Ecstasy within Notes

How much do you know?

It is now September.

I leave in two days to start my college life, not going to lie, my mind is scattered from fear. My parents told me I will overcome any obstacle that comes to me, honestly I know that but, all I feel is fear. Is it not normal to feel it when I'm moving out? They make it seem as if I know everything and I just wanted to be a kid forever.

"Hey Astor, how many more boxes do you have to put away?" dad says walking into my room.

"Only two left." I get up putting tape on the rest, setting them on my bed that lies as just a mattress.

"Okay, let me take them to your car, tonight you can do whatever you want. Have a gathering, party, throwdown, whatever it is you kids call it these days."

I burst out laughing "How about this, we play music for an hour or two how we used to when I was little, mom can watch us and cheer us on?" I make a pouty face at him.

"That is perfectly okay, meet me downstairs whenever you're ready baby girl."

I nod and walk beside my dad, we make small talk until we get downstairs. I get my cello out waiting on him to come back so he can set up as well. My mom comes down shortly after, before I hear her footsteps I know it is her because of the smell 'gingham' from bath and body works. Oh, how I'll miss being here everyday. But hey, this is a sign that my parents raised me well, I'm mentally and financially stable enough to be on my own for the next four years of college. My mom sits on the couch facing my direction and gives me a look of certainty. Dad sets up his cello, shouts out Viva La Vida, counts down and we begin.

I play with the best passion I have ever had. My mom records us as the intensity builds up in a giggling fever. After the song ends, dad and I put our bows in the air and make lightsaber noises.

"Next song, I Write Sins Not Tragedies!" I whine.

"Fine, that is all though because you know I do not really favor Brendon Urie." He begins to start but I stop him.

"Wait. How much do you know?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Of what?" A look of seriousness comes on his face as he sits up even straighter than he was.

"Brendon Urie, Panic! At the Disco. How many songs do you know? You don't listen to them and I bet ten out of ten you would love it." I smile

He inhales deeply, " Well, while you're away I will attempt a song a day, keep a journal and tell you all about if I like them or not, deal?"

"Alright, that's pretty fair." We begin playing and the pizzicatos are graceful, more graceful than your grandmas cooking on a Sunday evening after church. Brendon Urie is one of my favorite artists, his falsettos are gorgeous, can you imagine having a vocal range that high?

Once the song is over, I pack my things away into my case and head upstairs into my now empty room. All I see is the interior in the perimeter, it makes me sad and happy. Bittersweet is the word I'm looking for. I'm very proud of myself. Onto another day.