𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘪𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱 𝘯𝘰 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦

PROMISE ME THIS

ANON: Hi, could I request 15 with a shy female reader and Bill Guarnere?  (prompt #15: "this is a nice change of scenery.")

"goddamnit!" bill thumped his fist onto the table and stood up. "i ain't playing with you no more, malark."
"oh, come on bill! it's craps!" you knew what malarkey meant. it was craps that seemed to keep the men's minds distracted from their impending jump. d-day. h-hour. you didn't play craps because you were no good at it, and you wanted to spare yourself the embarrassment of losing. you got embarrassed when you simply spoke to someone, your cheeks heating up and words tangling up in your mouth. you'd always been a shy girl, socially anxious and nervous of attention.
"nah, i'll be bankrupt by the end of the night." bill stood up and caught you staring at him. "y/n? you okay?"
"i'm... yeah." he took a seat next to you on your cot. "just... thinking."
"bout what, doll?" doll. the term of endearment rolled off his tongue like water off a duck's back, so naturally, and yet it instantly made your hands quiver with nerves. "it's nothing." you wanted to stand, but you were afraid you'd topple over with weak legs and make a fool of yourself. bill gave his signature chuckle, before inspecting your face, analysing each detail. "ya sure?"
"mmhmm." you nodded. you often did feel guilty that you weren't a little nicer to bill, but it wasn't your fault you were so damn shy all the time. you wished you had the confidence to take him by the collar and show him how you felt about him. but you couldn't. you could barely muster the courage to look him in the eyes.

bill wasn't sure if you liked him. he felt as though you avoided him like the plague. he knew you were shy, but you were particularly worried around him. the first time he'd introduced himself you'd sat wide eyed and shakily said your name. "y/n." it was a beautiful name, for a beautiful girl. bill knew he was intimidating, but surely after a year together you knew him well enough to understand he'd never hurt you. standing up, he patted your shoulder lightly before mumbling "don't be a stranger, doll. you hear?" you nodded at him, and he left you in peace. walking out of the barracks, bill sighed and lit up a cigarette. johnny martin approached him, smiling, and asked for a light. "what's on your mind, bill?"
"nothing much." he fiddled with his cigarette, reluctant to say anything about you. johnny wasn't an idiot, he didn't need to be a mindreader to see the tension between the two of you. "you ready for the jump?"
"ready as i'll ever be, johnny."

"what's the deal with you and y/n?" joe asked, smearing paint onto bill's face. "i don't know. i think she hates me."
joe chuckled, shaking his head in disagreement. "no. she doesn't hate you bill. she likes you."
"yeah?"
"the way she looks at you? i wish a broad would look at me like that." bill really couldn't see that. glancing over to you from across the strip, he could see you carefully slathering paint onto eugene roe's face. you spilt the paint all over your front, and broke into a fit of giggles. a smile cracked your face, and bill felt his heart thud. he was immensely glad it would be you who would be treating him if and when he was wounded. your gentle hands on his wound, holding his hand, your gentle voice reassuring him and telling him he's alright. "bill." joe snapped him from his daze. "you should tell her before we drop."
"so close? no. she'd have too—too much on her mind. needs to concentrate on the drop." joe shrugged as if to say whatever you say, but bill knew he didn't agree.

the drop was cancelled. you felt slightly relieved, but part of you was disappointed. it was like going on a ride at the fairground. it was scary, but you built up the courage. then suddenly, when you're all mentally prepared, you have to wait a whole day to get on it. a lot of the men went to drink away their stress, or distract themselves in the cinema. not you though. you couldn't cope with the anxiety of being around other people. instead, you lay in a field behind the drop zone, with the sunset turning yellow and red in front of you, glowing up like a raging fire in the sky. "y/n!" bill called out, and you sat up. you could tell by the hoarse tone of his voice that something was wrong. turning to look at him, you watched him approach, almost stomping his feet on the ground. his eyes looked puffy. has he been crying? you did dare to ask.

bill settled himself next to you. "hey, doll."
"hello." your voice didn't waver.
"you okay?" he looked at you softly, and you looked back at him for a moment before looking in front of you at the golden sky. you nodded. "are you?"
"i..." he hesitated, "my brother's dead." you said nothing, just trying to read bill's face. his jaw was clenched, and he was breathing heavily. afraid of saying something out of place, you instead opted to place a small hand over his large one. he clasped your hand and held it more gently than you'd thought he would. neither of you said anything, just stared up into the sunset. it was daunting, really, that you could have been jumping from that sky if things were different.

"this is a nice change of scenery." bill's words made you jump as they interrupted the silence. you looked at him, radiant in the golden sun, and smiled before nodding. he watched as your gaze settled at the intertwined hands in between you both. "i'm sorry about your brother, bill. i... i really am."
"i... yeah. i don't wanna talk about it." he lay back in the grass, and patted the spot next to him. you hesitated. "i don't bite, ya know y/n."
"i know." you joined him, your hair fanning out around your head like a halo. he wondered if he should confess his love for you. life was so short, so unpredictable, and bill was terrified of letting you slip through his fingers. at the same time, he was afraid if he told you how he felt you'd break his heart. henry would have smacked the upside of his head and told him to stop messing the lady around. bill had to bite back tears as he thought of his older brother's face. he felt as though there was a hole in his heart now, one that he couldn't fill.

"i'm scared." you confessed, breaking the silence again.
"me too." bill took the opportunity to grasp your hand again. "promise me this, y/n, promise you won't die."
you gave a breathy chuckle. "bill i—"
"promise!"
"i'll try my best." your smile was warm, and sorrowful, bittersweet. "i'm not planning on it."
"good." bill leaned up onto one arm, looking down at you. he stared at each imperfection on your face, admiring them. to bill, you were a work of art. "cause it would break my goddamned heart if something were to happen to you."

you breathlessly looked up at bill, unsure what to do. his stare was so gentle, but you felt scrutinised under it. it was as though he sensed your worry, because he softly murmured: "you're beautiful, ya know that?"
"th-thanks." if it had been different circumstances, you might have tried to kiss him in that moment. but bill had just lost his brother, and you didn't want to mess with his head. instead, you wrapped your arms around him in a loving hug and rubbed his back up and down. clenching you in his arms, you felt bill's sobs wracking his body, and felt physical pain knowing the amount of hurt he was going through. shushing gently, you reassured bill as gently as you could. your feelings for bill would have to wait.