Uncertain Love • Dabideku

Chapter two

Izuku's POV

I got home and immediately went to the bathroom to take a shower. I had to be quiet though so I wouldn't wake kacchan. We've been married for five years now and while I do love him he has a dark side that's hard to live with sometimes. He drinks a lot and gets abusive. Physically, mentally and sexually. I think some of his anger has to do with me being the #1 hero and him being #2. But even hero work aside he'll say things like I'm useless, I never do anything right, or I'm only with him for publicity. Those words hurt...

I closed the bathroom door connecting to our bedroom and started the shower. I unzipped my suit and brought it down off my arms. I looked at the semi dry cum on my stomach. I can't believe I cheated... I know kacchan's cheated before but he said he was drunk and didn't know better. I was completely sober and knew better. And it was with a villain! God I'm so screwed!

I finished undressing and got in the shower, quickly washing away the sticky cum. I stood under the shower head and thought about what happened. Why did I like it? Why did I like his touch? His voice? Or his lips all over me? Wait.... my neck..there's definitely going to be some bruises there... how will I hide them? If kacchan sees he'll kill me..

My heart started beating faster and tears weld up in my eyes. How could I let this happen?! I should have just used my quirk on him and arrested him!

Kacchan's right.. I am useless. I don't deserve to be the #1 hero. I don't deserve kacchan either..

I looked at my wrist and had this weird urge to cut it. Would it make me feel better? I looked to the razor sitting on the shelf in the shower with me and thought about it. How could cutting myself make me feel better?

I picked up the razor inspecting it. Maybe just one cut...

I pulled back on the metal letting the 4 blades inside loose. I grabbed one and put the rest back on the shelf. I looked at the 1 inch blade and took a deep breath. Suddenly the urge got stronger and it was almost like I would die if I didn't do it. I held it to my wrist and quickly dragged it across. Blood started spilling out slowly as I didn't cut that deep but it was enough to make the water by my feet turn pink. More tears fell from my eyes. Why do I feel better now? Like a weight has been lifted.

I dragged the blade over my arm again. And again. And again. And again. Each one a little deeper then before. Until I got to the last one where I was shaking from all my emotions. I put the blade on the shelf and slid down the shower wall. Why is my life like this?

One week later

"Deku have you been feeling alright? You've been off for quite a while now." Uraraka asked as we walked the streets on duty.

"Ya I agree. You've been quiet." Shoto said to the left of me.

"Guys I'm fine. Just been rocky at home." I said staring at my feet.

"Rocky or physical?" Shoto asked.

I glared at him and sighed. "It's nothing to worry about."

"We have a tall male, black hair with scars on his body fleeing from a government office on 52nd ave and Bullard rd." We heard from our radios.

That's Dabi! "I got this one guys!"

"Are you sure?" Uraraka asked.

"Yes I'm the fastest one here anyways. Don't worry about it!" I said then took off using one for all.

I ran down the streets till I got to Bullard and turned. I turned again once I got to 52nd ave. And looked around. I ran a little more till I saw dabi going into a bar. Why would he go into a bar?