The One (ReaderXJohn Mulaney)

Chapter 13

He was right. 

I hated to say it, but he was right. 

We were cornered by the justice system.

The cops would come in, arrest both me and John.

Whatever we would end up being convicted with, whatever it ended up being, it meant I would never see John again, and he would never see me. It didn't matter it I went to jail and he didn't, or if he went to jail and I didn't, I would never see my sweet, sweet dear man again. My beloved, my one. Never again. 

I couldn't bear the thought.

John was right.

We had to kill ourselves.

But how? We were in a high school English classroom. We didn't have any guns, or poison. The fall wasn't high enough an death via asphyxiation wasn't a realistic outcome, it would be too difficult.

"John? What do we do?" I asked, standing and watching him rummage around the classroom.

"Just a second- I'm looking."

"The cops-"

"Fuck the cops. They're a group of french assholes slowly taking over America. We'll be gone before they even get close to us. Any ways, we've thrown them off their rhythm. We have a little while to figure something out."

"If we're going to kill ourselves..." was I really on board with this? My voice was shaky. "...how should we do it?" 

"I'm trying to figure that out. How do you feel about lethal amounts of paper cuts?" 

I shook my head.

"Too slow. It should be quick."

"You're right. Look at you, so smart. " John smiled, putting the paper back and rummaging around some more.

The quiet set in and I fell into my reflective state.

I realized I had never been at the school during weekend. I was too basic to be part of any clubs, so I never frequented the school during closing hours, unlike the theater kids, who practically lived in the damn building. I sort of regretted it. I would have always loved to see the school while it slept. While the only light that got in was the light of the evening sun, rich, golden light that would hug the painted brick walls and creep into even the most obscure corners, be it only for an iota of a second. Light that was momentarily interrupted by a bird flying by, perhaps off the roof of the building. The light that crossed the same path day after wretched day, and would continue to glow long after I died, and John died.

A silent but visceral emotion flooded my body. 

I didn't want to die.

I didn't want to die! 

I wasn't ready to go yet!

I want to be eternal like the sun.

"Y/N?" John asked, snapping me out of my sickening mindset. 

"What?" I asked, asunder.

"What about this?"

He held up a pair of juvenile yellow craft scissors.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do with that?" I asked.

"I just thought.."

"No John..I know," I said, not wanting to comply to what he was insinuating. "If that's the only thing...I guess it'll do."

The fear really started to amp up now. 

"Wait-" I said, backing up. "How do you wanna go about this?"