A Solace for Scars

two

Pinagmasdan kong bumaba ang driver na tila tulala pa. He's a guy... with a long hair. How could this asshole just park his car moments when I was about to take a step toward death?!

I sighed as I watched his every move. He stopped in front of the railings and it was as if he's preparing to jump.

I curiously walked up to him with a little fast pace habang nakatayo pa din sa railings.

“You want to die?” I asked. Napatingin ito sa akin. I couldn't see his face because it's dark, the headlight of his car is not focused on us. I bet he couldn't also see me, thank you for that. “Now?” I added, after whistling when I heard him cursed.

“Fuck, no!” he defensively said. “I would just rather jump off a high building than here.” It was a whisper but I heard it though. Sa tahimik na lugar na 'to kulang na lang pati paglakad ng langgam maririnig mo.

“What are you even doing there? Just one push, you will fall,” he stated.

I smiled at him and closed my eyes.

“I'm preparing to jump. You want to come with me?” I asked, glancing at the male stranger who seem like he wanted to jump too.

“Ano 'to? Jack and Rose? You jump, I'll jump?” Natatawa niyang sabi. But I knew better because he laughed so dryly.

It sounds like mine.

Happily dead.

I mean, fake happy dead.

I frowned at my thoughts. Ang sagwa talaga ng humor ko.

“You actually watched that? Saan nga 'yan galing? Titanium?” I asked, trying to remember where did I heard that movie. My former classmates often talk about them but I never really paid attention, even when there was a time they watched it when we made some research. That was a long time ago, anyway.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya nang marinig ko ang hagikgik nito, as if he heard someone spill a joke.

“Titanium? Really? Do you even watch movies?” He asked, voice lace of something happiness.

I slowly sat down on the railings and glance at him a little, shoulder slumped as sadness dripped rapidly on my throat.

“I don't really give a damn about fictious movies. I mean, I have mine to be cringed about,” I said, as a matter of fact.

“The only fictions in every movies is the characters but the lesson and such isn't. Seriously, have you ever watched one?” He asked, placing his hands on the railings, probably eyes focused on the calm river beneath us.

I remaind silent. Realizing how fast everything had happened. I am just one step towards death. Almost. Huminga ako ng malalim ng mapagtanto na sa tuwing nagkakaroon ako ng lakas ng loob iwan ang pamumuhay bilang tao at maging immortal, laging may taong humahadlang.

Hindi ko pa ba nalalandi si Kamatayan ng tuluyan?

“Hey,” Naramdaman ko ang pagtapik nito sa balikat ko. “Natahimik ka?”

“I don't know...” I replied to his question awhile ago. “Hindi ko maalala kung nakapanood ba ako ng movie or tv... Is it necessary?”

Tumingin ako sa kaniya. Malumanay na ang tinig ko ngayon, hindi tulad kanina na masyadong mataas ang energy at akala mo handang makipag-away. Ewan, ang bilis lang magbago ng emosyon. Dahil siguro unstable din ang takbo ng utak ko.

“Wow, you never did and yet you're planning to die?” Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. “You tasted all the despair and you never tried to pull your feet to have a taste of happiness?”