Wanting Santana

The back-up plan

Brittany POV

Yesterday Santana dedicated her performance to me, which was extremely sweet of her. I could practically see and even feel how much she loves me, how much we love each other. The only downside was that I needed to wait to reward her until we got home, because unfortunately we’re still hiding our relationship. Anyway, right after school we drove to her house because her parents are always working late, and then I showed her just how much I love her. Our heated make out session quickly turned into sex. No it wasn't sex, it was truly making love. I needed to show her even though our relationship is going to a rough patch right now, that I still love her with all my heart. I always will.

However because I hold so much love for San, I want to be able to hold and kiss her in public. I just know that we will both be much happier when we stop hiding our relationship. So right now, I'm sitting here in my room and I'm waiting for Quinn to arrive. Because Q said that she's going to help me achieve that. Both Q and I believe that it would be better for San to come out. That way San and I will be able to share our love with our friends and family. Accomplishing that isn't going to be easy, but in the end San will be so happy and relieved that she doesn't have to hide anymore.

I get snapped out of my thoughts when Quinn enters my bedroom and sits on my bed next to me. She greets me, "Hey Britt.” 

“Hi Quinn, thanks for coming over.”

“No problem, that’s what friends are for. So anyway how are you? Especially, after Santana's performance yesterday?"

The way she said it makes me feel like I should be sad or something like that. I thought that it should make me happy when my girlfriend performs a song for me. I hesitate, "Euhm, yeah of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?"

She starts explaining, "Well for instance, because San told everyone that she chose that song for Puck. Plus she kissed him after the performance right in front of you. Doesn’t that hurt you?”

"Of course it hurts me Q, but at least now we’re making some kind of progress."

She quirks her perfectly manicured eyebrow at me and challenges me, “And what kind of progress would that be, Brittany? Because I was there and I sure as hell didn’t notice any.”

I shrug my shoulders because I know that she has a point. When I can’t find the right words to come up with a great response, she continues, “Or is sticking her tongue down Puck’s throat your idea of making progress? Because it sure as hell wasn’t mine.”

Those words hurt and she knows it, so I snap, “Stop Quinn! Just stop!” I take a deep breath and rage, “Don’t you ever think that it didn’t hurt me, because it did. Of course it did. But I was also really happy when she performed that solo for me because I knew that it came from her heart and that San did it to show me how much she loves me. So I’m sorry if I’m not more disappointed, because all I could think about was how much I love her and how much she loves me. It might not be enough, but in that moment it was.”

As soon as I’m finished with my little monologue, I notice a change in Quinn’s features. Her bright smile has been replaced with a sad one, and she has slumped her shoulders. She mutters, “I’m sorry Britt, I didn’t mean to be so harsh.”

“I know Quinn, and it’s okay. Just try and lay of the subject a bit. You know how much I want San to come out, so you don’t have to throw it in my face that all my attempts to make that happen have failed miserably. And honestly, I don’t think that they’ll ever work.”

"Sounds like you’re giving up already, Brittany.”

“Maybe I am,” I mutter.

“But how much longer are you going to wait for San to come out? Because I can’t see that happening any time soon."

I lean back against my headboard, let out a deep sigh and softly shrug my shoulders.  After a few seconds, I admit, “I honestly don’t know, ‘cause we’ve been hiding for more than a year.”

“Exactly. Don’t you think it’s time to do something about this?”

“I guess so, but how am I going to be able to pull that off? You and I both know that San is terrified of coming out and it’s not like I can out her myself. She would never forgive me if I did that, so I can only try and push her into doing coming out. But I don’t know how.”

“We could always try my back-up plan. It isn’t that solid, but I don’t know what other choice you have.” 

I clear my throat, before asking what that back-up plan exactly is. Honestly, I had hoped that just flirting with other people would have done the trick, but now our only option is the backup-plan. So I ask, "So Quinn, what do you actually mean with plan B?"

"Basically you have to let Santana think that she's losing you, that way she’ll come out of the closet to try and win you back. Because she will know that that's the only way that you’ll get back together with her."

I interrupt Quinn immediately and start shaking my head. "What?! I'm not breaking up with Santana! Are you crazy?! I can't do that, I love her Quinn and she loves me. We have been together for more than a year, I can’t throw that away!”

Quinn snaps, "Geez Brittany, relax a little. You didn't let me finish. I came up with this plan after I saw it in some movie. The girl tried to make the guy jealous by dating someone else and she pulled it off. It might be a little harsh, but I can totally see this working. In the end it’s your decision, but think about it. This could really work.”

“Okay, I guess you’re right. Maybe I should give this a shot, but who would I date to make Santana jealous? Because I don’t want to lead someone on.”

“Well, I already figured that out. Do you want to know?”

“Of course, shoot.”

“Okay, so I talked to Elijah today and he would love to take you out on a date. I talked to him about it, obviously without mentioning anything about your relationship with San or this plan, and I have to say he’s perfect for this plan.”

I wonder, “How could anyone be perfect for this?”

“Well because first of all that guy has got a huge crush on you, and second of all Santana hates his guts. Of course I told him that you aren’t looking for anything serious and he just shrugged that off and told me that it never hurts to try. He’s going to be able to get under Santana’s skin and speed up the process. Plus even though he’s a nerd, he’s pretty easy on the eyes.”

I question, "So if I really go through with this plan, how long do you think that I’ll have to date him?"

“I don’t know, Britt. But I assume that it’ll only be a few weeks.”

“A part of me thinks that this is exactly what I need to do, but another part of me is so scared. Losing Santana, even for a few weeks, is terrifying.”

"I'm not going to lie; it's going to hurt both of you which makes it so terrifying. But think about how happy you will be when San would come out of the closet and you could be together in public. Besides it’ll only be a temporary break-up."

“You’re right, let’s do this.”