ODDS

ʜᴏᴘᴇ

"𝓢𝓸, 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓮𝔁𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓵𝔂 are you trying to say?" I asked, clearly not onboard with whatever nonsense the District 12 victor was trying to explain. To be honest, the thin material hugging my curves distracted me. More likely, I was distracted by the looks I was getting because of the dress. Cinder had profusely apologized, but I had assured her that it wasn't her fault.

It wasn't because of her that I was a Desirable.

I had Snow to thank for that.

Finnick stood beside me, arm rubbing against my shoulder as he contemplated Haymitch's words. "The districts are experiencing the most unrest we've had in years, thanks to Katniss. It may become something more."

I peered over to Finnick, who had a thoughtful look in his eye. And for a split second, I found a glimmer of hope. His eyes met mine, and I could tell that he located that same glimmer in mine. Was it worth it, to get our hopes up?

"What does that mean for us?" Finnick questioned, turning back to the older man. "What do you want us to do?"

Haymitch looked the two of us over, studying. For what, I didn't know. All I could really think of was this insane thought, that perhaps things could be better.

"Just be ready for anything. Be aware, keep an eye open." he finally answered.

"Ready for what, exactly?" The men's eyes flickered over to me.

Haymitch looked me dead in the eyes. "Anything."

***

We sat on the large couch, sitting just close enough without touching.

The other victors had boarded the train hours earlier. Thanks to Snow, we would be in the Capitol for another two weeks. A week and a half if we were lucky.

Despite longing for home, it was nice, sitting in the large penthouse, watching the colors of the early morning sky paint the city around us. I could almost imagine I was sitting on the beach, sand in my toes and salty air curling my hair. Almost.

Finnick sat on the edge, elbows on knees, his hands folded for his chin to lean on. His stance made it look as if he were ready to attack at any sign of danger, but his eyes were anything but aware. I could practically hear the thoughts bouncing around in his head.

I stood, slowly making my way to the bathroom, lost in my own wonderland of thoughts.

I wondered about the future. What if it didn't involve death? Or the killing of innocent children? No one would have to be subject to the Games like I had. Children could be children. Parents wouldn't fear for the safety of their families. Loving people wouldn't be a dangerous endeavor.

My heart stopped at the thought.

I could have a family.

I imagined this futuristic scenario. I thought about marrying a boy and settling down in District Four, near the ocean so that we could spend mornings watching the sunrise over the soft waves. A small house, but big enough for a child or two. Maybe a boy and a girl, the boy older so that the girl would have a big brother to protect her and look up to. Like Morgan.

I found myself staring at my reflection in the mirror, fantasy after fantasy playing and rewinding, living and pausing. I wanted that future. I wanted it for myself, yes, but as I began thinking of those around me, those I loved. My desire grew stronger.

Calypso, Caspian, and Tora would be able to live, marrying and having families without the fear of their own children being thrust into the Games. Bonnie and little Noah could have a shot at a normal childhood, safe from being forced to grow up and realize the dangers and evils of the world at so young an age. I thought of all of Panem. A free Panem, full of promise and hope.

And the seed of resolution planted itself firmly in my mind.

I looked around the bathroom, accepting my mission. This Alana wouldn't do, she needed to evolve. She needed to be stronger than she was before, showing no mercy, not backing down. She would show no weakness and would stand firm the knowledge that life could be better. It would be better. She would make sure of it, no matter the cost.

I cut away at myself, revealing this new Alana snip by snip. For each layer shed, she shown through, becoming more confident with each second that passed. Seconds, minutes, hours. I didn't know how long it took for this new Alana to finally arrive, but soon enough, I was staring at someone new. Someone braver.

Finnick appeared in the mirror.

It was silent for awhile, but it felt different than it had before. I knew he could sense it, too.

"I like it." he acknowledged.

I studied myself as he grazed his fingers along the ends of my locks. I gave small smile.

"Me too."