Who We Are.

Macaroni and Garlic Bread

 I stop on page 32 in my magazine. I inspect the photo - looking at the captions and clothes. This looked like something Oniye and Hope would fawn and drool over. I ripped out the page in the magazine and stuffed it into my hospital dress pocket, which I think is very convenient. So far, I have only collected a few items from the hospital - things I was planning to show Oniye and Hope when I get out of here. "If we get out of here," my brain hisses.  Mr. Tanor pecked his head through the door about thirty minutes later. He had a wheelchair in his hand and was holding a sticky note pad. I guess my life would get interesting - we are going somewhere! I drop the magazine I was skipping through and raise an eyebrow. My throat was too sore to question. He starts the conversation, "Um, all the kids are supposed to go down to the BRD's. Bonding Redwood Dorms. But first, I'm supposed to take you down to the cafeteria, because you are supposed to be with other teens but that room is too full. You are going to get some food for the lunch area and bring it back up here because I've heard that the food in the kid's room isn't great.  You can stay there all night if you'd like. There are bunks there if you don't have the strength to head back. You don't have to go if you want, but they have better foods from the cafe." He points to the unfinished pieces of a stale hamburger and an orange and kiwi smoothie that I had left from lunch. I nod and remove the cover from my legs. I finally see them, they are bloody, covered in tire cuts and wheel marks. I look at my side and see that glass was removed but it definitely left its mark. My eyes begin to water and I think - "If I had gone to that party, what would have happened? Would I be here?" I blink back the tears and realize I can't feel my legs that well, just the weird feeling of numbness. Nurse Tanor sees that I can't get out of bed and rushes to help me. I smile as he helps me slide into my wheelchair and I rest my head on the cushion of the chair. I was pushed into the hallway then given a mask by some random lady standing outside my door wearing scrubs. She gave me a pump of hand sanitizer and when it made contact with my hand, my skin starts to peel and my hands started to shake. I must have a cut somewhere. I had always had sensitive skin and this crash only made it worse. Now, I have dry skin and cuts layering my hands. I shake them dry and we make it to the elevators and he presses the request button for an elevator with his elbow. When the door dings, we hop into an elevator with  three other people. He hands me a mask and I slide it on with my right hand, struggling. I put it on wrong so instead I just hold my breath and clamp my eyes shut. When the doors ding open, I gasp for air and Nurse Tanor looks at me like I'm crazy woman. When we arrive in the cafe, I can see that people are taking trays of food on silver plates and are heading out a seperate door. I join the line and wait, uncomfortably tapping the side of my wheeelchair with my index finger. I try to not look back at Nurse Tanor, who is talking to the nurse behind him about an organization event happening on Friday. I sighed, getting bored of earsdropping and we eventually make it to the front off the line. When we do, I order, "A bowl of macaroni and a piece of garlic bread, please." The person behind the counter looked disturbed by the pairing of the two foods but I thought that they looked nice on the menu. He gets them for me and Nurse Tanor orders some greens and a steak. I look down at my food - realizing how hungry I am. Nurse Tanor and I go back upstairs, silently through the elevator. This time, nobody was in the elevator with us so I didn' t bother wasting energy to put on the mask. I fully support the wearing of masks but I didn't have the strentgh to bother with it. We arrived on floor two and we try and make a sharp right turn. I can tell that he is struggling so I swing all my weight onto my right wheel, making it easier to turn and we dive into a large room. 2A. When we enter, my eyes scan the room. Almost everyone is in a wheelchair except for one person and my eyes darted towards him right away. He was black, he had dark slick hair and he was looking down at his phone. I turned to all the other kids, probably eight years old or less and I feel the support that was pushing me forward disappear. Nurse Tanor left me here in the middle of the floor! I use all the power that I can muster and push myself to one side, across the room from the guy without a wheelchair. He eyed me, uninterested, and I sighed. The bunks were all along the walls and I choose a bottom on that is open and sit down. I wince for the millionth time as I move I grab the squishy ball that it is lying unused on the side table and try and flex my arms. The cuts burn but I keep on going. If this is how it is going to be everyday. I'm leaving and going to get better at home. This hospital is so boring - especially if I have to hang out with eight-year-olds and a guy who thinks he is way too cool for the rest of us just because he isn't in a wheelchair. I lay my head back onto the pillow and fall asleep.