Loop of Hearts

Chapter 4

I reach my home, open the front door and I walk inside. I put my shoes in the shoe rack and I quickly climb the stairs to go to my room, "Honey, why are you late today?"  Mom calls out from the kitchen, "I was helping Tadashi with some paperwork." I reply, "Mum, I'm a little busy so I'll be in my room." I close the door behind me. Like I said, I have been keeping a journal of the things that happen or to be precise things that I notice, and I took down notes of what happened before the restart, in case I forget over time. When the notes of the moments that happened before the restart where carefully analysed, I came across something quite strange, well I came across a couple of strange things but let's start with this one because it was the first occurrence.

I had to dig up an old white board from the store room to write down and work things out easily. I take a pen and concentrate on the board, "if I remember the way I reacted when the seat number changed, at the time before restarting, then it doesn't add up." I remember myself thinking this and it sounds strange because I remember what happened. According to my present memory I remember the moments before restarting but in that memory when the seat number changed I wasn't fully aware of the restart that occurred, I didn't know that I had gotten a different seat number before getting A4, but on the other hand I remembered what happened at the P.E. even though I got restarted. That means my memory was restarted the first time but stayed intact from the second onwards and the question remains, why? Why was only that memory wiped out at the time of restart? No matter how many times I have thought about it, the answer is still not clear. I probably should leave that part aside and focus on other stuff. I  write the word 'later' on the board across that topic.

Now I wonder why this is even happening but I don't have much information on that topic till now, so I'm going to have to include it in the 'later' category for now. I'm a little worried about that very matter but it can't be helped since the time I spend is very important and to why is it important? The reason is quite simple. The day to which I got restarted, the first day of school to be precise, I was checking to see if I had really gone back in time, so I checked the calendar, the digital clock and I checked my notes. The clock and calendar were showing that I actually had went back in time and the notes were blank. That's right, they were blank. This means that no matter how much I write up and spend time on writing something it just goes back to how it was before.

So I'm stupid? So that means writing the journal is basically meaningless and too much work.  But still it provides information that I might've forgotten and could be vital in some cases. So though it takes time I'd still write but it will go back in time when I get restarted. The thing is that I get restarted but I don't know if anyone else does too, I just didn't ask since I thought I might come out as a weirdo if I just went around asking and another thing is that I don't think that I'm going back in time instead I think my mind and memories are going back in time to my body but I'm still not fully sure about this, it's just a theory I made since currently according to my knowledge I went back in time but nothing else didn't. So I need to figure out a way to find if my body goes back in time, if so then I might age faster than others but I can only test if it restarts again. Man, I'm tired thinking about this, I should take some rest and think about this later. I haven't made much progress until now, I have to get more information.