Supernatural Fan-fics

Sam- Break-up

Sam begrudgingly headed out for a night on the town with Dean. He hadn't left the bunker in months except for hunts. He kept himself locked in a spare bedroom. Hiding from the world, hiding from Dean, but mostly hiding from the memories of her. He couldn't stand to be in his room...their room because it smelled like her. Handfuls of her things still scattered around the room. Memories that coated every inch of the bunker.

Sweet tender kisses in the hallways on the way to bed. Early mornings in the kitchen with smoothies getting ready to head out on a run. One of his hoodies making it look as if she was drowning in it, but she only grinned when he'd laugh at her about it. Late-night research marathons in the library fueled with copious amounts of coffee. Movie nights that left him watching her instead of the movie.

The way she smiled, the sparkle in her eyes gazing at the screen. Her ridiculously adorable giggle. Y/n and her endless geekdom knowledge of all things movie, tv, books, and games that put Charlie and Dean to shame. All the nights when the skies were clear, they'd lay out on a blanket on the hill behind the bunker. Hand in hand, laying squished together staring up at the endless expanse of the galaxy above them.

Sam hardly ate, barely slept. He stopped going out for morning jogs. He's become quite and lost interest in all that he'd loved before. There wasn't anything left that didn't remind him of Y/n. He couldn't close his eyes without seeing her face. His senses flooded with the smell of her perfume, the aroma of her shampoo. Her expression always morphing from smiling and cheerful to agony and pain.

He could still hear her crying. The sobbing, and sniffling. The meek way she spoke his name even as he yelled. A hunt gone south left her injured, but instead of admitting he was scared for her, he blamed her. It didn't matter that she grew up in the life. It didn't matter that she was a hunter longer than him and Dean. He was supposed to protect her and that hunt only proved how much he really couldn't.

He took out his fear on her instead. Too stubborn to say he was scared. That he was frightened of getting comfortable and let his guard down because if his past had anything to say, it was that love didn't seem to be in the cards for him. Each time he loved someone... well Sam and heartbreak were old friends.  Part of him believed she'd be better off without him.

If he admitted it to himself, he'd know that in the back of his mind he was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for something to go wrong. He had nightmares on some nights. Seeing Jess and the others dying in front of him. Teasing him, taunting him, telling him that Y/n was next. He was starting to feel that love wasn't worth the potential heartache. That he didn't deserve it, but then Y/n would crawl in his lap and wrap her arms around him. Griping tight and squeezing hard like she knew he needed it.

Y/n would stay that way for ages. Her head nestled in the crook of his neck. Her breathing slow and steady giving him something to focus on. She wouldn't speak, only held on in silence until the rest of the world seemed to fade away for Sam. Y/n had become the very air he breathed and it terrified him. The very thought of losing her, of never seeing her again broke something deep inside him.

He tried to call so many times. Sam picked up the phone and dialed her number. Letting it ring until it went to voicemail, but after that beep, no words would leave his mouth. He'd sputter and groan before hanging it up. He waited day after day for a call that never came because he just couldn't man up and get the words out himself. He let the best thing that had come into his life walk away.