Author's note: I've literally been writing this out in my head for so long, it's time to finally get it down on 'paper'. Enjoy!
"I was 5 years old the first time I saw one of...them. I had woken up earlier than everyone else. I decided to walk out by the fields where we grew our crops and play with my doll. As I was playing, I heard a noise coming from the woods. I was scared, but my childhood curiosity got the best of me and I went out to investigate. I walked through the trees until I came upon a small clearing. I saw two adult men standing there. I knew who they were, so I wasn't scared. I took in a breath to say something, then they kissed! I let out the breath I was holding and they looked over to me. I was about to run away when one of them starting talking. 'Hi, Honeymaren. It's me, you know me. Can you please not say a word about this to anyone?' He handed me some sweet fruit in order to convince me I guess. I grabbed the fruit, but didn't say anything. I walked away, and I promised myself that I would never say a word. Even though I was young, somewhere in my heart I still knew what they were doing was wrong. But I knew them, they were my friends. I didn't want to hurt them. I got to see them many times after that, and I never said a word. They were 'best friends' up until they passed away a few years ago. Still, I have never and will never tell their secret.
It would be a few years before I had another encounter with...that kind. I was around 9 years old, and she was about 11. I thought she was so cool. A little ways away from my family tent was a sheltered path away from the village where not many people would walk. Next to that path was a large stack of sticks, where young me would sit. I was sitting there one day when this girl walks by. I had seen her around the village before. She was a very quiet girl, and she wore her hair in two braids. I saw her walking down the path and decided to try and talk to her. She was an older girl, and I admired her maturity. I walked down the path with her, and even managed to make her laugh. I was very proud of myself. I was only 9 years old, but I got a shy older girl to laugh and open up to me. I thought she was so cool. Every day after that I would wait on that pile of sticks for her and tell her a joke before she continued walking down the path. Until one fateful day. I was sitting on my pile of sticks as usual, when I heard the girl talking and laughing with somebody. I couldn't tell who the other voice was, but I decided to hide behind the pile of sticks to see. As I peered out from behind it, I saw the quiet girl walking with a different girl from the village. She was the complete opposite of her. She had short hair, and was always very loud and talkative. I already didn't like her. As they walked closer towards the village, their voices softened until they were whispering to each other. When they were close to my pile of sticks, the loud girl whispered something to the other, which caused her to blush. She looked around the path before turning back to the loud girl. 'Alright,' she said, 'But make sure no one sees us.' And right there, in the middle of the path, they kissed. Then just walked along the trail as if nothing happened. I. Was. Furious. Who was this girl? What was her right to steal another girl's friend! I talked to her first, and this girl stole her away from me! I vowed right then and there, that I would never ever tolerate...those kinds of people. I never talked to those girls ever again. I saw them around the village of course, but I would only glare at them. I didn't wait by the stick pile either, obviously. They didn't seem to care though, which of course only ticked me off to no end.
The last, most recent encounter with...you know what was when I was 16. I had befriended this girl who wasn't very popular. I had no idea why at the time though, because she was really pretty. She had curly hair, and was actually really funny. But, as me and her became better friends, my other friends became more and more concerned about me. Apparently, there were rumors that she was...that type of girl. I ignored it though. She was my friend, and I didn't have any reason to doubt her. Besides, I kind of liked hanging out with her more than my own friends. Of course, sometimes rumors do turn out to be true, which I realized one day when we were sitting around a fire together. The sun was starting to go down, so me and her were sitting around one of the fire pits in blankets. We were just wrapping up our conversation. We had just said our goodnights, when she leaned over and pecked me on the cheek. I was in shock, but I didn't run away immediately. That was my mistake, as I heard a couple gasps from nearby. I turned around and saw a couple of my other friends standing there. 'You're just like-like her!' Someone said. I quickly jumped up. 'I'm not, guys. I'm not!' They started to walk away so I quickly grabbed my blanket and tried to run after them. I only looked back once. The last thing I saw of her was her crying and walking to her tent. I obviously didn't talk to her after that. I tried to separate from her as much as possible. I had to prove to my friends that I wasn't..like that. I was bullied for about 2 weeks, until one morning; I woke up, walked outside and, in front of everyone, kissed the first guy that I saw. That move finally convinced them, and I was left alone. Later privately, that guy confessed his crush on me and became my first official boyfriend, so I guess the situation worked in my favor. My ex-friend lived her days out as a hermit after that. Most people didn't talk to her, and she never made an effort to talk to everyone else. I don't see her much, but whenever I do, it's very awkward. I should try and make an effort to talk to her, she was a good friend before...all that after all."
I closed my journal and took a moment to take in my surroundings. I was so absorbed into what I was writing that I barely even noticed what was going on around me. Not that much was going on. It was a quiet day by the lake, and I was sitting in the crook of this crooked tree by the water. I heard some noise behind me, and I saw girl walk out of the woods. Not just any girl, though. Speak of the devil, it was my old friend from my teenage years.
"Hey, I remember this place." She said.
"You do?"
"Yeah, this is your 'special place' isn't it? You used to come her whenever you were sad or confused or frustrated or whatever, right?"
"Haha, yeah. I'm surprised you remembered that."
"I bet you came here a lot, huh."
"What do you mean?"
"Because you're gay."
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Heart of Ice [Elsamaren]
FanfictionThe Northuldra aren't accepting of gay people. What is Honeymaren supposed to do when she starts having some unusual feelings? I never see any Elsamaren stories from Honeymaren's perspective, so here's one. *I don't own these characters, and the vie...