𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ☾︎ changki

C H P - 12

Then the two only sat in silence, one crying, and one trying not to.

----

"It's alright... I'm glad you made the right decision."

Kihyun barely nodded at his friend's words, his head burrowed into his palm. At first, he had been so into the scary movie, yet now all he could do was replay the look in Changkyun's eyes and wonder just why he could never get past him. His touch, his voice, even the way he painted his fingernails black, all of it... all of it made moving on so fucking difficult. If he could, he would have just frozen himself in time so he could be in love without having to face the consequences of the future.

"Maybe... I didn't."

The pinkette hesitantly glanced up to meet the blonde's face, illuminated by the light of the screen, and the confusion on the male's features had his mind spinning. Kihyun was already confused enough with the conflict within his heart; he didn't need to see that expression to make it worse, not when he didn't even know what to do to prevent it.

"Why are you here?" Minhyuk questioned darkly, his voice sounding more threatening than it ever had before. It was odd. He was normally calm, and his voice was normally sweet, honey-like, even.

"What do you mean? What..."

Yet then Kihyun realized Minhyuk wasn't looking at him, but rather looking through him.

"Changkyun, go away. He just needs some time."

Kihyun immediately froze.

Oh no.

He was back...?

Why? What else would he have to say to make Changkyun understand? He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't. He had tried to endure, tried so hard, but he couldn't any longer. Why couldn't Changkyun just understand that?

"I need to talk to him."

"Haven't you talked enough?"

The pinkette peered down at his lap, chewing harshly on his bottom lip. Red hot blood pooled in the area that his teeth had pierced, but he didn't lick it away. He didn't move at all. If he did, Changkyun would surely focus on him, and he just couldn't have that.

"If we had talked enough, then I wouldn't need to talk to him now."

"Changkyun."

"Don't do this, Minhyuk."

"Do what? Protect my friend from you? The one that wants nothing more than to take advantage of him like you have so many times before? Because let me tell you, there's only so much he can take. I'm your friend, yes, but that doesn't mean I won't protect him from you, because whether you like it or not, I'm his best friend, and if he's not in the right place to take care of himself, I'll do it for him--"

"Minhyuk..."

The blonde quickly glanced down to where his older friend still sat, motionless. The male's fingers were clenched so tightly that they had turned a pale white.

"What? I'm just... trying to help." Minhyuk fell back into his seat after sub consciously standing up in anger. He really was just trying to help... but Kihyun looked so nervous, so unsure, so damn broken that he couldn't continue. He was only making it worse, wasn't he?

Changkyun took firm hold of Kihyun's arm. "Well you've helped enough." He shimmied around the pink-haired male's knees before crouching down in front of him, eyes going tender. "Kihyun, please, come with me. I... need to talk to you. Just give me one more chance, please? Let me show you I'll change; I'll change for you. Just one more chance, that's all I ask." His eyebrows had pulled together, and for a moment he looked pained, but then Kihyun stood up with a slight intake of air, and his pain turned into relief.

"Kihyun... you're not really doing this, are you?" Jooheon finally decided to speak up, heart full of nothing but worry for his friend. He didn't want to see him hurting anymore, not at all, but who was he to tell him not to go? He could only try his best to get the male to rethink his decision.

"Yeah..." A small smile tugged at the corner of Kihyun's lips. He wanted to smile widely to reassure his friends that he would be okay, but that was as far as he got. "What's one more chance? I'll just... call you when we're done talking."

And goddammit, he had let his heart take control.

----

"So, this is it. My house." Changkyun stepped into a seemingly small house, his arms barely out at his sides in a gesture of welcoming. It was obvious that it was a bit run down, but it was kept clean, and that was enough. There was no need for him to have some huge mansion. "If it's okay with you, I want you to stay here with me tonight."

Kihyun paused. "Why do I need to? Aren't we just going to talk?"

"Yes, we are, but... but I want to spend some time with you, so I can show you I'm sincere." Changkyun nervously ran his thumb across the largest key on his key chain. "Please?"

Kihyun hesitantly began to nod.

One would think he was stupid to be doing what he was--even he was thinking of just how much of an idiot he was, but his heart...

A while ago, he would have truthfully been able to say he didn't understand movies where people did what they knew they shouldn't, but now? Now, it was as if his mind was filled only with that understanding. Despite his fighting, at last the raging river inside of him had been drawn to the ocean.

"Alright. I will. Just..."

Changkyun stepped forward, closer to him. "Just...?"

The older just shook his head, glancing down at his feet. "Just remember that this is the last time, okay?" His voice was meek and quiet, as he was unsure as to whether this was really going to be the last time. "I won't forgive you again."

Changkyun simply smiled. "You won't have to."

----

The younger sat down on the couch, having been up for a bathroom break, and pressed play on the movie they had been watching in silence. His heart was all over the place. He was experiencing one of his moods, the ones where he no longer knew what he wanted or what he was doing. The organ hidden in his ribcage began to pound, dark eyes hesitantly glancing over to the friend sat beside him. They were wrapped up in the same blanket, about 6 inches apart; he could feel Kihyun's warmth radiating off his skin.

His eyes trailed over the male's fluffy pink hair, then his sun-kissed skin.

Did he want him?

He looked to the flutter of his lashes and the tip of his nose.

He... didn't.

Changkyun quickly turned back to the movie, his heart still pounding.

They hadn't talked things over yet. In fact, it was like the notion that they needed to talk had been forgotten completely. Heck, it even would have been if he could have just kept himself from looking back.

Kihyun's pink lips, his chin, his ears...

Again, he forced his gaze back to the television. He could no longer remember what the movie was about. He saw the people messing around on screen, clanking drinks and sharing food, yes, but he didn't know why they were doing what they were, or even where they were.

All he could see were the soft features of the friend beside him.

"Kihyun."

Suddenly, he wanted him.

"Hmm?"

He did.

"Look at me."

Didn't he?

"What is it?"

Without another moment to spare, he slid his elegant fingers along the hilt of Kihyun's neck and pulled him closer.

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So I evened things out and since this is chapter twelve, there is only going to be four more. I guess this story is already coming to an end :(

-Author 🖤