A DARKER SILVER LINING

NATE'S POV

Wounded by the battles of my past and scarred by the words and torture I was forced to endure
...

Sunday was normally a boring day. After walking Bailey home the previous night after her breakdown, I felt my heart mending itself slowly. I was a step closer to winning her over to my side. I was sitted on my bed , thinking.

Hey son... we're going out

Mum and dad had planned on a day out for themselves. We didn't really go to church on most Sundays normally. I was glad to be alone at home. The nanny had an off day today too.

Bye guys...

I shouted back. Soon as the car was out of the porch, I started to dig. I felt something had been in the dark in this house. It was Bailey's old house so there had to be something in here somewhere.

And what was even more weird was that dad held his meetings in the basement...which was always locked out to me. Mostly with men in black leather jackets. I knew where the key was though that wasn't my focus today. Everything was adding up now. There was something related to Bailey's parents. And I had to find out.

I had made that silent promise...that whichever part I chose to reveal in the dark, it would remain there, in secret. Until everything was ready for Bailey. I had vowed to be her protector. Ever since elementary school. I was sure she didn't remember me yet. But everything would be out in a while. I presumed.

Looking at her picture...one that I always carried with me, I floated down memory lane. Back to where my troubles began.

Elementary school

Monday June the 16th

Being a freak in elementary school wasn't a walk in the park. It came with insults, laughter and constant mockery. The likened me to the hunchback of Notre Dame. Yeah I knew I was exactly like that freak but I didn't really deserve all the hate being thrown my way.

No one was willing to be my playmate at school. Recess was the worst part of the day where they would sing out.

Nate the ugly!!!!

They would circle around me and throw all types of trash words my way. Crying out stop countless times was of no use. They seemed to enjoy every bit of it.

Amber Little...
She was the ring leader in all this. She was one hefty bitch. Being the tallest kid, everyone carried her with much respect and admiration. She was a bully. A big one.

Jason Little...
He was Amber's fraternal twin. Always in Amber's defence when it came to reporting her to the head of the school.

Not being able to take in all the words, I ran off towards the school's pool. I wanted to drown. To die. Bitter resentment crawled inside me. I looked at myself in the water and I didn't like what I was seeing.

Ugly
Rejected
Hated
Despised

I hated myself more than they did. I hadn't done anything wrong to them.

Or was it my face?
Or my hunch?
Or my sweaty hands?

Yeah ...it was always my appearance.
They said I was cursed probably.
But I wasn't... It was how I had been born. Would one change their appearance? Does one choose to look a certain way?

I would forget my pain through death.
And I saw myself...in a field of daffodils... every one a sunny yellow ...a golden trumpet amidst a fanfare of Halo petal. I figured heaven would be great if I got there. And there would be no more insults in death.

I imagined myself dangling from a high-rise tower. The only thing between me and death was my outstretched hands ready to dive from the diving board into the pool.

I bet if they ever found me they'd just leave me there...or better off...throw a rock on my head. But I wasn't that lucky anyway...like a bad lil penny... I'd still float upwards...lifeless..

Light as a feather...stiff as a board...

I mean...what was so hard about common human decency. I was tired. So tired of being judged for what I looked like.

And as they say...
When the emotion is strong it feels the same as truth and it compels me.

Just before I could make my death dive... My saving grace arrived...

A scream... followed by another...

....

I had been so deep in thought. The clatter of a black polythene bag falling from Dad's closet reeled me back to reality.

I remembered this particular plastic bag...on one evening...the first day being in this house after therapy... High af...I had walked in on dad just as he put it inside his closet and beside him, a shaky pale expression on mum's face.

Bending down towards it, I picked it up...
This had to be the first light...the first hint...the first beginning to the end.

And I was just about to unlock it.

....

Softness is not a weakness. It takes courage to stay delicate in a world this cruel.

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If you don't get the turn or little twist in it... Kindly go back to like the first POVs...
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Moral of this POV...
Don't judge anyone by what or how they look like...
Some get too weak and might end up just committing suicide.
If you get to that point... just please find me and talk to me...I'm a sweetheart...❣️😊