New Feeling - MILES FAIRCHILD

CHAPTER 15

(Flashback -2 years ago)

Y/n feels a stinging pain on her left cheek. The cause was something she hadn't expected a year ago. Or even a week ago for that matter. Should she have expected it?

Mike eyes widen. He was almost as scared as y/n. Almost.

"Oh my God y/n" he starts but y/n runs up the stairs before he can finish.

Her heart pounded in her chest and she slammed the door shut behind her. The force was so wrong the ground shook beneath her feet. Her feet that once danced with joy around Mike, had tripped over the wire of love. She fell. Hard. But when she tried to stand up again she realised her ankles had broken and she was stuck on the floor. So she lied there. Scared if she tried to stand again she'd cause more damage to herself. And so she lied on that floor. She chose to stay. Because the idea of running scared her more. And so when Mike knocked on that door. Crying tears of hate and empty apologies...

She opened that door.

Y/n's POV

The warmth of the campfire warmed my whole body. But I still felt cold. I thought I moved on from Mike but lately he's all I could think about. He's my shadow. And I was scared of that shadow. It terrified me. But no matter where I hid. It was always there. In the brightest, sunniest days, and the darkest, coldest nights.

I don't know if it's because of Miles or just my past catching up with me. Maybe a little of both. Although I admit it, Miles has been nice. REALLY nice. Almost even charming, I KNOW it won't last. Sooner or later he'd turn around and go back to his old ways. So maybe it's best to keep him at arms length.

"You want a marshmallow?" Miles ask handing out a bag of marshmallows. Well... Marshmallow.

"Where are they" I ask in a joking manner.

Miles smiles in an adorable, dorky boyish grin and motions behind him at Flora with a mouthful of marshmallows. There's so many they poof out  her cheeks like a chipmunk.

My mother who had been chatting up Ms. Gross looks over and her eyes bug out of her head. "FLORA!!!" she yells. "Flora honey slow down" she exclaims. Miles and I laugh. As Flora chews all the marshmallows at once but the stickynes makes it difficult.

Once we laugh until we physically can't anymore and my mom is now calm Miles takes a seat next to me.

"So Miles I heard you can play guitar" my mom strikes conversation.

"Yeah... Uh... I do that" he says awkwardly. "I also play drums and stuff to... So yeah..."

"Pretty cool" my mom nods enthusiastically. "You should play for us sometime. We could do like a fun music concert" she says doing a weird, totally embarrassing, air guitar thing.

I palm my forehead in embarassment. God it's like she's taking to my boyfriend about my baby photos.

Wait what?

Why the hell would I make THAT comparison. I mean like Miles is hardly a friend. And he I don't like him like that. Anymore at least. I mean sure I had that stupid thing for him in the past but that weird phase is longggg gone.

Right?

Even I'm not convinced.

Miles chuckles awkwardly and replies "yeah no thank you"

Flora who is sitting in the grass let's out a loud yawn. "Are you tired sweety? I'll take you inside." my mom replies quickly. Flora nods and jumps into my moms arms looking helplessly tired.

As my mom carries her Flora to the house she looks over mom's shoulder and gives Miles a thumbs up.

What?

Ms Gross goes in as well leaving the two of us alone together.

"What was that?" I ask Miles.

"No clue" he says.

We sit an awkward quiet for a little while. "Do you want the marshmallow?" he ask.

I smile. "It's all yours" I say.  He smiles and plops it into his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he says.

I look up at him shocked.

"I mean it. I've been a dick. And I'm sorry. I have a bad temper..." he says. The way he says it looks like he's coming out of a disturbing dream. "I know I've said some pretty awful sick shit," he says.

"I've seen worse" I mumble under my breath.

"Huh?" he ask.

I don't reply.

"I actually uh... Got expelled from my last school" he tells me. I look at him shocked. "I strangled a kid... Almost killed him. I just... I was so angry. I felt awful but it didn't matter. I was... I am a monster."

"You're not a monster" is what I want to say. But can I actually say that? Not only would I be lying but I would be excusing what he's done. And that would make me bad as well. "You should get help" is what I say instead.

"Maybe... I just don't know how to ask," he replies.

"Just try asking my mom. She's really good at stuff like that. After my dad killed himself and my boyfriend-" I start to say but instantly regret it. But it's to late. I already started saying it. And why? Why did I tell him? One of the things on my life that causes me pain. That prevents any possibility of happiness.

"Holyshit y/n..." he says running a hand through his wild dark blob of hair. "That's terrible" he says. With genuine care in his tone.

This might be the first time I've ever had anyone care about anything that has to do with me or my life. And so yeah of course I feel butterflies in my stomach.

He moves his chair closer to mine. At first I feel anxious. But then he puts his hand on mine. His hand feels warm from the fire. "Sorry..." he says starting to remove his hand.

"No" I protest. "I appreciate the comfort" I say. And then I pour it all out. To him. The person I least expected to tell anything. And he listens to me. And in the end when I'm a sobbing mess he hugs me tight. And I feel safe in his arms. Even though just a few minutes ago I felt terrified of him. Then I feel the butterflies. And now I'm more terrified than ever. So  I let go.

I let out a fake yawn,"I'm going to bed. Goodnight" and go off before he has the chance to utter a good night to me.