Attractive sentences

Sick and Tired

"Sick and Tired"
I am so sick and tired of hearing that "it'll get better, you're just having one of those days."
I've been having 'one of those days,' and nothing has 'gotten better' for years now.
I wake up in the morning wishing I hadn't.
I change my outfit at least three times before I leave in the morning, only because I can't convince myself that I don't look as terrible as I think I do.
I do my makeup, think I look worse than without it, take it off, throw my hair up and walk out the door.
I talk about things that I know I probably should never say out loud.
I listen to music which I know will do nothing except make me angrier and more depressed.
I can't even begin to think about how to push through my anxiety.
I look in the mirror every single day, and I have to convince myself that I am myself; I question myself on a daily basis about whether or not everything is as real as it seems to be.
I lay in bed every night and think about everything I did wrong that day.
I write poems that are far from making sense.
I happily sing songs which I do not understand the lyrics to.
I'm mean to the people who love me.
I procrastinate far too much.
I get way too attached to people, who I know are temporary.
So, the next time I hear "it'll get better," I'm just going to smile and nod. Because, deep down, I know that nothing will really ever "get better."
The only thing I can do, is deal with who I am.
If I try to be anyone else, it is just going to dehumanize me more so.
I have to, really, just learn that I am who I am, and I will never be able to change that.
-A.M.