Broken Wings

Frozen Days and Frozen Hearts

Else Schüffen- Munich, Germany 1941

It was a cold day, to say it in plain terms. I think everyone inhabiting Munich at the time could agree with that. Many desks remained empty that day. No one wanted to step foot into the chilling air, and certainly not in the classrooms, which felt like a refrigerator to Else.

"But Mama! It's too cold out for school!" Else protested, reluctantly slipping on a wool coat. She gazed upstairs to where Maximilian was presumably still in bed. She imagined his light breathing, his chest lifting ever so slightly, wrapped in a warm blanket.

He was lucky. He didn't have to go anywhere, not since he had lost his job. Her mother had informed her of that much.

"Nein, Else, it's not. There's never an excuse for skipping school unless you are ill," Mama said.

Groaning, Else carried her feet upstairs to say goodbye to Maximilian. She found him just as she expected him to be: curled up in a pile of blankets.

"Tchüss, Max." She left him a kiss on the head, allowing her presence to remain in the air a little longer. Then, much to her dismay, she left, thrust out into the biting, freezing streets. Shivering, she quickened her pace, longing for a friend to keep her warm.

Allowing herself to breathe out her frustration, Else turned around and jogged in the direction of her school. Why should she have to go to school and learn when other students didn't have to, anyway? It just didn't make sense to Else. Not that anything did nowadays. The long, narrow building came into sight sooner than she had wished. White paint peeled off the sides of the old school.

"Else, you're late," her teacher said, tapping her foot. A select smattering of students in desks bore into Else's eyes, all filled with boredom, frustration, and cold. Much like herself.

"I'm sorry, Frau Hogstrauser." Her arms quivering ever so slightly, Else returned to her seat, her face warm with embarrassment.

Else always had a fear of teachers.

She watched in mock fascination as Frau Hogstrauser ran the chalk over the blackboard, creating papery lines that formed numbers that soon formed foreign dates. Else bit her lip, the cold reverberating throughout her entire body.

Why couldn't she just stay home?

"As we learned in the beginning of the year, Germany lost the Great War, thrusting our nation into debt and starvation..." the teacher began.

Else desperately tried to listen, to soak in the words of her teacher. Yet all she could think about was home, and Maximilian wrapped cozily in his blankets.

"...all thanks to Jewish spies."

Else froze, her eyes darting around the room in fear. A few eyes met hers, burning with curiosity and hatred. She all knew what they were thinking: her brother was a Jew. It was his fault they had no money for several years.

"It's your brother's fault we lost the war," the classmate sitting next to her whispered. A smirk dripped down his face, sinking into the crevices of his smile. Else squeezed her eyes shut, wishing for it all to disappear. The teacher, the children, her brother's identity. Yet the words couldn't stay inside forever.

"It's not Maximilian's fault! He did nothing, nothing! He was just an orphan, looking for a family. He's not like the others." Glares sent shivers down her spine.

What had she just said?

"Out in the hall, Else. There should be no more interruptions from now on." Else dutifully followed her teacher's instructions and shuffled out into the hall. She waited for the punishment to come for several minutes, of which would most certainly be physical. Her hands trembled as she leaned against the dirt-streaked wall.

What had she just done?

She stuck up for a Jew.

❀❀❀

The radio blared loudly that night, so loud that Else just had to see what all the ruckus was about. Giving up, she allowed herself to escape from underneath the warm blankets for just a moment.

"Mama, what's going on?" she asked. Mama, Father, and Max were crowding around the radio, listening to a station banned by the German government. Else shivered as the chilling air from outside seeped into the house. She squinted in the dim light. Maximilian glanced up from the radio, affection for his sister spreading across his face.

It looked as if they had been caught stealing a loaf of bread.

"Nothing, sweetie. Go back to sleep now," Mama said, turning down the radio.

"But I can't sleep."

"Else..." Mama trailed off.

"Let her stay." Maximilian patted the spot next to him.

Surprisingly, the BBC broadcast rather soothed her. The monotone voices, seemingly coming from nowhere, and the way everyone sat so still and quiet, intently listening. But one question still brewed in Else's mind.

"Are the Nazis good or bad people?"

"Well, I would say they're doing a good job of restoring our country, but I disagree with some of their methods of fixing it..." Father trailed off, glancing in Maximilian's direction.

"It's okay, Father," he reassured.

"So if they are good people, then why are we breaking their laws?"

"It's complicated, sweetie. Now get some sleep." Mama patted Else's head and ushered her upstairs.

It seemed everything was more complicated than the Schüffens believed it to be.

❀❀❀

Each day, it seemed, the laws got stricter and stricter. More and more Jews were arrested, shot, and beaten. Stores with Jewish owners were trashed and closed down. Random searches were conducted throughout the city. Else wanted to bury her head in a pillow and stay there forever.

Surely, the Führer had good intentions. Surely, there was a reason for taking Maximilian's people away; surely there's a reason people hated him.

Yet she could never find one.

Often times I wonder: what were the Schüffens hoping for? If the Germans won, Maximilian would surely be killed. But if the Soviet Union won, then what would become of Germany?

Nothing made sense anymore.

Mama's voice startled Else out of her thoughts. Leaping out of the bed, she scampered down the stairs, like a mouse being chased by a cat.

"Else! Else! Come down here please; it's an emergency!" Her mother's rushed, anxious tone sent chills throughout her body.

"Ja, Mama? I'm here."

"There's an S.S. checking houses, Else, und he'll be here soon. You must promise me, promise me, you won't say anything at all. Nothing about Max. He is not here, understand?" Mama said. Else nodded, fright creeping throughout her entire body. A sharp knock echoed throughout the house.

Mama creaked open the door. Else studied the doorframe, trying to catch a glimpse of his face.

Her eyes met a gray uniform, propaganda stitched onto the man's entire body. Including his eyes.