaning against it as it creaks open. The sound seems to echo all down the block, and I inwardly wince at the loud noise. My feet seem to carry me up to her porch steps and to the door, where I take an additional five deep breaths before ringing the doorbell.

I hold my breath, rocking back and forth on my heels, until I hear the sound of locks being turned and the door opening slowly.

A petite older lady stands behind the screen door, squinting at me through a pair of thick-rimmed glasses. Her gray hair is braided in two; a long dress draped over her thin figure. Even without being introduced, I know this is Jermaine's mother, Grace. I can see it in her eyes; they share the same brown irises, except for his glowing in the picture sitting outside her house; her eyes are clouded with pain.

"Hi, Mrs. Bowers. I'm Evie Porter. We exchanged emails to set up this interview." The confusion immediately clears as she unlocks the screen door, opening it with her foot.

"Hello, dear. Come in, come in."

I brush past her with a smile, walking further into her home. There is hardly any noise coming from inside, except for the sound of the television, which is on a low volume. Grace comes up from behind me, gesturing towards the dining table in the kitchen.

"Do you want some coffee or tea?" she asks, walking towards the kettle.

"Tea, please. Thank you so much." I watch as she nods, running the pot under the water before placing it over the stove, the fire underneath causing the kettle to let out low whistles. While she is preparing the tea, I take out my notepad and pen and place my phone in front of me, making sure it's positioned right to capture our voices.