Colourless

Chapter 50

Memories are not always meant to be held close. But that is what they do, pull you closer when all you want is to let go.

Xile Auroralis, the single most important day in the year. Everyone above 10 who had their colours, were gathered near the riverbank in thousands, serene smiles on their faces and a spiritual glow in their eyes. They are going to pray to the river, the source of our life. But I am not supposed to go, not supposed to step out from my hiding place.

I watched as mom, dad, Skye and Kayden walked at the bank. Kayden turned around, scanning the trees where I was hiding. I caught his eyes and he blinked, a different smile on his face, the smile that moans at my pain. I looked away from him and whipped my moistened eyes with the back of my hand roughly. I can afford to cry and make any noise here.

A sudden laughter reached my ears and I scanned the area for the familiar voice, from behind the trees that allowed limited view. Thane, Maven, Banno and Valina skipped around in the field, threading between the trees.

My heart ached at the sight. Thane circled a tree with his arm and swung around it. Valina pushed Maven and she stumbled back before everyone burst in another round of laughter.

I tightened my grip on the branch, fisting the leaves in my hand as I watched with tear blurred eyes. Xile knows how much I want to be there, with them. How I ached to be there. Our first prayer service.

I pressed my hand against my mouth as a sudden sob felt my throat. I pressed my hand tighter to stop the sounds as the tears started to rain down, slowly. Thane's eyes snapped up in my direction and I stepped back, pressing closer to the two entwined trees providing me shelter. He started walking and I held my breath, I turned around and pressed my back to the trees, digging my feet in the soft grass below.

"Thane common, it is about to start," Skye called him out and I took a deep breath as the footsteps shuffled to the river bank. At least they have arranged a way for me to watch, I should be grateful because I can't stand at the children's gallery. Not when I am 11 and everyone knows that I have my colour.

Not when everyone assumes that I am an atheist.

Everyone joined in the river, folding their dresses and stepping in the water, the teens, the elders, the adults and the officers. High and low, rich and poor, offenders, defenders and creators.People started stepping in the water, walking forward until they are knee deep immersed in the river.

Skye and Kayden stepped into the gentle river and walked to the centre. Colours started leaking out of them, spilling in the water in concentric circles. Skye's moss green and Kayden's navy blue formed circles around them, increasing in diameter with every second. Mom's yellow, dad's transparent blue, Thane'd firey orange, Maven's light grey, Banno's beige and Valina's burnt brown. The colours touched each other and the water current moved them forward, creating swirls of patterns, tins of oil colours spiled on the canvas. Thousands of colours joined in the river painting it in a phenomenal wonder of nature.

They dipped three fingers into the coloured stream and placed the three dots on their neck. Marking themselves with the gift of the Xile, pledging their loyalty to the Xile. Symbolizing that we rise from Zile and will drown in Xile.

I wasn't aware of the stream of water leaking out of my eyes, sliding down my chin as I watched the display of gratitude to the holy river, to our diety.

I raised my hand, three fingers coated in red, blue and purple. I touched them to my throat, three dots. I am grateful to Xile for its blessing. I pledge my loyalty to Xile. I plead for a way out of this misery to Xile.

"Lost in thoughts again?" I snapped out of the memory and blinked back to the present at Skye's voice. He was walked towards me and I scooted over to make space for him on the concrete block. Everyone has emptied the hall and left for their homes about 20 minutes ago, all that is left are me, Skye, Zane and Oreana, again. I took in a deep breath to subside the ache in my chest that surfaces every year at Xile Auroralis.

I mentally shook my head to get rid of the overbearing thoughts.

"Are you getting along with Zane, that is something I thought I would never see" I mused with a teasing smile and poked Skye's arm.

Skye slapped my hand away and answered in a not so convincing tone. "I call it getting acquainted with a possible trainer in making" I gave a chuckle at that and raised my eyebrow in dramatic suspicion.

"How are you?" He asked after a moment of silence between us.

"All good, why?" I answered him, shedding my smile as I fiddled with my hands.

"You haven't trained your colours since you got here," Skye remarked with a sigh, he is the one responsible for my training but he is helpless in this situation here, and I don't blame him for that.

"Hmm, ya." I answered vaguely and changed the subject, "How is the training going? How much time..." I trailed off because he surely knows where I am going with this.

"They are all self-trained, well, trained by Zane and Oreana, but still, no professional training. And if we want them to march against the officers they need good training. A month, the least. If we want to stand a chance against them" He spoke, looking down as well. This is going to be tough, one month of training under who? Skye can't stay here.

"You know where we come in this plan right?" I asked, our conversation slowly sloping to a grim tone.

"Ofcourse I do Ariel" he sighed, looking at me with clouded eyes.

"And what if we get caught?" I questioned, holding my breath to confirm what I already knew.

"Punishable for treason"