~ 𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨 ~

three : netflix special

Eddie just wished to be cuddled up to his boyfriend in front of the fire in this unpleasant weather. Unfortunately, Richie's plane had been delayed because of the thunder and harsh rain.

The small boy was wrapped in a blanket as he searched through Netflix, frowning as Richie's comedy special popped up on the screen. He had binged the fuck out of it many times before. To the point where he could quote each line before it was said. Eddie clicked on the show, his face brightening as he saw Richie enter.

Eddie sipped his hot cocoa as he got comfortable on his pristine white couch, missing the warmth that radiated off of Richie.

"So uh, my girlfriend back in high school." He paused as he let out a little giggle. "She saw me masturbating to her friends Facebook page one night, and well now I'm in masturbaters  anonymous." He crowd laughed as he continued.

"You know that reminds me, recently I've been going to therapy. And all these people are telling me-" he paused to clear his throat before imitating a squeaky high pitched female voice. "They tell me 'Follow your heart, make your dreams come true' and I'm sitting in this support group thinking 'I'm a fucking 40-year-old man and this 70-year-old woman is telling me to follow my dreams, what the fuck are my dreams? I'm a comedian with a hot boyfriend I don't have any other dreams!" He giggled and the crowd roared.

"So then it's my turn and everyone's eyes are on me. And Jesus have you seen the state of me? I may have a forehead the size of a planet, but there's nothing in there! So I'm just sitting in this room with fucking 20 and 30 years old- who are all staring at me and I have no fucking clue what to say." He laughed.

"So obviously, my first reaction was to be a snobby bitch and say 'I can't believe you need a licence to become a therapist when you just go around in a circle expecting everyone to spill their dirty little secrets.' And oh god was that stupid. The whole room stared at me, the woman was pissed and then this 20-year-old chick just burst out laughing. I think it's safe to say neither of us are allowed back there." He finished as the crowd laughed. Eddie let out a little giggle as he once again sipped his hot chocolate.

"What the fuck are you all doing out here anyway. I see some fucking 16 years old in the crowd, shouldn't you all be snorting cocaine or some shit? Nah, I'm just kidding. Don't do drugs kids! Listen to your parents, unlike little old me." Richie winked as a couple of kids let out laughs.

"Seriously though, let me fucking tell you that it's not as great as you might think- and oh yes, I'm winking again because I'm hi-lar-ious! Hys-ter-ical!" He exclaimed as people burst out into laugher.

"Oh, my dear Eddiekins might want to cover his ears for this next part as I wouldn't want him to be embarrassed." Richie winked at the camera as he cleared his throat. "So, my boyfriend, Eddie Kaspbrak. He's a stuck up little bitch but oh god, that ass. You know you gotta cover your ears to notice it because he's always ranting about germs and being clean and it's fucking annoying but Jesus. Not to be horny on main but you all should've seen him when we were kids, ooohhh those short shorts. Those images are STILL in my spank bank." He called out to the crowd as they laughed.

"My precious little Eds wouldn't ever admit this, but I think he wore the shorts on purpose! Just to get me to notice him and oh god I did!" Richie giggled.

"Now I've lost my train of thought." He facepalmed and Eddie let out a small embarrassed giggle.

"Oh yes! Your favourite, four-eyed, beer belly of a comedian has a hot boyfriend! Who would've guessed? Not me that's for sure. Anyway, he's an asshole but a cute one, his asshole is cute too. But that's only for me to see." Richie winked once again as Eddie blushed.

"You know, I'd go around kissing Ed's cheeks when we were younger, flirt with him constantly, and he still didn't know I liked him! I had to confess my love when we all reunited two years back because the little dumbass didn't know I liked him until then. I still slather myself on Eddie and he still allows me, well... Technically. It depends on his mood. He can get nasty at times." Richie laughed.