ODDS

ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ ᴛᴏᴜʀ

6 months later

𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓽 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 got very cold, even in the winter. It was one of the things that I loved about it. That, and the fact that it was home. Looking off into the distance, thousands of trees whizzing by my window, I wished I could be there. I wished that I could be anywhere but on that train.

"One more day until we reach the Capitol! Aren't you just dying to be there?" Freya babbled to no one in particular. Or maybe she was talking to someone specific. I wouldn't have known, I was too busy tracing raindrops leaving trails of moisture across the window. The cool air of the train only enhanced the gloom showcased outside of the train. Despite wrapping up in a fuzzy blanket, chills raced up and down my body.

I'd had enough social interaction for the day.

"I'm going to bed." my voice rang throughout the cabin, scratchy from lack of use. I sounded emotionless, not to anyone's surprise. I'd been like this since the start of the tour. If I was away from the camera's flashing presence, I was an empty shell of a person.

Back home, it was more or less the same. I was happier at home. The difference being the fact that I had Morgan, Caspian, Calypso, and now Tora. I had kept my promise to Sander, and it wasn't really a bother anyway, because I found comfort in Tora, and Tora in me. Trauma tends to make fast friends.

I glided through the train's lavish hallways, my feet delicate so as to not make a sound. Loud noises stressed me out now, proving a massive change since coming out of the Games. Before becoming a victor, I was the loudest in the family. It had always irritated Calypso. I could tell by just the looks that she gave me that she missed it. To be honest, I did, too.

The door to my bedroom slid open at my presence, and I found myself in the shower in the connected bathroom. Throughout the Victory Tour, I'd managed to try a variety of different soaps, just so I would have something to keep my mind off of my wandering thoughts. I'd come to the realization that any soap having to do with almonds and vanilla were my favorite. Oddly enough, they reminded me of the smell of my childhood home. It brought what little comfort I could manage.

I dried off after stepping out, being sure to search for the softest outfit. After settling with a plain white, fitted t-shirt and a pair of soft green shorts, I decided on wandering the corridors of the train. I found myself in the large cabin towards the back of the train. The lighting was softer here, making the glossy furniture glow. The only sounds were the soft pattering of raindrops and thunder in the distance. A streak of lightening painted the sky, illuminating the room. I sat there, mind devoid of thought as I watched the rain continue to pour. I had grown warm after my shower, much to my relief, and the silky blanket felt nice on my freshly clean skin. I sat for what felt hours, when the doors slid open, then shut once more.

I heard his voice before I saw him.

"Thought you were going to bed."

"Changed my mind." I replied.

I felt the couch move slightly under his weight. We sat in the silence for awhile. I didn't notice his stare until he interrupted the peace.

"What's going on inside your head?" Finnick questioned in a serious tone, voice quiet, almost in a whisper.

I waited awhile to answer, not exactly knowing what to say. The correct answer was nothing and everything. But that didn't make sense. If I answered in the way that was real, he'd think I was crazy. I'd be considered a victor gone mentally insane. Even if that was true, I didn't want him to think so. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy, but especially not Finnick.

"Today would have been Sander's nineteenth birthday. Tora told me before we left."

Finnick made a sound of realization.

"He would have been free of the reaping." I added, my voice sounding hollow. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to keep the tears from spilling over. At this, Finnick pulled me into his embrace, and that was enough for me to lose total control over my emotions. He was gone, and I was alive.

How cruel of fate it was that the odds were in my favor.

***

Pink was the color of the day.

I hadn't liked the color pink since I was a little girl. But at this point, I was tired of the blue and green hues that I adorned during the rest of the tour. They all reminded me of home, even if their colors were sort of off in the first place. I welcomed this new change, and appreciated that Cinder kept my feelings in mind.

I stood in front of a large mirror, watching Cinder fluff out the brightly colored, layered tool of my dress. It was short in the front, barely reaching the middle of my thigh, but the back plummeted down, trailing behind me a good foot and a half. My waist was cinched with a matching ribbon, and the top of my dress fluffed up with extra tool. Since it was strapless, Cinder sprinkled little silver sparkles across my shoulder blades, just as she did for the Tributes' Parade all those months ago.

I had gotten used to wearing heels, after some training from Zane's wife, Mary. She wasn't a victor, but she grew up being fairly well off, what with being the daughter of the mayor. She had told me of the awkward banquets she would have to attend, and complained about the fact that she was always forced to go every year. Cinder took advantage of these lessons and threw heels on me whenever she had the chance. For this outfit, they were strappy stilettos that were the same color of my dress.

Cinder typically didn't like jewelry, saying that it took away from the brilliant of the outfit. Every so often she'd throw in minimalistic pairings, however. I wore sparkling, dangling earrings, seemingly more silver than the glitter. They hung low, not quite reaching my shoulders. My hair was neat and straightened of its natural wave, parted in the middle to create a sleek look. My makeup was simple enough, as I sported pinkish tones on my cheeks and eyelids, topped of with glossy lips.

I stood in the mirror, taking in my appearance. It was then that I came back to reality.

"Oh, Alana, dear! You look magnificent, like a tropical flower!" Digit exclaimed. The rest of my prep team agreed, and Cinder came to stand in front of me, blocking my view. She looked me over, eyes seeking for any bit of misplaced material. She smiled softly.

"Beautiful." she finally said.

And for the first time in weeks, I smiled.

***

"Well, don't you look dapper." my eyebrow raised, the smirk on my lips unwavering. Finnick turned, and I got the full view of his outfit, which had been designed with the thousands of Capitol women in mind. I let out a giggle.

Finnick rolled his eyes, trying to hide his smile. "Hey, don't judge. I didn't choose this outfit." he half-laughed, half-grumbled.

I shrugged. "Whatever you say."

Finnick quirked his head to the side just a bit, a genuine smile playing on his lips. I looked at him, curiosity getting the better of me.

"What's that look for?"

It was Finnick's turn to shrug. "I like it better when you're happy." he finally answered. At this I smiled.

"Yeah, me too."

Finnick lifted his arm for me to grab. I gladly accepted, my feet already getting sore due to the heels.

"Ready?"

I gave an exaggerated sigh.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Freya suddenly came from behind us. "Alright now, it's time!" she announced excitedly. The large French doors opened, revealing the large crowd of the Capitol elite.

And we were thrown to the wolves.