falling like rain / jack harries fanfic

xviii

jack } dec. 12th } 691 days before

i woke up to a wet feeling on my face, opening my eyes to a happy springer spaniel slobbering all over my face. tiffany. i gently proded her off sat up in the couch.

tiffany sat down by the foot of the couch, gently panting and smiling at me. i rubbed her ears and felt myself smiling back at her.

i threw off the quilt noelle lent to me and walked over to the kitchen. there was a note on the counter reading

jack- i'm at work. help yourself to coffee, and please leave as soon as you can.

-noelle

i found a mug and poured myself the leftover coffee. i went back to the livingroom to drink it with the company of tiffany.

please leave as soon as you can. the words felt like lemon juice in my wounds from last night. it pained me to think that she just wanted me to leave her alone, but i'm already causing her enough pain that she doesn't deserve.

i softly petted tiffany as i sipped the last bit of the cold coffee. i set it by the sink by the other dishes she didn't have time to put in the dishwasher (she felt pretty indifferent about how clean her livingspaces were).

i found a piece of scratch paper and a pen and jotted down a reply.

noelle }

i opened the door of my flat and was comforted by the warmth. it was getting chilly now, chilly enough to be thankful for the heating in my flat.

i shook off my thin coat and shoes and went into the livingroom. i rolled my eyes when the quilt i had leant him was halfway on the floor and the pillow still on the couch. i'm not some sort of hotel cleaning lady here, jack. i folded the quilt and took the pillow and put them in the closet in my bedroom.

i went into the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar. just as i was about to leave, a note on the counter stopped me.

"noelle-

"you didn't deserve any of this.

much love,
jack

p.s. thanks for letting me sleep on your couch. tiffany was lovely."

i felt a deep pit in my stomach develop. this was really it; we were done.

i told him to leave because i couldn't stand him standing there in front of me, while i'm crying and yelling at him for being such an idiot. i remember how he laughed at me after i was done yelling, like i was some sort of joke or something. he's just so confusing. it's too exhausting figuring out what he's even thinking.

i could've forgiven him then and there, but i was too much of an emotional mess. my heart ached too much to just give him a chance.

i felt tears well up in my eyes as i stared at the note. this was our goodbye, wasn't it? i would never spend hours in the coffee shop laughing with who i thought i was in love with, never fall asleep on his shoulder again when we watched movies. but it's for the better. he still loves annie, and i don't know if i love him.

i took a bite out of my granola bar and pushed the note to the side of the table. i wiped the tears from my eyes and flopped on my back on the leather couch jack had ironically slept in. tiffany trotted over and nuzzled her head into my hand.

"boys really do suck, tiffany." i told her. "they suck a lot."

i stroked her ears as she excitedly licked my face.

"dogs are much better." i ate my last bite of granola bar and stared at the ceiling. "much much better."

jack }

"jack?" my head snapped up.

"what?"

"are you going to order?" finn chuckled.

i looked up to a waitress patiently smiling at the foot of the table holding a pad of paper.

"oh yeah, um i- i'll just have a ... um, burger."

finn smirked at me as she jotted down my order and walked away.

"you ok?"

i shrugged.

he raised his eyebrows. "what did she do?"

"she ... she dumped me, i think..." i stared at my hands.

"you... think?" he chuckled. "what did you even do?"

"i just saw annie at stevens party and... i just, don't even remember -"

"aw man, i knew it was too soon for you to start dating again," finn told me. "you gotta give yourself a break."

"she .... she said that she never wanted to see me again." i said quietly, my whole mind fog up with memories of the night before.

finns eyes softened and let out a long breath.

"so... what are you going to do?"

i felt a sudden pain in my stomach and in my chest. "she hates me, finn. there's nothing to do."

"she doesn't hate you." he laughed.

i pictured her cold eyes telling me to leave over and over again, tears staining her face. her voice was filled with sadness and hate.

i swallowed.

"jack, seriously, how could she hate you?"

i clenched my fists and breathed out heavily.

"can we talk about something else?" i said, choking back the unknown tears coming up in my eyes.