Restart: The Deal that Seemed Great

Hazel the Coward

Myler just stood there not fully understanding the true extent of the stare down me and Alice was having. I looked between the two and I started to walk up to her with my hands out, "Alice I---"

"Shut the fuck up." She yelled at me as she stomped her way closer to me. I knew what was going to happen, but I still couldn't prepare myself for what was to come. I lifted my hands in preparation for the impact.

She grabbed my hands and shoved them away from my face, slapped me right across the face making me drop to the floor. She went down with me.

She slapped me left and right calling me a bitch. I didn't do anything, I let her hit me. I have lost the will to do anything at this point. My eyes closed taking every sting of pain that came across my cheeks. My hands fell off her wrist and fell to the ground as she sat on top of me hitting me, letting out her rage.

I had my eyes closed so it was only me and Grim in my mind, I looked up at Grim as it floated towards me. "Hazel I know you don't want this." I heard Grim's voice say to me.

I covered my face and dropped to my knees as I curled myself into a ball. I started to wale, "I give up my pet, no matter what I do I can't change my fate at all." Tears streaming down as I remembered how enthusiastic I was in getting this new life, a new start. I was prepared for this event, I thought I did all I can to avoid it, but I guess I didn't.

My new life is all up in flames now, actually it's not even a new life it is the same exact one. I am reliving my previous life a second time. Ha some luck I have.

Grim landed its fluffy body on my hunched over back, "Yes you can" it whispered.

"No" I managed to say through my cries.

It said, "Yes" crawling closer to my ears this time.

I flung my body upright launching Grim off my back in the process as I turned around, stomping to Grim and yelling at its face, "No I can't so just stop talking to me."

Grim grew red, just like that other time and flew into my face and pointed me in between my eyes with his small hand and with a truly pissed off face, "Fine be worthless. Waste this life I gave you. I thought you were a girl who had the will power to change and make your own life better. But I guess I was wrong." Grim disappeared.

I opened my eyes just as Alice slapped me once again. Everything Grim said to me ranged in my head.

"Worthless." This word repeated itself in my head like a broken radio. This made me furious, not so much the word but who said that word. I am not going to let my fluff ball pet call ME worthless. Especially if my pet has powers to do who knows what.

But right now, do I even have the right to even get mad at Grim when he is right. No fuck that, Grim is my pet and I need to show him who's the boss. This isn't Hazel. Hazel would never let this literal second chance in life go to waste. Stand the fuck up and do something with it you coward.

I grabbed Alice's hands and looked into her eyes. I stiffened when I saw she was crying but, there was an underlying feeling with these tears.

I flipped us over, so I was now on top of her this time, "Alice listen to me." I yelled at her with a serious face.

She was trying to free herself form my grip, but I made sure to keep a tight hold on her. "No, I will never." Her voice cracked, "You betrayed me how am I supposed to listen to you."

"No Alice it really isn't what it looks like please trust me." I said trying my best to also hold back my tears.

She turned her face away from me as she continued to try and shove me away, "No not after you tried to manipulate my feelings just to reassure your spot in Myler's heart."

"No Alice."

"Don't say my name." she finally turned to me and said with eyes full of hatred.

"Alice" I said.

Her body was shaking now, not struggling too much now as she said "Shut up" lightly, tears falling from her eye's life a waterfall.

I wanted to let go, but I knew she was going to run away just like in my previous life and she will avoid me in any way possible. I didn't even get the chance to talk to her then.

So, I must keep her here and resolve this now or it may just be a replay of my other life. "No, I will not shut up. Trust me I don't like Myler." I said to her resting my forehead on her chest. I whispered to her "please trust me Alice."

I started to loosen my grip on her wrist as I gripped her shirt trying to get her to listen to me, "And how can I be so sure of this traitor." She said to me as I felt her head turn to look down at me.

I lifted my head up a little to look at her, "Cause..." Suddenly, my heart started to beat excruciatingly fast and my face was completely flushed. "I...um no never mind." I said not ready to let the cat out the bag.

She pushed me and had me falling on to the ground and off her. Alice stood up and walked away, "Then I guess this is the end of our friendship. Bye Hazel." I watched her slowly walk away.

I heart fell; this feeling was so much more painful then how it was before. Hazel I thought you said you weren't going to be a coward anymore. Well look now, all I can see is a huge ass COWARD.

I shook my head as all reasoning left me. I got up and off the floor and ran to her.

Once I caught up with her, I turned her around and kissed her. I held that kiss as Alice was too shocked to resist now. I don't know what I was doing but I deepened the kiss, letting my past self with experience take over for a little bit. But I quickly snapped out of it and I let go of the kiss as I looked into Alice's eyes, "You have to listen to me, I don't like Myler because I am gay Alice. Alice, I am a lesbian and only have feelings for girls."

Alice just stared at me blankly.

She finally came back to reality as her face became red, "Do you like me Hazel?"

I took a step back as I sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck, "Oh um no... I don't but I thought kissing you would be the only way to show that I only like gi---" She slapped me and ran away.

Once again, my heart dropped as she must have rejected my true self. Tears fell as I knew revealing my true self would result in this

"Hey...um Hazel you ok?" Myler asked putting a hand on my shoulder. I reacted out to clean my face up from my tears as I glared at him and ran out of school for the day.