The White Dress I Wore...

Home is not a place, it's a feeling...

-Time Skip-

-Harmony's Perspective-

Jisung guided me to my dorm as I was numb inside-out. "Yah, you know, we can all have dinner together! We can get your favorite, fried chicken!" I just nodded silently, not feeling like talking at the moment. We arrived at my dorm and I saw all the former NCT members there, including that angel faced demon, Taeyong. I took my keys from my side purse and opened the door revealing my tidy dorm. "Looks like someone is finally tidy!" Johnny stated while entering the dorm. "I'll order fried chicken." Doyoung added while going on his phone. "Let's all play UNO cards, eh?" We all nodded to Jaemin's request and Renjun immediately searched the shelves for some UNO decks. "I'll go and get us some beverages!" Jaehyung shouted before disappearing behind the front door. Johnny, Yuta, and WinWin started cooking some ramen to go with the fried chicken in the kitchen while Chenle and Jisung started arguing about how much fried chicken we should get. The rest was either talking to other members or helping Johnny, Yuta, and WinWin. 

For some reason, I felt at home, I felt cared for and a little bit happy. But the trauma of seeing the dead bodies are still in my mind, and so I just sat there, on the couch, dozing off into dreaming land. Renjun finally found the UNO cards and started spreading them into groups. " YAH! WHO IS PLAYING UNO?!" he screamed, and some members started walking forward to the coffee table in front of the TV.  Jeno, YangYang, Hendery, Taeil, Kun, Ten, Jaemin, and Renjun gathered around that tiny coffee table and started playing. "Wanna play Harmony?" Ten asked, his eyes still on his UNO cards. "No thanks." 

I was just sitting there silently, absorbing all the voices, the ridiculous funny arguments, and the scolding from the hyungs. I just sat there on the couch, taking in every single voice and sound, feeling grateful that I still have people who care about me. I was so lucky to still have people around me that care about me, despite all the arguments. All of us do get into small and big arguments, but we all care for each other at the end of the day. But, something was messing, someone's voice... The voice that was always there when I was alone on the couch, the one that always had my back...Mark. Even though the boys sound all happy, I know that they would cry their eyes out tonight... I know that there hiding their own emotions because they wanted me to feel happy and at home. I know that because every now and then, I would see a tiny tint of red in their eyes. I knew that they cried before I came here... 

I decided to go in my room and wash up before dinner. Rose had brought some clothes for me to change into because the dress I was wearing were stained with blood... I entered my room and took out the bloody dress from the plastic bag in my purse and hung it on a hanger. Then, I hung the hanger in the bathroom. 

-Time skip-

I was now done with showering and washing my hair but forgot my clothes in my bedroom, so I made my way out of the bathroom with the towel wrapped around my body and proceeded to go to my closet. Suddenly, the door jerked open, and Johnny stood right in the door way. "Harmony! Fried chicken is here- um..." He suddenly realized and immediately closed my bedroom door. "SORRY!" he screamed from the other side of the door. I decided to think nothing of it and dressed in a simple white shirt and some black shorts. The white shirt fitted just right around my stomach, and I stood there, looking at my reflection in the mirror. At least I still have the baby. I then continued to the kitchen.

Everyone was eating by then and I was the last one to the table. Luckily, Johnny saved me a seat at the dinner table. Some members were sitting at the dinner table, some were sitting at the coffee table, some were eating on the counter, and some were just leaning on the couch or wall while eating ramen and or fried chicken. "Harmony! I saved you a seat!" Johnny yelled, surprising some from his voice. When I sat down and our eyes met, Johnny's face turned red and I smiled for the first time today. I now realized my reality, I cannot do anything to make Mark, Jae, and Johnny to come back alive, but I can just over-come this and live a happy life with them in mind. I started eating my ramen.