daddy issues | 2jin

𝟷𝟺_[𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔 𝚞𝚙𝚜]

Kim_[Hyunjin]

Putting down my pencil, a swish my chair around to face her. She looked anxious, scared almost.

"I love you too," I responded.

Almost immediately, I saw her face light up. The same smile that she barely showed was present.

"You're my bestfriend after all, why wouldn't I love you?" I said.

It didn't even take a second for that look of pure joy to be wiped off her face. It hurt seeing it fade. But I can't lie to her and make her think we'd ever work out.

I know I'll just find a way to mess it up. I've done it for ever relationship so far, I couldn't do it to her. Someone was bound to end up hurt, so why waste both of our time. She deserves someone that can treat her right, and I'm not that person. 

"That's not what I m-" Heejin started to say.

"Don't finish," I interrupt. "Please don't finish."

There was no way I'd let her finish the sentence. I knew she'd regret it if she did, and I didn't want her to regret it.

"Go to sleep, it's late," I said, turning around again.

"Hyun-" Heejin started to say.

"Please?" I begged.

Silence. Then soft footsteps that trailed further and further away.

Maybe one day I'd be ready to love someone again. But I don't know how to trust myself, or anyone else. I'm protecting both of us from the pain of the future this way.

Jeon_[Heejin]

She wasn't mean or rude about it, and that's what sucks the most. I wanted to be upset, but I couldn't. So I laid awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering why I always ended up alone.

No matter how hard I try, nothing would ever go my way. Turning onto my side, I face her back, feeling like I just fucked up the only real friendship I ever had.

It's fine. I'll wait until she's ready, or I lose hope.

The next day during lunch, I waited at the same spot we always ate. Nobody came, even after waiting for over an hour.

(__)
   dumb-jin  〉

(where are you??>
(hellooooo???>
read

<can't make it)

(Oh>
(That's okay>
(See you tonight?>

<can't I'm busy)
<next time, okay?)

But we always go out on Fridays |
But we always go out on Fr |
But we always go out |
But we alw |
Bu |

(It's okay Ik you're busy>
read

The campus was filled with groups of friends and different pairs of people eating lunch and just hanging around. And then there was me, eating all by myself. It was lonely to say the least. Everyone on the campus looked like they were have a good time, all except for me.