ᵈⁱᵐᵖˡᵉˢ. || ⁿᵃᵐᵏᵒᵒᵏ

열넷

okay maybe i lied about this chapter containing taegi fluff. it may come sooner or later but I can't promise you guys though. sorry about the delayed update too. This will be on jungkook's pov. or mix with third person or whatever.

lowercase intended.

unedited. ⚠

I bit my lip as i reread the last message from namjoon hyung. it's been a day and i cant seem to brush it out of my thoughts. i know i can be a little bit of childish and overly excited. i was really worried for joon and i went frantic because i thought i said something wrong. i didn't mean to rush him but hearing it from him... it made my heart ache. it hurts, i didnt know i was annoying

'you are really annoying-'

i sighed deeply.

i decided to call my reliable hyung. whenever I was sad he was always just there. he knew how to cheer me up easily.
maybe because, he was my best friend. i clenched my hands on the mobile phone. i sighed again for the millionth time this day.

i went to the contacts and my fingers lingered above it for a few minutes deciding if i should call or not. i stare at the contact name and bit my lip,

hoseokie-hyung

before i know it, i hear the ringing of my phone and the voice of my hyung. i didnt know that i pressed the call button. well, there's no going back now.

"JEONGGUKKIE! I MISSED YOU~ WHY DID YOU CALL? "

i slightly smile at his overly cheerful voice. i chuckled at him and replied to him,

"why hyung? can't i call my best friend now? " i say with a teasing voice barely noticeable.

"Yah! You know i didn't mean it that way! "

i can already see the pout forming on his lips just by telling at his whiny voice. I laughed at that and rolled my eyes. Of course i knew but i love to tease my hyung.
Getting the response i expected made my grin wider.

"I know something is bothering you, my kookie is upset senses are tingling! Now listen here, tell hyung what got you so upset, hmm? Hyung will listen "

That made my smile slowly drop. I remember why i called him in the first place. The dull but painful sensation once again blooms in my chest. I couldn't do anything about it, it makes me want to scratch it out until i can't feel no pain.

"hyung..." 

i slightly whimper. it so overwhelming. maybe he never actually meant anything to namjoon maybe all those late night messages meant nothing. maybe because namjoon was just bored or wanted to forget something else. why is it so so so dreadful?
why do i feel like there's an empty hole on my chest. like a puzzle piece is harshly removed from me.

why?

who is namjoon to me anyways?

he was just a friend nothing really special.
heck! we even meet around a month ago but im so affected about something so small. it's so confusing, really.

is it because every time he speaks with him he feels so giddy?

is it because every time he wants them to get to know better he chickens out just because of those butterflies inside his stomach?

is it because  he knew namjoon had such a horrible experience through his past ? did he pity him? but why get so mad? why did he want to punch his ex so badly?

'fuck'

he thinks. he knows this feeling. he isn't stupid. he has fucking feelings for namjoon.

suddenly all his thoughts were swirling. it came to him all at once. he can't think properly.

'I need to breathe.'

i feel so light-headed this thoughts are overwhelming me.

i feel drowning. i can't move anything, I feel like my arms and legs are constricted. All I can think was that i need to breathe. I need to relax and calm down. I feel the tears that wants to fall so badly. i blink them away and notices the phone on my hand.

'shit! hoseok hyung!'

"hyung! this is so embarrassing! im so sorry i didn't mean to-"

"kook-ah, relax. it's okay, take your time no one is rushing you. Now, take a deep breath and calm down. I got all the time to listen to my dongsaeng. "

my heart swells up at his words. he always know what to say, im a bit envious. that isn't the matter now though. i bit my upper lip and did what my hyung said. i felt my tensed muscles relax. i took a quick sniff and proceeded to tell hoseok hyung everything.

"i think i have feelings for someone."

"oh? is that so? tell me more. "