𝙍𝙚𝙙 𝙊𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣 🥀

v.

It was weird to see the new influx of change that happened over the next few days. With someone to talk to, I felt different. Like I wasn't alone, because I wasn't. It was a nice feeling I had never felt fulfilled before and my heart swelled every time I thought of it. Being wanted was something I had always sought and now that it was here, I was whole.
A week passed and the day finally came where I was comfortable enough to join the older students in their class, something I had honestly been very scared of. It reminded me that Master Skywalker was counting on me..and that I was counting on myself. If I failed, it was like Mother's training all over again.
I had gotten dressed in my robes, pulled my hair into its usual style, and walked towards the mess hall. I was barely twenty feet from my hut when Ben suddenly materialized beside me,"The bell hasn't even rang and you're already on your way, huh?"
I was silent as I looked up at him and counted down on my fingers from five. When the last finger fell, the bell rang loudly and someone yelled out,"Breakfast in the mess hall!"
Ben looked impressed as I stuffed my hands into my pockets,"Well, you've got that down to a science."
"Or I'm just really willing to get food."
He chuckled a bit, a smile spreading across his lips, before he said,"Guess we all have our ways of motivation."
"Damn right," I took my hands out of my pockets as we stepped into the mess hall, I made a beeline towards the trays and was the first one in line to grab the usual food we all ate every morning. I waited for Ben, noticing he was behind me as he did the same before walking towards me,"Let's go."
I walked towards our table. We decided that the table in the corner was going to be ours, it was nice to be able to talk in a public area but in our own spot. A spot where we could be seen but not heard.
My mind became abuzz with all the chatter around and my usual headache started. Ever since my encounter with the Force last week, my mind had become very sensitive to little details. I could hear everything within a fifty foot radius, the touch from different objects was more enhanced, and I even felt emotions with a little bit more intensity. It was strange but I managed. I wondered constantly if it would get worse if I kept training myself and became stronger..but then I reminded myself that if I did, I could control it. I wouldn't be able to hear the insults or cry constantly anymore.
Ben sat down in front of me in the same chair like always, his tray hitting the table with a small clatter sound while I placed mine gently down to avoid another sound from infiltrating my mind. Ben noticed my discomfort and he furrowed his eyebrows,"You okay?"
"It's a little loud in here today," I found myself squeeze my temples, a cluster headache forming behind my right eye. Ben's worried expression doesn't go away,"Do you need me to get anything?"
"No, it's fine," it begins to go away as I focus myself with the Force. The feeling of being embraced pulls me in and my mind becomes blank and, like my thoughts, my headache goes away. I opened my eyes and noticed Ben staring at me, confusion spreading his face,"Do you know what causes these headaches?"
I didn't tell Ben why I had gotten these yet but I sighed as I figured..why not?
"I think.." I licked my lips, unsure of if he'd understand,"I think it's my sensitivity to the Force."
"Elaborate," he waved his spoon in the air before he scooped some oatmeal onto it and began eating it, not breaking eye contact once.
"It's making my senses heighten. I can hear everybody in this room talking about us, I can touch this table and tell you that it's actually got a lot of moving organisms on it that we can't see, and I feel like bursting out crying or breaking things constantly," I took in a deep breath, trying to keep myself calm.
"And..that's all?"
"What do you mean 'that's all'?"
"I mean, you're not getting any sort of visions? Dreams? Maybe a weird signal on some sort of neuron in your brain?"
I blinked a few times, wondering if I should tell him about my dreams. Like always, they were getting worse..but, recently, they became the same as the first time I had gotten the dream. It was strange how it progressed into a whole different story and then..changed back to the beginning.
"I have but they're not important."
"Anything's important if the Force has anything to do with it," Ben scooped another bite of oatmeal,"You should tell Master Skywalker."
"I don't think that's-"
"Mona," Ben suddenly grabbed my hand, making my heart rate spike at the enhanced feeling of skin touching skin,"If these dreams are getting worse, you need to tell someone what they are."
The shock of Ben's hand clutching mine made my mind go to mush. Didn't he just hear me say my touch was enhanced? My mind was consumed with the thought of feeling the blood rushing under his skin, how his pulse became in time with mine, realizing that his hand was softer than anyone's I had ever touched before. Even with this being one of the most innocent touches of all, it felt intimate. Only for us and no one else. I felt myself swallow as I realized that I wasn't expecting it and I don't think I could've foreseen it happening in any universe..especially with him,"I..uh.."
Ben raised an eyebrow, seemingly unaware at my mind being in a different place. I sighed deeply as I realized I wanted to continue being in this situation, feeling his hand against mine as we stared into each others eyes. But I had to break,"I will tell Master Skywalker if anymore happens."
"Good," his eyes and hand lingered for a few seconds before he pulled away. It felt like my lifeline had been pulled and I suddenly realized that I'd give anything to feel something like that.
That I'd give everything I had in my life to feel that from Ben Solo.

The whole group of classmates made their way towards their training grounds, Ben and I included in that group. I noticed that the area wasn't very far from my class and that it was more spacial than the other. Master Skywalker was there when everyone got there.
Once everyone filed into the area, Master Skywalker bowed,"Hello, everyone."
"Hello, Master Skywalker," the students said in sync, just like the other class.
"Today," I noticed a flicker of silver on his hip as he walked towards us,"I will be showing you the wonders of the Jedi's weapon." A sudden whoosh sound filled the space and all the students are in awe of a green-bladed, perfectly crafted lightsaber within two feet away from us. I could feel the heat of the blade as it torched my skin like a sunburn, making me want to touch it.
"Does anybody know what this is?" Most stayed silent, some snickered, some just rolled their eyes. Someone suddenly said,"A lightsaber."
"A lightsaber! Good job," he paced with it on, looking at the students. He suddenly stopped in front of me and turned the lightsaber off, holding the hilt out to me. I stared at it and then looked back up at him. He pushed it towards me further,"Go on, take it."
I swallowed hard as I felt my fingers wrap around the cold metal, remembering my mother's words only a year ago,'You're still not ready..'
I held it upwards and I turned it on, the whoosh noise startling me as I suddenly backed up a step, losing control over my feet but not my grip. Some people laughed a bit but Master Skywalker silenced them by holding his hand up, making them shut up instantly.
The heat was intense as I held it in both hands, making sure I did things correctly as I stared at the glowing blade in awe. I closed my eyes as I felt the heat absorb into my skin, my mind clearing into nothing but me, the Force, and the weapon I was to learn how to wield. I breathed in and out, completely tranquil as I held the lightsaber up and slashed something behind me that suddenly came into my space. I heard a pew noise and I opened my eyes to see a blaster droid..the same one my mother used for me when I would train with her.
Master Skywalker began clapping, making  the whole class clap as well, while he made his way towards me. He stepped a few feet in front of me as I turned the lightsaber off and handed it to him. He had an amused grin on his face as he said,"I think that you'll like it better in this class, don't you?"
I looked behind him to see Ben clapping, his eyes wide and clear as his lips were wide in a giant smile. A smile formed onto my lips as I looked back at Master Skywalker and nodded,"Yes, I think I will too."