Here Lies...

Never Forever

Tom

I don't know.

I genuinely don't know anymore. Our past lives collide so much it's breaking my brain. I don't understand what the hell Tord meant by, 'you didn't deserve it,' they're MY memories, I think those are supposed to be mine no matter what. 

So, the question is, why don't I deserve them? Why would they scar me? Is it another power difference? An advantage in some kind of game? Or an attempt to hide something? 

I'm starting to think he knows something that I don't. That would explain why my mind still feels empty of some knowledge. But what could he hide, and how?

I had a theory a little while back, that our minds were connected somehow and our brains had a sort of chain reaction whenever the other did something to activate that reaction. I thought maybe Tord's brain reacted sooner than mine, that's how he knew before me. 

"Uh Tom? You've been mumbling at your food for about twenty minutes now, is everything okay?" 

I break out of a daze, completely unfocused on the world. Marshall sits beside me, holding a small stack of dirty dishes. Realization pops into my brain, and respond quickly, "Yeah, ahem, just thinking about...calories?" 

"In a salad?" Marshall askes. "Yes." I then press onto eating my food. Marshall shrugs it off, "Okay then, just don't get too hung up on calories, and still eat food please."  I nodded.

As a ate the practically room temperature salad, I remembered the little booklet Tord gave me. Wow, I can't believe I forgot that of all things. It had the most information on it! 

With that, I quickly finished my food, choking on a piece of lettuce slightly. I washed my dish sense Marshall had already finished the dishes moments before I finished my food. How does he wash them so fast? Crap, I'm getting side tracked.

  I hurried up the stairs and into my room. And there it was, in my desk chair, with Emilla reading it silently. 

''Uh Emilla, didn't Kolton already go over not snooping through other people's stuff without permission?" I ask her, a little sweat forming on my forehead. Emilla turns to face me setting the book down in her lap. "I wasn't snooping, I was looking for you but you weren't here, so I decided to wait for you in here. But then this caught my eye. This is really cool! There's another person in here who looks almost exactly like you, isn't that weird?" Emilla replied cheerfully before presuming to read on. 

"Emilla-"

"You know, I had a dream about the other you in this once." She interrupts me, but I'm glad she did. I allow her to continue. "I was a coworker of his, but we were friends and we hung out a lot." She paused, setting the book down on my desk. "But he always called me by my first name, Maddie. Even in my dream, I didn't look like myself exactly, but I knew it was me." Emilla frowned, "He was going through a rough patch, moving into a new house, and setting out a new path for himself. You know my friend Jackson right? Well he was there, but slightly different. HE wasn't nice to the other you, he pestered you, made you feel bad. I tired to stop him, but he just kept going!" Emilla calmed herself down before pressing on. "You felt better after a while, more at peace...You lived for four years longer, before you died. Not you specifically, but the other you died, but I woke up before I knew how."

Emilla stood up from the chair, and hugged me tightly. "It was a long time ago, but I still remember it. That's why when you came along, I never wanted anything bad to happen to you."

My brain seemed to melt after that, could this be the missing piece? "Is that why you wanted to find me?" I ask her, hiding the thrill of actually solving this puzzle. "No I wanted to just talk with you, but I guess I already did that so..." Emilla responds. "Sorry I snooped through your stuff, I didn't realize I was." 

"It's okay, Emilla," I tell her. "You have no idea how much you've helped me today." I remember her, I remember Jackson, It's all starting to come back to me, all so slowly. 

Emilla smiles, glad that she helped somehow, and left me to my room. I sat down in my desk chair and picked up the book again. 

I flipped through the pages, trying to find anymore information that I could. A question buzzed in my mind as I skimmed the pages over a thousand times. How did I die?

I pulled out a few sticky notes, writing done anything that could jog my memory. Connecting the dots is harder than I remember. 

When I hadn't gotten anything in my noggin, I sat face first into my bed. I tried to think, tried to know what happened to me. Who knew trying to remind yourself of your past is the most difficult thing I can think of.

Just when I was about to give up, something just clicked.
An image.

And because of that short tap into the past, another question buzzed in my head. 
What's that silhouette made of blue light?

Hi, sorry I hadn't been updating, I completely forgot I existed for a while there.