BLACK MONEY LOVE

Chapter 11

Every morning when Roma awoke she was certain captain Morales would call to tell her it was all over. Every night when she closed her eyes, she was certain it was only a matter of one more day. Time went on.
Every morning when Roma awoke she was certain Zack would tell her he had to leave. Every night when she slept in his arms, she was certain it was the last time. He stayed.
For over ten years her life had had a certain purpose. Success. She'd started the struggle towards it in order to survive and to provide for her child. Somewhere along the way she'd learned the satisfaction of being in her own and making it work. It had been barely a month since Zack had walked into her house and her life. Since that time the straight road she had followed had forked. Ignoring the changes hadn't helped, fighting them hadn't worked. Now it no longer seemed she had the choice of which part to follow.
Because she had to hold on to something, she worked every day, keeping stubbornly to her old routine. It was the only aspect of her life that she could be certain she could control. Zack had taken the fabric of her life, plucked at a few threads and changed everything. Roma had come to the point that she could admit nothing would ever be quite the same again, but she had yet to come to the point that she knew what to do about it. When he left,as she knew he would, she would have to learn all over again how to suppress longings and black out dreams.
They would find Jerry Alpha's killer. They would find the man with the knife. If she hadn't believed that, Roma would never have gone on day after day. But after the danger was over, after all questions were answered, her life would never be as it had been. Zack had woven himself into it. When he went away,he'd leave a hole behind that would take all her will to mend.
Her life had been torn before. Roma could comfort herself that she had put it together again. The shape had been different, the texture had changed, but she had put it together. She could do so again. She would have to.
There were times when she lay in bed in the dark,in the early hours of the morning, restless, afraid she would have to begin those repair before she was strong enough.
Zack could feel her shift beside him. He'd come to understand she hardly slept peacefully. Or she no longer slept peacefully. He wished she would lean on him, but knew she never would. Her Independence was too vital, and opposing, her insecurity was too deep to allow her to admit a need for another. Even the sharing of a burden was difficult for her. He wanted to soothe. Through his adult life, Zack had carefully chosen companions who had no problems, required no advise,no comfort,no support. A woman who required such things required an emotional attachment he had never been willing to make. He wasn't a selfish man, simply a cautious one. Through his youth, and through most of his adult life,he'd picked up the pieces his brother had scattered.
Now he was drawing closer to a woman who elicited pure emotion,then tried to deflect it. He was falling in love with a woman who needed him but refused to admit it. She was strong and had both the intelligence and the will to take care of herself. And she had eyes so soft, so haunted, that a man would risk anything to protect her from any more pain.
She had completely changed his life. She had altered the simple, tidy pattern he'd been weaving for himself. He needed to soothe, to protect, to share. There was nothing he could do to change that. Whenever he touched her, he came closer to admitting there was nothing he would do.
Beside him was a woman whose body was slim and restless. Her hair spread over her pillow and onto his, carrying no more fragrance than wind and water. As she tossed in sleep,he drew her closer. Her muscles were tense,as though she were prepared to reject the gift of comfort even before it was offered. Slowly,as her breath whispered at his throat,he began to massage her shoulders. Strong shoulders, soft skin. He found the combination irresistible. She murmured, shifting towards him, but he didn't know if it was acceptance or request. It didn't matter.
She felt so good there; she felt right there. All questions,all doubt could wait for the sunrise. He touched his mouth lightly, ever so lightly, to hers.
She sighed, but it was only a whisper of a sound---a sign in sleep as her body relaxed against his. If she dreamed now, she dreamed of easy things,calm water, soft grass. He trailed a hand down her back, exploring the shape of her. Long,lean, slender and strong. He felt his own body warm and pulse. Passion, still sleepy, began to stir. She seemed to wake up in stages. First her skin,then blood,then muscle by muscle. Her body was alert and throbbing before her mind raced join in it. She found herself wrapped around Zack, already aroused, already hungry. When his mouth came to hers again, she answered him.
There was no hesitation in her this time,no moment of doubt before desire overwhelmed reason. She wanted to give herself to him as fully as it was possible to give. It wouldn't be wise to speak her feelings out loud. It couldn't be safe tell him with words that her heart was stripped of defenses and open for him. But she could show him, and by doing so give them both the pleasure of love without restrictions.
Her arms tightened around him as her mouth roamed madly over his. She drew bottom lip inside the heat, inside the moistness of her mouth and nibbled, sucked until his breath came fast and erratic. She felt the abrupt tension as his body pressed against hers and realized he,too, could be seduced. He,too, could be aroused beyond reason. And she realized with a head sort of wonder that she could be the seducer, she could arouse.
She shifted her body under his, tentatively, but with a slow rhythm that had him murmuring her name and gasping for control. Instinctively she sought out vulnerabilities, finding them one by one, learning from them, taking from them. Her tongue flicked over his throat, seeking then enjoying the subtle, distinct taste of a man. His pulse was wild there,as wild as hers. She shifted again until she lay across him and his body was hers for the taking.
Her hands were inexperienced so that her stroking was soft and hesitant. It drove him mad. No one had ever been so sweetly determined to bring him pleasure. She pressed kisses over his chest, slowly, experimentally,then she rubbed her cheek over his skin so that the touch both soothed and excited.
His body was on fire,yet it seemed to float free so that he could feel the passage of air breath cool over his flesh. She touched and the heat spread like brushfire. She tasted and the moistness from her lips was like the whisper of a night breeze, cooling, calming.
"Tell me what you want." She looked up and her eyes were luminous in the moonlight, dark and beautiful." Tell me what to do."
It was almost more than he could bear, the purity of the request, the willingness to give. He reached up so that his hands were lost in her hair. He could have kept her there forever, arched above him with her skin glowing gold in the thin light, her hair falling pale over her shoulder, her eyes shimmering with need. He drew her down until their lips met again. Hunger exploded between them. She didn't need to be told, she didn't need to be taught. Her body took over so that her own desire drove them both.
Zack couldn't think, but he could feel. Until that moment, he wouldn't have believed it was possible to feel so much so intensely. Sensations racked him, building and building and threatening to explode until the only sound he could hear was the roar of his own heart inside his head. With his eyes half opened he could see her above him,naked and glorious in the moonlight. And when she plunged him beyond sensation, beyond sight and reason,he could still see her. He always would.