The Original Six Wives React to Six: The Musical

Ex-Wives

Divorced
Aragon rolled her eyes, her jaw clenched.
Beheaded
Anne sighed.
Died
Jane nodded, looking sad.
Divorced
Cleaves scoffed.
Beheaded
K. Howard frowned.
Survived
Parr made tiny facial expressions, just looked still and in thought.

And tonight, we are LIVE!!!
It was very upbeat. That didn't seem to match their lives very much.

Listen up let me tell you a story
Aragon squinted, "Is that me? What am I wearing? What are we all wearing?"

"Ms. Fandom said centuries, this must be how women dress now." Jane Seymour noted.

A story that you think you've heard before
We know you know our names and our fame and our faces
Anne of Cleaves raised an eyebrow. People know us? Is a thought that went through all of their minds.

Know all about the glories and the disgraces
Aragon looked at Anne in distaste. Anne not even looking over, feeling her eyes burning a hole through her skull.

I'm done 'cause all this time
I've been just one word in a stupid rhyme
"Rhyme?" Cleaves asked.

"I'm guessing the thing they said in the beginning, about how we were know to the public." Jane semi-explained.

So I picked up a pen and a microphone
History's about to get overthrown
K. Howard smiled a bit, liking the tune and music. She always had a liking for music, even after he almost ruined it for her.

Divorced
Beheaded
Died
Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
"Some rhyme, that is." Aragon commented. They all silently agreed.

But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!
Welcome to the show, to the historemix
"Is 'historemix' a real word Annie?" K.Howard asked her older cousin. Anne just shrugged.

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
"Used to be? I died being a queen." Aragon spat.

"Oh, come off it! You were not a queen! I was queen! You just couldn't let go." Anne said, rising to anger too.

"Ladies, calm yourselves. You two need to get over this. It's been.. centuries, as the young girl said! You both are queens! We all are! This is what this.. musical is about. Put all your differences aside and rise above that leasing-monger of a ex-husband we all sadly share." Parr exclaimed. They all really in her words and then turned back to the screen. The music started up again and the video unpaused.

Raising up the roof till we hit the ceiling
Get ready for the truth that we'll be revealing
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're
Ex-Wives
Parr smiled.

All you ever hear and read about
Is our ex and the way it ended
Cleaves and K.H rolled their eyes while Aragon and Anne scoffed.

But a pair doesn't beat a royal flush
You're gonna find out how we got, unfriended
"Understatement." Cleaves muttered.

Tonight we're gonna do ourselves justice
Jane smiled. We all do deserve better and justice, She thought.

'Cause we're taking you to court
And every Tudor rose has its thorns
K. Howard smile fell. That reminds her of what Henry used to call her, "A rose without thorns".

And you're gonna hear 'em live
In consort
Divorced
Beheaded
Died
Divorced
Beheaded
Survived
The more they heard it, the less it had effect on them.

But just for you tonight
We're divorced, beheaded, live!
Welcome to the show, to the historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Dancing to the beat till the break of day, once
We're done we'll start again like it's the Renaissance
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're
Ex-Wives
"But now we're ex-wives." K.H sung along quietly.

My name's Catherine of Aragon
Was married twenty-four years I'm a paragon
Of royalty, my loyalty is to the Vatican
So if you try to dump me
You won't try that again
Aragon nodded along with the beat, enjoying her part of the song.

I'm that Boleyn girl and I'm up next
See I broke England from the church
Yeah I'm that sexy
Why did I lose my head?
Well my sleeves may be green but my lipstick's red
Anne grinned, making Aragon and K.H roll their eyes.

Jane Seymour the only one he truly loved
(Rude)
When my son was newly born, I died
But I'm not what I seem or am I?
Stick around and you'll suddenly see more
"Yeah, rude." Anne said. K.H nudged Anne, she thinks it's quite sad. Jane never saw her baby grow up. Neither did Anne technically but at least she had a few years rather than a month and a half(approximately). Parr sighed at her childishness.

Ich bin Anne of Cleves
Ja
When he saw my portrait he was like
Ja!
But I didn't look as good as good as I did in my pic
Funny how we all discuss that but never Henry's little-
K.H giggled again the joke. The older queens looked at her with amused smiles. Sometimes they forget how young she is.

Prick up your ears I'm the Catherine who lost her head
(Beheaded)
For my promiscuity outside of wed
Lock up your husbands
Lock up your sons
K Howard is here and the fun's begun
K.H hummed. That's not really how it went but she'll let it slide. Anne patted her younger cousin on the back.

Five down I'm the final wife
I saw him to the end of his life
I'm the survivor Catherine Parr
I bet you wanna know how I got this far
I said I bet you wanna know how we got this far
Do you wanna know how we got this far then?
Survivor? That's what I'm known as? Part thought bitterly.

Welcome to the show, to the historemix
Switching up the flow as we add the prefix
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
Get your hands up, get this party buzzing
You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen
Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're
Ex-Wives
One, two, three, four, five... six!
They clapped politely, K.H a little more enthusiasticly thn the others.

"How's you like it?" Ms. Fandom asked.

"I thought it was utterly brilliant!" K.H exclaimed.

"A little historically incorrect but otherwise pretty good." Aragon said.

"It was awesome!" Cleaves smiled.

"Good! On to the next song!"