Rampant: A Divergent FanFiction (Book Two) ©

Chapter 32

               “Ally, wait,” I called out as soon as I was within earshot.

               Before she’d managed to disappear into one of the many tunnels that led out of the Pit, I’d already leapt to my feet and had followed closely behind. She didn’t stop, or even slow down, though I knew she’d heard me. Shifting from a long-legged stride into a run, I was by her side in seconds.

               “Hey, stop, what’s wrong?” I asked again when she tried to go around me.

               “Nothing,” she lied, sniffling as she dashed the tears away from her face. “It’s not a big deal.”

               “Ally,” I coaxed, murmuring her name quietly. “Please, tell me what happened. Are you going to be okay?”

               Blinking up at me, I was again amazed at the fact that I could read her so easily. Though she’d already forced herself to stop crying, as I stared deeply into her eyes, I could practically see in real-time the way a vital wall within her broke and then rebuilt into something hard and unyielding.

               “No, I’m not going to be okay. I’m broken inside. I’m broken almost all the way down to my soul, and I don’t know if I can ever be unbroken, let alone whole again.”

               “Let me help you, just–”

               “You can’t, no one can. What just happened isn’t something that can be fixed,” she cut me off. “Sage, my mom died. She passed away and I wasn’t there for her. That’s all my dad came to say to me, and right now the guilt is eating me up inside. I should’ve been there for her, but I wasn’t. I just left.”

               “I-I’m sorry,” I said, dumfounded. What else could you say to something like that? “I’m so sorry.”

               She nodded, and I watched closely as she clenched her jaw and shoved her hands deep into her pockets. It was strange to see her this way; normally she was upbeat even in the worst of situations. I wanted to say more, to offer her sound advice, but that felt wrong. I myself hadn’t dealt well with loss -instead choosing to dive into the arms of alcohol and physical brutality- so how could I deem to tell her how to act?

               It was quiet, though I knew it was probably the stupidest thing I could do, I found myself crossing over to her. Wrapping my arms around her small form, we stayed in somber silence as the seconds ticked by. Ally continued to wipe at the remaining tears, and after a few moments she seemed to compose herself.

               “I’m tired of you seeing me this way,” she said softly, and I could just barely hear an edge of frustration in her voice.

               “What way?” I asked, pulling away so I’d be able to study her face.

               “Like this,” she frowned as she raised her hands up as if to say ‘look at me’ and then let out an angry breath of air. “Weak.”

               I couldn’t help myself then, I actually had to crack a smile, because that was the last word I would’ve ever associated with her. It was comical. True, though she was beautiful, that hadn’t been the reason I’d been immediately drawn to her. It was something deeper; it had been her inner strength, shining like a beacon through blanket of fog, which had managed to wake me up from my state of emotional disarray.

                No, not disarray, but a complete absences of it. I hadn’t been mentally present for the longest time, and when she’d arrived -her soul radiating energy- I’d been drawn in like a moth to a flame. Unknowingly, she’d brought be back from the brink of darkness, and for that I’d be eternally grateful.