The depression

This is only the beginning

Hi! Ew, that was way too happy. Anyway, there is a reason for this, I'm seirra, yes that's a name, and I hate it. Maybe because it was my dads idea, or maybe it's because it just seems ugly to me. It's not like I wanted it this way, I want to be happy, I want to be able to smile. I did smile for a little bit, when he was the one I loved. He was my everything, but it wasn't meant to be. I brush it off at some times, but other times I cry. I hide my fears and become an overly joyed person, but I'm not. I have proof I'm not, and I also have reasons. Sometimes you just wish you weren't here... Like all pain can go away at some time, but that's not always the case.
The truth is, I'm a mess, a mistake, a whore, a bitch, and so many other things to most other people. Giving away life was my first option, it was an option for 7 years, when mom became a drug attack and my dad became overly abusive because of it. I have a younger sister, lyanna who is still young. She is only 8, and I've been taking care of her since birth. I've never trusted my dad, since the day I turned 6, when I understood what he was doing. I protect my sister cause she's the only thing I have left, and I'm the only thing she's ever had. I'm 16, if I didn't mention that before. My mom became a drug attack when I was 9, but she's also been in and out of our lives until my sister was born. She is just lucky my sister is healthy, since she drunk 2 times every 3 months when she was pregnant. Lyanna only talks to me anymore, and I only ever talked to her about important things. If I were to die, I would hate myself for leaving my sister, and that's the only reason why I'm here.
His name... Oh, him. His name was bryon, and only I knew how great of a person he really was. The way he wrote, was amazing and he was just an all around amazing person. We dated for 2 years before he left me for my best friend. It's been 5 months since the break up, five months of hell, five months of not wanting to even get up in the morning. I thought everything was great, we still had our little things that made me blush. Then one morning he told me he was sorry... Never told me why until that afternoon. I sat on my bed for a week not being able to move, feeling numb. He was the only happiness I had left besides my sister.
Before Bryon was even a thought in my mind I cut. I cut everyday, every night, I cut whenever I could. But after I started going out with Bryon, I stopped for the longest time. I was so strong, I tried my hardest in all my power to never break my promise. But he also promised he'd never leave me, so my Demons came back, worse then ever. I cried for the longest time. I've cried ever since that day, and I've wanted to stop crying, I've wanted to stop crying for 5 months, wanted to stop all the pain. But we can't always get what we want.
So here I am now... and this is just the beginning.
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Omg, I'm sorry if this sucked, this is really my first story about the lack of love and depression. This is not based on a true story, or on me. There are some parts in here though that did happen and did come from the heart.
Please like and comment because it would mean the world to me
THANK YOU!!!!