A Co-Captain's Doubts

Tethered

Although Sugawara was physically present as the four made their way back to the gymnasium, the third year setter felt barely tethered to the ground. If it wasn't for the prominent ache in his cheekbone and the chilling touch of the ice pack pressed to his face, Suga was sure he'd be too distant to walk straight.

Daichi had warned him in the past he could be too introspective, but those words fled him as the thoughts he'd always rejected began to sound more realistic, the rational becoming ambiguous.

As they approached the propped open heavy metal doors, Suga felt a tightening in his stomach. The desert within his head seemed to expand out in every direction and his mouth went dry as he heard the very familiar sounds of a ball ricocheting off skin. The noise alone usually ignited a fierce desire in the silver haired setter, making him crave the pressure of the ball propelling from his fingertips. The satisfying sting from the contact of a solid receive was always welcome, but there was nothing like watching your teammate score with a toss you had given them. It was a high Suga lacked the ability to describe, and could only compare to pride... A pride that had completely left him.

For the first time in his life, Suga didn't want to be in the gym, it was far too loud... Or was that just his thoughts? Either way, his head was turned to face the floor as they made their way toward Coach Ukai, cringing as the squeak of volleyball shoes echoed around him. He was so focused on ignoring everything, that he didn't acknowledge Noya yell "Out!" as a spike from the opposing team came hurtling his way. He was completely oblivious to the situation until Daichi abruptly reached around him, and hastily deflected the ball just seconds before it connected with the side of Suga's head.

Taking in a startled breath, the setter looked up shaken and immediately found his eyes locking with a large player on the other side of the net. The black haired boy wore a smile dripping poison, giving a wave as he walked backward to return to his place on the left side of the court.

"Sorry about that, guess I don't know my own strength." He purred.

The blood in Suga's veins turned to ice as the other boy held his gaze, unable to breathe, but incapable of looking away.

"Damn, nice save! That was badass!" Tanaka crowed, running over to them and slapping the captain on the back with vigor.

"Ouch- Thanks. Now get your butt back on the court, we've got to-"

"That was intentional."

An even voice spoke above Daichi's, cutting him off and resulting in everyone turning to search for the speaker. There were more than a couple people surprised to find it was none other than Tsukishima. Facing the opposing team, the stoic first year's attention was directed at Kita Wasaki's number four.

Furrowing his brow as a hand came to rest on his hip, Daichi addressed his underclassman.

"What's that, Tsukishima?"

"I said that spike was aimed to hit Sugawara. I was watching, number four had every intention of sending that ball at Hinata, he's screwed up every receive in this match so far."

"Not every receive!" Hinata retorted angrily.

"Shut up, moron. I watched him take aim at Hinata, but then at the last second, it changed. The direction he was looking shifted right before he hit it, he was looking at Sugawara."

A hoard of angry eyes bore down on the massive wing spiker who didn't look the least bit concerned, as the stunned setter felt a chill run down his spine. Hadn't they had their fill of tormenting him? Clearly he was licking his wounds as he practically crawled back into the gymnasium, what more could the jerk want?

Even the faces of the players from the other team looked to their number four, another large boy with tied back, long, blond hair speaking up, his face filled with weary irritation.

"Is that true? Were you aiming for that guy, Kanda?"

"Thanks for the compliment, four eyes, but not even I can change the direction of a spike that quick. It was an accident, Fujimori. I said I was sorry." He grinned lightly, turning his hands to the sky as he shrugged.

"It wasn't an accident. You were perfectly lined up to smash that through our blockers, you chose to hit it out of bounds instead."

Kageyama stood with his chin tilted up slightly, narrowed eyes looking down his nose at the opposing player.

"You bastard! Why are you targeting Suga?!" Noya yelled, stomping across the wooden floor intent on vengeance, only halting as a large arm was thrust in his way, an unyielding hand landing firmly in the center of his chest.

"Let go Asahi, that guy needs his face rearranged! The rest of you cowards might be too afraid to do it, but I'm not!"

The Ace didn't reply as his stare remained fixated on Kanda from Kita Wasaki, but his brows were drawn down creating a stormy silent glower that even brought pause to the fearless bristling libero.

Suddenly a shrill whistle rang through the air and one of the refs pointed a finger directly at Nishinoya.

"That's a warning. Another outburst and you'll be disqualified."

Flaring up in indignation, Noya clenched his fists prepared to argue.

"But-!"

"Noya, can it! Get back in position and let it go. Now."

Daichi's voice held all the authority of a captain as he commanded his teammate from the side lines, pointing to the spot where Noya should be, his direction irrefutable.

"If you get kicked out of this match and we have to play without you, there's going to be hell to pay, got it?"

Reluctantly seeing the logic in Daichi's words, Noya bit his tongue with a growl, but conceded and went silent. As he turned to walk to the back of the court, his face matched Asahi's, quiet but storming.

Still staring and frozen in place, Sugawara cringed violently as a hand settled on his back, nearly dropping the bag of ice as he hastily turned to find Daichi looking at him with a steady gaze.

"Hey, everything's okay, breathe. I'm not going to let him hurt you or anyone else, promise." Daichi said, voice low and filled with reassurance.

Not realizing his hands had begun to tremble at some point, Suga clenched them tight and responded with a small nod. He wanted to say something, show he wasn't some scared wounded animal, but he was too busy wondering why he was so worked up. Of course getting your ass kicked and thrown into a closet was hardly anyone's idea of fun, but it wasn't the prospect of being punched again, that had Suga's hands shaking... It was the knowing look in Kanda's eyes, and an expression that said he could see the inner turmoil that raged in Suga's heart. He could clearly read the shame and embarrassment that now took up residence in his mind, and he held that over the sliver haired setter with obvious triumph.

It was one thing to have your insecurities and short comings privately thrown in your face, but it was a whole different story to have them announced to your entire team. He couldn't stand the thought of his teammates discussing the extent of his uselessness, what if they realized just how much they didn't need him? How could he justify staying on the team if the respect they had for him turned to pity? Sugawara was a lot of things, a bench warmer, and a thrown away setter, but he wasn't a charity case.

"Um... Sugawara? You don't look so good, should we go back to the infirmary?"

Suga blinked as he looked down to Yachi standing beside him with a nervous hand clenched beneath her chin, her brown eyes filled with concern.

It took a second for him to compose himself, but he shook his head and averted his gaze from both her and Daichi, unable to stop himself from peering at Kanda. Swallowing thickly, he saw that the black haired boy was looking right at him, a predator like smile still in place.

"Uh... No. I just need to sit down." He murmured, tearing his eyes away from the much larger player, and finally continuing to walk to where the rest of his team waited.