It's gonna kill you (a davekat fanfic)

Some lecture about coffee.

(Karkat pov)

The sound of Kankri giving another lecture wakes me up, he's never quiet when lecturing, especially if it's about his stupid trigger warnings. I don't think that man has ever shut his mouth for more then 2 minutes. But knowing I probably wont be able to fall back asleep, i groggily sit up and open my eyes. The bright sun shining through my thin curtains makes it impossible to keep my eyes open without going fucking blind. But I suffer with it until my eyes decide to wake up and work properly.

My eyes finally get used to the light so i pull my blankets off my sweaty body and get my short ass out of bed. I stand at the side of my bed for a few seconds, half trying to hear if Kankri is gone, half zoning out. I can't tell if he is gone so it's better to stay in here until i'm sure. i walk up to my desk and press the power button my computer, i slide onto my shitty office chair while waiting for it to boot up, which takes forever.

Once it's done taking its sweet time i open my messages, just to have 1 notification that is some fake ass user trying to get me to click a stupid link so he can hack me. I don't know what i was expecting. My soulmate somehow magically knowing we're meant to be together like some cliche romcom? "ah yes, random stranger who's username i got from a random chatroom, you are my soulmate."

After mindlessly clicking through old conversations, i turn off my computer and try to listen for Kankri, I can still hear him lecturing but it sounds like its coming from his room so i believe it's safe for me to venture out to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee.

I brace myself for the possibility that he is in the kitchen and slowly walk out of my room, only to see the lights on. I walk further out into the hall knowing he's probably already heard my door opening just to see him pushing someone out the door..? I don't have enough time to get a good look at them before Kankri has successfully slammed the door in their face but they looked tall.

I pass him and head straight for the crappy coffee machine, making it obvious that i don't want to talk, or get lectured in general. But he doesn't get the fucking hint doesn't he?

"Karina, you know coffee isn't good for you right? Especially not at your age, it will stunt your growth and you will get addicted to the chemicals in it. Let alone the possibility of caffeine overdose is quite high if you take the time to think abou" I just tone him out for the rest of his long-ass lecture, if i'm misgendered and its not important, i don't care... until he unplugs the coffee machine like the sour lemon he is. I look at him in disbelief, because what the fuck?? but before he can open his mouth i storm off to my room and close the door.

I can't stay here, I need to leave before he starts another lecture. I frantically search around my room for some wearable clothes. It takes about 24 seconds before i spot a grey hoodie, some ripped skinny jeans and my binder. Perfect. I slip into my clothes, i also find my red converse and put those on, then i pocket my phone, keys and my wallet. Before i plan to run out, i check my laptop for any new messages. Surprisingly i have one, it's from Terezi, but i won't answer, i need to leave.

I inhale sharply and open the door, i walk quickly toward the front door while try to avoid kankri, which i successfully do. I rush out the apartment and start speed walking to the stairs. I end up in a full run towards the last few flights of stairs, once almost down to the first floor, i realize i should slow down, but its too late, i run into some kid, it's like time froze as i stumble back. He's holding a laundry basket and,,, had flowers growing on his face? i don't have much time to look at him too well because before i realized it, i was running out the building. Where am i going? I dont know, but i just gotta keep running.

Somehow i end up in park, out of breath and tired as fuck from running in a binder like the fucking idiot i am, so i go to sit down on one of the benches. I try to relax and catch my breath but its disrupted real fast by the smell of... weed?? I notice the shadow of someone walking towards me so i look up at the tall ass figure and realize its Gamzee, my childhood "best friend." He has a bunch of fucking clown makeup which isnt unusual but its still weird. We havent really spoken since elementary school so im surprised he's coming up to me. He usually hangs out with the stoner kids and i hang out with my group of losers.

"wassup my motherfucking best bro?" he lazily sits down beside me and yep, he's high. I don't like it when he is high because it smells like shit but the one good thing is that he is too high to misgender me. 

"You smell like weed." 

"its some good shit bro, want some?" 

"that's a fucking retarded question, weed is fucking gross and smells like raccoon shit" (small a/n, i can reclaim the r-slur)

"your loss bro." he finally stands up to leave. "I've gots to mother fucking go now, you still have my bitching pesterchum if you mother fucking need me bro." He waves and leaves, the smell of fucking weed leaves with him, thank gog.

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a/n
i tend to lose interest in 99% of the fanfics i write.