Will You Write With Me

9

Home didn’t feel like home from the moment I reached there. My mom was happy that I had returned back home. I kept dodging my presence from my father for a couple of days.  But he didn’t take more than two days to grasp my presence.
“When did you returned?”, he asked me.
“Two days before”, I answered.
“Hmm”, he replied mono-syllabically and went off to do his million-dollar business. For a month after my return to Chennai, I isolated myself from everyone. I started to skip meals often and made my mom worry. She could not understand my problem, neither did I. I hated everything around me, especially anything romantic. Whenever I switched the channels in television and came across a duet song, I threw off the TV remote. I was anger with myself, for loving a girl who could never be mine. I didn’t had anyone to blame, so I blamed myself for all the mess. I started to torture myself mentally. I wanted a distraction. I knew that I was mentally ill, and it was not a good news for me and also for the people around me. I decided to assist my Dad in work. I travelled with him for a week. I realised the amount of work he put in to earn that much amount of money. He had to sign so much of documents and also, he had to make difficult decisions regarding the future of his company. It might look simple, but it was not easy. Not everyone could take those wise decisions. He was truly a brilliant entrepreneur. I was more than 100 percent sure that I was unfit to be the next owner of our company. I could never be like my father. My plan was utterly failed. I thought that travelling with my father would distract me from my own demons, but it didn’t. My 8 hours of sleep was enough to provoke my depression. Navya continued to trend in my dreams. And I could not help myself to stop dreaming about her. I took some sleeping pills before going to sleep, hoping that she would not be there in my dreams. But it didn’t work too. Whatever I tried, ended up in failure. I gave a call to Meera. I really needed someone to talk, someone who could understand me without judging me. And Meera was my first option. I told her about my depressing reality, and she listened everything I told her. What much a depressing person would need more than a good listener? Considering my state of depression, she asked me to approach a psychologist.
“Why should I approach some stranger to share my problems?”, I asked her.
“Look Advik, you are worse now. I will help you, but not 24*7. I have to work five days a week and I cannot speak with you all those times. It will be better if you check yourself with a psychiatrist. Please, I insist”, she said.
For the first time, I really felt bad for being in home, jobless.
Followed by our conversation, Meera texted me an address of a psychiatrist in Chennai.
Consult her. She is one of the best in your city.
As Meera insisted, I wanted to give it a try. But I was not convinced about sharing my personal issues with some stranger. I didn’t understand the idea behind it.
                 The next day, I went to check on the address which Meera pinged me last day. It was a huge clinic with multiple specialists. I glared at the board, carrying various doctors name. ‘Dr. Dhamodharan (ENT), Dr. Banu (Child specialist), Dr. Alex (Neurologist), Dr. Fathima (Dermatologist) and finally Dr. Rekha (Psychiatrist).
“There she is, Rekha, psychiatrist”, I muttered. Every doctor had their unique timing on that clinic. And it was my fortune that day, as I arrived on time to get an appointment to meet Dr. Rekha, the stranger to whom I was about to share all my personal crisis.
             After getting the appointment, I went inside her cabin sluggishly. To my surprise, Dr. Rekha was a young, beautiful girl. I thought that she would be some 50-year-old grandma, who was going to choke me with her advice. But she was about 30 years old, blonde hair, and a beautiful chick. She welcomed me with a bright smile, and I replied with my glum one. She offered me a seat, as I rested my butt on the sofa.
“Make yourself comfortable. You can sit, stand, and you can even lie down on the sofa”, she said.
Then she started to enquire about my problems. I stated that I was getting irritated over little things. I also told her that I was being too hard on myself. After I completed my statement, she understood that I didn’t confess my whole miserable story.
“What makes you to feel irritated?”, she asked.
“Anything happy”, I said.
“Like what? Anything more specific?”, she asked.
“Like anything romantic. Duet songs, happy couples, love quotes…”, I kept adding. She chuckled to my list.
“Are you dealing with heartbreak?”, she asked.
“I don’t know”, I answered genuinely.
“Listen, if you really want me to help you, I need to know more about your story”, she said and took her notes on her hand. I hesitated to start.
“Whatever you say, will not be judged. And will not be shared with anyone”, she said.
I gathered enough courage to tell her my story. How I had met Navya? My travel to Kolkata, Darshit, Meera, Navya’s engagement… everything. I narrated my story for more than an hour. She listened everything carefully, and that made me to go further.
“You are a writer then”, she asked me.
“Yes”, I replied.
“Sorry I didn’t read your book. But I read one book of Navya”, she said. “She is a very good writer”, she added.
“Yes, she is”, I answered.
“I can understand your problem. But what I can’t understand is, what is your fault?”, she asked me.
“I loved someone who can never be mine”, I answered.
“That is not your fault. That can never be a fault. In life, we all love something which can’t be ours”, she stated a valid point. But that was new to me then. From my childhood, I always get what I wanted, no matter how much the price was. It was said that love cannot be bought by money, and I realised it that day.
“You will be okay”, she said smiling.
“How do you know that?”, I responded quickly.
“Nature has its own way of compensating things that we have lost, including love. You will be graced with blessings”, she said and boosted me with hope.
“We will have one more session next week”, she said and ended our session that day. I bid goodbye to her gleefully.
              Two weeks later, I received a call from Mr. Prabhu. I thought that Navya had complained about me to him like she did to Darshit. As he was my publisher, I could not deny his call.
“Hello”, I started formally.
“Advik!”, he sounded extremely pleasant in surprise. He told me that Netflix was about to make a series based on my debut novel. He also told me that they were ready to sign me as the writer for that series. It was indeed a surprise. Being a writer for a series was the biggest success for a writer. Not that he had talent, it was because he would earn a lot than other norm book writers. After a month, it was official. My debut novel was about to be on screen within some months. And I was officially signed as the screenplay writer for that particular series. The official news was shared on social media, and that made my novel famous. Extra copies were printed as people started to buy it at high numbers. I received many ‘congratulations’ messages. Meera, Varun and even Rohan from US, congratulated me through his message. I even saw Navya’s message.
Heard about your new avatar. I knew that you would achieve something big. You deserve all the accolades.
I didn’t bother about her text. I rejected it as I was ready to move on with my new life, a life without love.
              I was sitting on my table and working tirelessly by writing the screenplay to that fresh project. I was not the only person, Netflix appointed two other people with me to work with the script and screenplay. It was a new experience to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I casually checked my phone while I was eating my samosas for a break. I came across a news, ‘Famous Indian novelist Darshit is going to get married with her long-time girlfriend Anika Chopra’.
“What the fuck?”, I said in a husky voice and puked out a piece of samosa from my mouth. I cleared my eyes few times, to check the name. It was ‘Anika Chopra’, not Navya. Why would he lie to me? Why the hell he purposely pushed me away from Navya?  I had many questions lined up and waiting for an answer. But I could not find any possible answers to my questions. I wanted answers and I knew that only Darshit can provide me.