Nausea. Head ache. Hurt. Broken and tired. This is all my fault if I just sit down my ass in the kitchen then I will never feel this.
Since when we arrived here in NYC. I always stay in my room afraid if my mother would find out that I've been crying since we left at the party.
When we left at the party my sister was pretty well drunk so no one would notice my sobs inside the car. When we got home I just left my sister in the car sleeping. I did not bother waking her up cause I know she wouldn't stop asking questions about me or mumbling an incoherent words then talk about Chris and her enjoying their last moment for being together when she woke up.
Thinking what must be the possible reason why I felt this is so tiring. I never eat food since morning and now I dont know what time is it. I only eat chocolate cake when we got here but thrown up after eating those cakes. Shit!
Sweat dripping down my forehead to my body. My shirt soak with sweat. God! Was I'm going to die? No? Argh!
I need my mom then I cry inside the bathroom. All the words that Kyle said to me last night was still fresh in my mind. The hurt never gone. All my body aching aching for him but he hates me. Why? Why I'm in love with him?
I clutch my chest hard as I felt another stab in it. Then I vomit again. Ahh!! I scream I don't care if they heard me all I need is mom.
I heard the door bang open soon footstep followed that echo in my room then to the bathroom where I lie more like dead. I look pale and my eyes red.
"Bella?.. " mom grab my body then hug me tightly. I heard her crying. "I'm sorry darling mommy doesn't know. Please tell me what you want?" She said rocking my body back and forth trying to comfort me.
"Mom..I need you.." I said my voice crack from crying. I want to hug her back but I had no strength left to lift my hands in the floor. My breathing getting slower and slower soon the darkness consume me still in my mother arms feeling safe.
✓
Beep. Beep. Was that a monitor? I try to move my arms but it felt so heavy. I groan and slowly open my eyes. I succeed but I closed it again feeling the light so bright in my sight. Where I am?
White. The wall is white. Heaven or Hospital. Another beep I turn toward the source of the sound and saw a monitor. Well there was no heart monitor in heaven then I might be in the hospital but what I was doing in the hospital? How did I get here? I sighed maybe I'm sick.
I hear the door creak open and the doctor came in with my mom in her side. She smiled at me and check then monitor of my heartbeat while checking or writings in the paper she carried.
I glance at my mother with disappointment in her eyes but somehow smile at me when she caught me starring at her. I try to talk but my throat dry. The doctor handed me a water and I drink it.
"Mom? Why I'm in the hospital? Am I sick?" Mom shake her head and cover her face as she keep her sobs echo in the hospital room." Whats going on mom? Please tell me.." I plead at her tears now rolling in my cheeks. A sob escape in my mouth as tears continue rolling down to my hospital gown.
I finally blink my eyes to clear it from tears. I look away at my mother then look at the doctor who just stared at us with pity more like sympathy.
"I don't know if it is bad news or good news but I just want to tell you that this was a blessing comes in your life. I know your still young but I know your a fighter do not let depression eat your hope as you feel heartbroken." She advice me? I got confused. Please do not let my thinking true.
"What do you mean?" I felt helpless when asking her. I let another cry and a loud sobs.
"Ms. Johnson's your pregnant." Oh shit! What is happening to me? I didn't move or cry as I just stare at her speechless. Was it a joke but it can be that night was the evidence of this. I'm pregnant with Kyle. I wanted to cry but nothing. I heard the doctor said again. " I need to go but still congratulations." An encouraging smile plaster her lips then she left us. Silence filled the room.
I broke the silence between us and I feel my tears start to fall again.
"Mom..I'm sorry. So sorry" i broke out a sobs while looking at her waiting for her to look up me or come with by my side.
"I know...I thought your nothing like this. I thought you bring a good name to our family." Name? I only got pregnant I'm not ruining it I will still bring that name. My child is not a hindrance I will prove it to her and make her proud.
"I know mom that's why Im sorry. I didn't mean it but look I can still continue my studies and handle the business." My voice was desperate. I only need your trust at me.
"I don't know Issabella." She said still sitting in hospital chair with her close that face in the wall not me. I know she is upset or disappoint at me but all I need was her to trust me.
"Please mom. Do trust me on this please." I cried while saying this.
"How? Issabella? When you are already broken."
"I'm not completely broken mom. I just got pregnant. Im not dead I can still move and focus in life this was just a lesson to me mom. I will love this child growing on me. And I will not regret about having this."
"What about his father?" Father? He is already dead in my heart I don't need him. I shake my head while gripping the hospital bed and fritted my teeth. Looking up at the ceiling.
"I don't know mom all I know he hates me and blame me about this." Rage surge my body thinking about him. I always a fool when it comes to him.
"I understand but what if he will find out and get him/her to you? Or what if we will just abort the baby?" Shocked. I look at her direction another anger I felt.
"Abort? I will not do such thing! If his father don't need me I don't care he give this to me and I cherished it with all my heart. And if I do that I will just overdue his evilness. I don't need him mother. I don't !" I utter sternly as I look at the ceiling as if he was my biggest enemy. I keep glaring and shoot a dagger toward the ceiling as if it was my biggest enemy.
I felt my bed dip and I slowly enveloped by a hug of my mother. Soon she kiss my forehead. I thought I could never hug her. I sigh in relief.
"I understand and trust you. I will always proud of you my Issabella."
With that I burst out my cry I didn't care who heard us but right now I feel free crying like this. Letting go all of my emotions.
This is still not the end of my life....
★★★★★★
Its not bad when you cry you know
But I don't know if I convince you to cry in this chapter
Still updating...
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My Worst Destruction (all of me)✓
Teen FictionLife without music was boring cause music makes your life complete. It makes you happy even if you just listened to it. Music contemplate about your thought your life. It could make you feel free and contented even your alone. You can sing and dance...
