Broken Wings

Emptiness

Else Schüffen-   Munich, Germany 1941

He was gone.

They didn't even tell her where. All she knew was that he was gone. Maybe for good. It was as if someone had taken a piece of her heart, and thrust it out the window to get trampled by everyday life.

"I just don't understand," she would cry. She would gaze out the window, defeat weighing heavily on her shoulders.

"Me neither, Else, me neither. It was our only choice. At least this way he will still be alive, right?" Mama would say, in a desperate attempt to comfort her daughter.

Yet it never seemed to work.

The weather wasn't exactly helping either. The whole earth seemed to be mourning the loss of Jews killed by the S.S. and Nazis. Gray clouds would blanket the sky, looming low to the ground. Tears would fall wildly, subduing any life below it. Almost like the way our sadness works. We become so self absorbed in our loss that we ignore any happiness that gets in our way.

Else had no desire to attend the Hitler Youth program, especially now. After all, wasn't it Hitler who took away her brother?

"Else, get out of bed! You have to get ready for Hitler Youth!" Mama called.

"Nein, Mama, I don't feel like going," she moaned, burying her head further in the pillow.

"Well, you can't miss it. Now, get out of bed right now or you'll have to skip your breakfast."

Else groaned and begrudgingly rose from her cushioned bed, trudging to the dresser where her Hitler Youth clothes were laid out. The outfit all together was rather drab, with an itchy black skirt that fell to her ankles and an ugly white blouse that was dreadfully uncomfortable. The black tie and Nazi swastika embroidered on the pocket added to the overall stiffness and plainness. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, Else shuddered. She looked much too adult and formal. Tightening her tie, she shook her head and moped down the stairs to get her fill of lumpy, and once again plain, mush.

A child's dream breakfast.

She stared down at it, and it stared back at her. The bowl was filled to the rim with the icky, gooey, mush. Taking a spoon, she dipped into it, shuddering as she felt the pasty texture in her mouth.

Else was certainly not in the mood for mush.

After taking four or five bites, she deemed it enough and rose from her chair, finally ready for Hitler Youth.

❀❀❀

Today, the girls were being taught how to properly make beds.

Boredom lurked in every fold of a quilt, every tuck of a sheet, every drab lecture, threatening to swallow Else's entire concentration.

"Well, this is boring," Myna said, nonchalantly playing with her hair. Her arm would every so often brush against Else's, causing her to burst into muffled giggles. A smile would form on Else's chapped lips. This tall, brawny girl could laugh at anything.

"It's always boring."

"Hey, we should do something fun afterwards. You know, to make up for this boringness," she said, lifting her shoulders.

"I would like that." Else smiled at Myna one last time before directing her attention to the instructor, who was folding a bedspread as a demonstration.

The rest of the session seemed to fly by with a friend at Else's side.

"Please, please, please, Mother!" Else begged after Hitler Youth got out.

"Oh, all right. But you must be home by five, Else, and I mean it."

Myna nodded and turned her attention to Else. "Follow me, I want to show you something." Curious, Else trailed behind her. She had finally made a friend and was determined not to lose her. Finally, it seemed she had found that someone. Someone that just might understand. The girls weaved their way around the crowded streets, with Myna bouncing a worn down soccer ball. The sun smiled down onto the earth, attempting to erase the goosebumps on Else's arms. Myna kicked the ball through a puddle.

I must say, she wasn't exactly a professional soccer player.

Not that I expected her to be, of course.

"Do you play a lot?" Else asked, staring at the ball, which was bouncing insanely high and all over the place.

"Me? Ja, I play every single day."

"Really?"

"Of course not. I was joking."

"Oh, okay," Else said, her cheeks turning a reddish hue. The girls suddenly reached the edge of a creek. It thrashed around wildly, as if it were trying to free itself from the prison of the creek bed.

"What are we doing?"

"Just wait, and you'll see. Don't worry, it's nothing bad," Myna added once she saw Else's frightened look.

The sun tried to peek through the blanket of gray clouds, providing little warmth in the otherwise chilly spring day. Usually little birds flitted around from branch to branch, gleefully chatting amongst themselves. However, today they seemed to be in hiding.

"Okay, we're almost there," Myna said when they reached a clearing, filled with tall grasses and wildflowers. Nodding, Else lifted her skirt and  hesitantly marched through the rough terrain, the grasses clawing at her feet and calves.

"Well, it's good training anyways," Else mumbled.

"What? Oh, ja, it's great!" Myna sprinted ahead, caressing the tips of the grass that looked up at her, smiling at the swiftness of a human's feet, which they longed to possess. Else stumbled after her, blindly making her way through, crushing the smaller blades of grass.

Finally, a large, tall building came into view. It had a rather hostile feeling, and though it was elegant and whoever inhabited it most likely possessed a good deal of money, it's edges seemed have to decayed like a piece of burnt paper with bits of ash staining its surface.

"It was abandoned years ago. I think a Jewish family owned it. Rumor has it that S.S. officers used it as headquarters a while back. But that's all it is, a rumor," Myna explained.

"It's lovely," Else whispered.

"I know! Come on; let's go inside."

"Are you sure no one is living in there?"

"Positive," Myna said with a determined face.

It didn't take long to reach the large, brick wall that loomed over them with authority. It was an ominous structure, which didn't soothe Else's nerves.

"Come on, just through this hole." A medium sized hole had been formed in the worn brick, presumably by Myna.

Coughing and sneezing as dust dispersed everywhere, Else crawled through to the other side, her eyes met with a glorious reward. A fountain stood in the middle of the courtyard, water flowing gently down the sides of a marble angel. It was a truly magnificent sight.

"We can go inside tomorrow. For now, let's just sit at the edge of the fountain. It's too chilly to not bask in what little sun God has given us."

Else nodded. Despite feeling a little disappointed in not being able to explore the house, she was grateful for the glorious fountain.

"So, are you a Hitler follower or Jew lover?" Myna asked, gazing at the fountain.

"I'm not sure yet. My brother is a Jew, but the rest of my family supports Hitler. For the most part, anyways," Else answered uncomfortably.

"I know how you feel. My whole family is a strict Hitler follower. But my favorite aunt is Jewish, so I'm not quite sure what to believe and who to believe."

Else smiled. She had found that someone.