A DARKER SILVER LINING

JASON'S POV

As I walked closer, my attempts to keop my footsteps incognito were proving to be difficult. I would occasionally brush over a creaky shelf, a toppled table or step on bits of shattered glass on the floor. Luckily, he seemed unmoved. There was music playing from a phone beside his foot.

Coming up at the corner he was at, I stopped. He couldn't see me. I was sure of that. The book shelves did me justice. I didn't think anyone else would be at the old library. Outside, the sky was still gloomy. The kind of gloomy that would darken the winter snow. Kinda seemed that it read my mood today.

From what I could make out, he was hugging a girl, his eyes closed. Even with them closed, I'd obviously tell it was Nate. Why was he here?
Who was that girl?
My heart was racing with anticipation.

She was crying. More of sobbing. I could see her back moving up and down as Nate's hand caressed her back soothingly. The embrace was so real. Full of pain and passion. It's as if they let themselves flow with the emotions that seemed to be crashing them. The song offered the right mood. Sullen.

I stood there, unmoved. Waiting.

With the music coming to a stop, the girl pulled away from his chest, as if struck by a sudden realization. She mumbled something to Nate. I watched as Nate took her arm. And after what seemed like a whole sentence, he leaned forward and planted a kiss on her forehead.

She turned to pick up what looked like a locket.

Bear???!
We're my eyes lying to me?
Was I daydreaming?

I definitely wasn't. That was my Bear.
Suddenly, a feeling of jealousy filled my heart. I've never come to expect the unexpected. I fuckin loved Bailey so much. Dangerously. I would do anything for her. She had never even allowed me to kiss her forehead. Just hugs. It was all I got .

Tears poured down my face in an uncontrollable manner. There was that strength I would show people...the physical one mostly. My emotional pain was dependent on Bailey. I couldn't love any other girl. Not even like any other. Except her. I was trying to breathe, trying so hard but my lungs refused to open up. I felt a sudden tightness in my chest. As I watched them walking out, the world around me turned into a blur. I blinked my eye trying to find my balance.

The tight embrace and the forehead kiss replayed in my head. My hands went to my ears, in a futile attempt to block out my pain. I crouch to the ground. I was in so much pain. God it hurt so bad. The girl I was obsessed with had just been kissed. On the forehead. How could she allow him to do that?

How could she tear my heart out and watch the life bleed out of me? How could she be so selfish? I had been there all her life and not once did I she let me in as more than just a best friend. After everything I had done for her. I had put my life on the line for her so many times. I had been able to keep this feeling inside me for a long time... Deep into the depths of the grand canyon. My heart was literally crushed.

I didn't have the right to feel all these but I had no choice. Love is a feeling that takes over in one swing. I didn't even have the balls to tell her that I loved her so much. Voicing my thoughts and feelings to her would make me seem a tad bit weird. I had a plan. To make her fall for me so hard. It was part of my plan. Everything had to fall into place. But there was a wall I had to climb. Nate. He was getting closer than I expected. Though Bear had shown less interest in him, I still felt insecure. Afraid to lose her.

I couldn't allow that to happen. I had to reconnect with the old me. I had to make everything possible. Picking myself up, I left the library. I was sure by now they were far away and couldn't see me. I walked on ahead to some place I knew. Somewhere I would let out all my frustrations at. My pain. I didn't want to go home. I switched off my phone to avoid any kind of disturbance.

I needed to recollect my thoughts. I felt betrayed. Why wouldn't she call me? I mean what's a best friend for in times of difficulty?...