BLACK MONEY LOVE

Chapter 8

Because she'd been certain she would never sleep away from home,in a hotel bed,Roma was surprised to wake up to full  sunlight. Not only had she slept, she realized, she'd slept like a baby for eight hours and rested and ready to go. True, it was just a little past six, and she had no business to run to, but her body was turned to wake at that hour. A trip to Acapulco didn't change that.
It  had changed other things, she reminded herself as she stretched out in the too-big bed. Because of it, she'd become inescapably tangled in murder and smuggling. Putting the words together made her shake her head. In a movie, she might have enjoyed watching the melodrama. In a book, she'd have turned the pages to read more. But in her own life. For better or worse, she was personally involved in this melodrama. This included Zack Alpha. The only question now was which course of action to take.
She couldn't run. That had never been a choice. Roma had already concluded she couldn't hide behind Morales and his men forever. Sooner or later the man with the knife would come back,or another more determined or more desperate. She wouldn't escape the second time. The moment she'd looked into the safe-deposit, she'd become a fully-fledged player in the game. She had no choice but to put her trust in him now. If he were to give up on his brother's murder and return to Philadelphia she would be that much more alone. However much she might wish it otherwise,Roma needed him just as much as he needed her.
Other things had changed, she thought. Her feelings for him were even more undefined and confusing than they had started out to be. Seeing him as she had the evening before, hurt and vulnerable, had touched off more than impersonal sympathy or physical attraction. He suffered, for his brother's loss, but also for what his brother had done. She'd loved once, and had suffered, not only because of loss but because of disillusionment.
Zack heard her the moment she got up. He'd been awake since five, restless and prowling. For over an hour he'd been racking his brain and searching his conscience for a way to ease Roma out of a situation his brother, and he himself had locked her into. He'd already thought of several ways to draw attention away from her to himself, but that wouldn't guarantee Roma's safety.  She wouldn't go to Houston, and he understood her feelings about endangering her daughter's life in any way.
As the days passed,he felt he was coming to understand her better and better.  She was a loner, but only because she saw it as the safest route. She was a businesswoman, but only because she looked to her daughter's welfare first. Inside,he thought, she was a woman with dreams on hold and love held in bondage. She had steered both toward her child and denied herself. And, Zack added, she'd convinced herself she was content.
Once he'd done what he'd come to do,he could he go to Lancaster himself. He'd like Roma to go with him. See the surroundings he was used to. He wanted time to talk to her about simple things. He wanted to hear hear her laugh again,as she had only once in all the days he'd know her. Once they were there, away from the ugliness,he might understand his feeling better. Perhaps by then he'd be able to analyze what had happened inside him when she'd pressed her cheek against his and had offered unconditional support.
He'd wanted to hold on to her. There was something about her that made him think of lazy evenings. He couldn't say why. She remained a mystery to him, and perhaps that was an answer in itself. If he thought about her too often, she deeply,it was only because while his understanding was growing,he still knew so little. How could he take his mind off one without taking his mind of the other? Yet when he thought of her now,he thought of her stretched out on his mother's porch swing, safe, content and waiting for him.
Annoyed with himself, Zack checked his watch. It was after nine on the East coast. He'd called his office, he thought. A few legal problems might clear his mind. He'd no more than picked up the receiver when Roma came out from her bedroom.
" Roma, when we are done with all this, when it's behind us, will you tell me about that part of your life?"
She turned to him, away from the window, but they both felt the distance." When we're finished with this, there won't be any reason to."
He rose and came to her. In a gesture that took her completely by surprise,he took both of her hands. He lifted one,then the other, to his lips and watched her eyes." I can't be sure of that," he murmured." Can you?"
She couldn't be sure of anything when his voice was quite,his hands gentle. For a moment, she simply absorbed the feeling of being a woman cared for by a man. Then stepped back,as she knew she had to." Zack,you told me once had the same problem. I didn't want to believe it then, but it was true. It is true. Once that problem is solved, there really isn't anything else between us. Your life and my life are separated by a lot more than miles."
He thought of his house and his sudden need to share it."They don't have to be."
" There was a time I might have believed that."
" Your living in the past." He took her shoulders, but this time his hands weren't gentle." You're fighting ghosts."
" I may have ghosts but I don't live in the past. I can't afford to." She put her hands to his wrist, but let them lie there only a moment before she let go." I can't afford to pretend to myself about you."
He wanted to demand,he wanted to pull her with him to the sofa  and prove to her that she was wrong. He resisted. It wasn't the first time he'd used courtroom skills, courtroom tactics to win on personal level." We'll leave it your way for now," he said easily.
" But the case isn't closed. Are you hungry?"
Unsure whether she should be uneasy or relieved,Roma nodded.
" A little."
" Let's have breakfast. We've got plenty of time before the plane leaves."