Wanting Santana

The confession

Rachel POV

"Hey Rachel, you have been awfully quiet. It's a sleepover, we should be having fun, but you've hardly said anything since I first got here ten minutes ago. So who are you and what did you do to Rachel Berry?" Kurt jokes.

I have no idea how to reply to that, so I just remain silent and shrug my shoulders. Kurt grins and continues, "No seriously, Rach, is something bugging you or is there something you would like to talk about?" he asks.

Okay, this is the moment that I have been trying to avoid. Or maybe I wanted Kurt to notice that I've got something on my mind? I mean, he's right; I have been really quiet since he first got here, which is very out of character for me. Plus I did kind of plan on telling him today. So I guess that now the moment is here, the moment I'm going to talk about it for the very first time. This should be fairly easy because he's my best friend and normally we tell each other everything. But I can't help but be extremely nervous about telling him this particular secret of mine.

I hesitate, "Kurt, I need to confess something. It's something really important and you can't make fun of me if I tell you, okay?"

Kurt rolls his eyes and replies, "If this is about Finn again, then I will make fun of you because it has been five months since he dumped you, Rachel. Five months! So it is definitely time to move on with your life."

I yell, "This isn't about Finn, Kurt!"

I take a deep breath, and I continue, "Actually it is quite the opposite I wanted to talk to you about. I think I have found a new love interest. It's a little complicated, though, and I have no idea what to do. The situation is rather inconvenient to say the least."

All of a sudden Kurt is looking way more serious and interested. He beams, "In that case I'm all ears. So who is he? And do I know him?"

I give in, "Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone else, not even Mercedes. Because I know that you two are always gossiping, and don't even try to deny that because you know it's the truth."

Kurt starts laughing but when he realizes that I am being serious, he immediately stops  and turns more earnest. He promises me, "You have my word, but please just tell me because you are starting to freak me out, Rach."

I take another deep breath and a small sigh escapes my lips before I can say, "Actually it isn't a" I quickly swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and confess, "It isn't a guy, it's a girl."

Kurt's jaw drops immediately and he has this weird look on his face. A look of shock, surprise and excitement all in one. "Oh my God, Oh my god, who would have thought that you, Rachel Barbra Berry, are gay?!"

I snarl, "I'm not gay, but if you insist on labeling my sexuality then I would rather describe myself as bisexual or maybe fluid."

Kurt chuckles, "Yeah, I forgot about the whole Finn drama for a moment. You were so heartbroken over him for months, but that's not important right now. So let's cut back to the case, when did you realize you were bisexual? Why didn't you tell me before? And who is this girl that you're crushing on? Do I know her? Are you..."

I decide to cut Kurt off by using my hand to cover his mouth. He intends to start rambling whenever he's excited or nervous about something. In this case, I think that he is both excited and nervous right now which makes the rambling a little bit worse than normal. Plus knowing Kurt, he is probably curious as hell. However, I can't blame him for that; I would be exactly the same if I was him right now. I chuckle, "Relax Kurt, one question at a time. You make it look like an examination, so just keep it low-key and then I will answer all of your questions."