Brendon didn't like being under the eyes of his classmates. The only thing that seemed to make it better was when Ryan would squeeze his hand to gain his attention. He would offer a reassuring smile and shake a pompom to get Brendon to calm down and smile back.
Another thing he wasn't fond of was how sweaty his hand kept getting from being held for so long. Ryan would occasionally allow him to break their embrace to wipe his hand dry before clasping their hands back together again.
Ryan asked Brendon to wait outside the locker room after school while he changed so they could hold hands as they headed to the field. Since they had an hour before warm would officially start, Ryan pulled Brendon to the sidelines and they sat talking in the grass.
Soon enough, Brendon's hand was freed and he was sent to the bleachers with the rest of the fans. Ryan would send him frequent waves and smiles throughout his warm up. Brendon found himself getting excited for the game to start.
He never realized how amazing the soccer team was in a real game. It was intense and kept him on his feet cheering along with everyone else. Even if he had no one there beside him, he was enjoying him. Well he was enjoying himself until the whispers finally reached him.
"Yeah, I heard he was the one who got Ryan to dress up like a cheerleader." It took everything in Brendon to not turn around to see who was talking.
"Really? I don't understand how Ryan could be around him for so long. Just seeing him gets me annoyed." Brendon felt his excitement leave his body. He couldn't focus on the game. All he listened to were the two girl's behind him.
"Sophia said he bribed him into giving him his letterman jacket. Everyone knows Ryan never let's anyone wear that thing. He didn't even let Keltie wear it and they seemed pretty serious."
"Compared to all the other people, I thought he'd definitely make it official with her."
"If he didn't want her then there's no way he'd want this nobody. What's his name again?"
"Braden something, I think. I'm sure Ryan's just using him too. Little nerd getting the attention of a jock. I bet he'd do anything Ryan asked him to."
"It won't last long. Ryan will be chasing after a few others before he graduates. There's no doubt about that." Brendon sunk down to his seat, hearing nothing now but the girls' teasing laughs. He suddenly felt uncomfortable in the jacket. He lowered his head and wished the game to be over so he could go home.
After a painfully long half hour, Brendon was waiting beside Ryan's truck. He didn't even know if the team won, all he knew was Ryan wanted him to wait while he changed.
"Hey, Bren." Brendon forced a smile when Ryan called him. "Did you enjoy the game?" Brendon nodded quickly, keeping his lips sealed. "Wanna grab a bite to eat?"
"I'm actually not feeling well. I just wanna go home and rest up."
"Oh. Are you okay?" Brendon nodded and pulled the passenger door open.
"Yeah, just tired."
"Alright. Let me take you home." They rode in silence, Ryan occasionally looking over at Brendon with concern. Brendon leaned his head on the window, keeping his gaze out at the passing houses. Ryan pulled up to the house and went to help Brendon out of the car.
"I'm okay," Brendon protested. Ryan kept a steady hand on the other's waist.
"You said you weren't feeling well. I don't want you to pass out or something."
"I'm fine," he insisted. They stood in front of the door, but the interaction was a lot different than it was the previous night.
"You sure you're okay?" Brendon nodded, avoiding eye contact. "You can tell me if something's wrong." Brendon tugged at the sleeve of the jacket. He had a moment's thought to tell Ryan what he heard at the game but shut down the idea. Instead, Brendon shrugged off Ryan's jacket and held it out for him.
"Here you go." Ryan took a small step back and gave a little smile.
"Why don't you hold on to it for me." Brendon bit his lip and shook his head.
"I-I can't. It's yours. Just take it back. The deal's finished." Ryan grabbed Brendon's hand and gently pushed it back to his chest before pulling away.
"I heard it's gonna be cold tomorrow. Go ahead and wear it. It'll keep you warm." Brendon finally nodded, leaving them in an awkward silence.
"Goodnight," Brendon managed to say. He opened the door and hurried in.
"Brendon, wai-" the door slammed shut, leaving Ryan confused. He stared at the door before going back to his car. He didn't actually leave for another five minutes, trying to process why Brendon was acting so distant.
Brendon rushed to his room and threw the jacket in the closet. He collapsed on the bed and buried his face in his pillow. The idea that Ryan was just giving him attention only to use and leave him in the end left Brendon in tears. It was stupid and he knew it too. Crying over some play boy who he'll probably never see after graduation.
This waswas stupid. Since when did he even care what people thought anyway? But then again, since when did someone like Ryan come up to him and not expect something? Brendon was kidding himself thinking that someone like Ryan would truly care about someone like him. Like those girls said, there's no way Ryan would want a nobody.
He jumped when his phone went off. He wiped away his tears and looked at his phone.
Ryan: are you okay?
Brendon put his phone down, deciding against replying. Not even a couple minutes later, he got another text message.
Ryan: did I do something wrong?
Brendon silenced his phone and turned over in his bed. He scolded himself for being unable to control how he felt when it came to Ryan. He let himself get blinded by his charm so easily. Maybe if he just distanced himself, stop the dates and flirting, things will get better. He couldn't get hurt if he didn't give Ryan the chance to do so, right?
Ryan laid in his own bed, looking at the read mark from his text messages. He set his phone on his chest, staring into to the dark toward the ceiling. He was racking his brain on where things went wrong at the game. What happened to Brendon?
